BONZI WELLS IS THE GREATEST CHINESE BASKETBALL PLAYER EVER

bonzichina

BONZI WELLS AT PRACTICE IN CHINA

Former NBA basketball player Bonzi Wells recently signed with Shanxi of the Chinese Basketball Association. In his first two games in China Wells is averaging 50.0 points per game. He scored 48 in his Chinese League debut and added 52 in his next game. Wells had to shoot the ball 37 times to get his 48 points (including jacking 15 three-point attempts.) He replaced former Atlanta Hawks forward Donta Smith on the Shanxi roster who scored a mere 41 points in his final game before he was cut in favor of Wells.

There are at least 13 former NBA players on professional basketball teams in China including Olumide Oyedeji, Chris Porter, Awvee Storey, Kirk Snyder, David Harrison, Rodney White, Donnell Harvey, Amal McCaskill, Dontae’ Jones, Priest Lauderdale and native Chinese players Mengke Bateer and Wang Zhi Zhi.

That’s a fairly impressive crew of NBA castoffs and has beens. Porter was a college star and SI coverboy at Auburn before becoming a drug addict. Harrison was suspended by the NBA for being a dope smoker. He then went on the radio and claimed marijuana prevents lung cancer. White was one of the league’s all-time lottery busts after being selected 9th overall by the Detroit Pistons in the 2001 NBA draft. Storey is the quintessential journeyman and Lauderdale was one of the fattest players in NBA history. He was released by the Denver Nuggets  for poor conditioning. Lauderdale was once caught eating donuts while riding the exercise bike in the Nuggets weight room.

Lauderdale’s exit from the NBA wasn’t nearly as spectacular as that of Dontae’ Jones, though. Jones had his career derailed after he was arrested for his involvement in the shooting of SEVEN people in 1999.

Oyedeji meanwhile has come the closest of any human of literally being a failed basketball player in every continent on Earth. A native of Africa, Oyedeji failed in North America (with the Seattle Sonics and Orlando Magic), Europe (Germany and Greece), Australia (the 2006 Commonwealth games), and Asia (Korea.) Had he simply signed to play a year in South America rather than the season he spent playing professionally in Puerto Rico, Oyedeji would have pulled off the global hat trick of sucking. Still, failing on five contintents is a rather impressive feat and is probably unparalleled in basketball history.

So, congrats to Olumide Oyedeji for sucking of five continents. Unless Antarctica gets an expansion team, that’s an achievement that likely won’t be topped.

 

olumideoyedeji

OLUMIDE OYEDEJI: SPANNING THE GLOBE IN SUCK

Tags:

3 Responses to “BONZI WELLS IS THE GREATEST CHINESE BASKETBALL PLAYER EVER”

  1. RR Says:

    That’s not how hat tricks work.

  2. Bobby Says:

    You are such a caustic jerk. How can you bad mouth people so terribly, even when your facts are wrong. U’re just a loud mouth with a tiny unintelligent brain

  3. Alishia Orpen Says:

    Kim Jong Il is conscious that his finish is approaching and like every skillful dictators is in the process of dynasty construction aided by the set up of his son. A son that wasn’t known about until very recently. How this can have an effect on this problematic part of the world remains to be observed. I am certain that they will still continue as worldwide outcasts just supported by China and rogue nations

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 53 other followers

%d bloggers like this: