CANDY CIGARETTES OUTLAWED

As of today, the sale of candy cigarettes and most flavored cigarettes is now banned in the U.S.

Despite the best efforts of Sen. Jim Bunning of Kentucky, the  Family Smoking Prevention and Control Act of 2010 passed. Other aspects of the law include:

* Tobacco companies can no longer advertise at sporting events or music concerts.

* Cigarette brand names are not allowed on apparel. For instance, no more Camel t-shirts or hats. No Marlboro beach towels.

* Even the sale of clove cigarettes is now illegal.

* Virtually all cigarette ads can no longer be in color. Only black text on a white background.

Here’s a partial list of tobacco items that are now illegal:

TOBACCO PRODUCT SPONSORSHIP OF SPORTING EVENTS

ADS AT BASEBALL GAMES

CANDY FLAVORED CIGARETTES

CANDY CIGARETTES

CLOVE CIGARETTES

SPORTS RELATED ADVERTISING BY CIGARETTE COMPANIES

CLOTHING OR APPAREL WITH CIGARETTE BRAND NAMES

VARIOUS COUPONS FOR CIGARETTES

GIVEAWAYS TO ENTICE PEOPLE TO BUY CIGARETTES

COLORED MAGAZINE ADS FOR CIGARETTES

INSENSITIVE BP CEO SOON TO BE STONED TO DEATH

TONY HAYWARD SAILS INTO INFAMY

British Petroleum CEO Tony Hayward isn’t going to win any PR awards. His latest public relations gaffe was to attend a yacht race over the weekend. That was such a poor choice that even Fox News piled on the criticism of the hapless oil exec.

An oil spill by Hayward’s company has already spilled millions of gallons of crude into the Gulf of Mexico with no end in sight. Hayward is such an incompetent stooge he’s already been compared to Marie Antoinette.

‘MY NAME IS TONY HAYWARD. I OWN A MANSION UND A YACHT.”

ARMANDO GALARRAGA ALREADY LOST PERFECT GAME, NOW GETS BLAMED BY REPUBLICANS FOR DEFICIT

ARMANDO GALARRAGA WITH HIS CONSOLATION VETTE

Cursed Detroit Tigers pitcher Armando Galarraga just can’t win. Literally.

In case you missed it, General Motors is kinda a big deal in Detroit. After being hosed out of a perfect game by the worst call in baseball history, Galarraga was given a free Chevrolet Corvette by GM. In what seemed to be a masterstroke of publicity, the president of General Motors of America drove a brand new Vette onto the field of Comerica Park and presented Galarraga with the keys. Great publicity stunt, right? Not so fast.

Republican politicians are lining up to blast Galarraga’s free car. They are making the claim that since taxpayers still hold $2.1 billion in the company’s stock, General Motors has no business giving away a free $53,000 car to an athlete. California congressman Darrell Issa of California was particularly whiny about the situation. This despite the fact that GM has already repaid a government loan back ahead of schedule and received a ton of free publicity over the free car for Galarraga.

BP PHOTO OF THE DAY

SHEPARD SMITH OF FOX NEWS HAMMERS BP EXEC IN COMMENTARY

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ANGRY SENATOR USES 11 S-BOMBS WHILE QUESTIONING GOLDMAN SACHS EXEC

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U.S. Senator Carl Levin of Michigan used the word “s–t” or “sh–tty” 11 times while grilling a Goldman Sachs executive on Tuesday.

GLENN BECK MAKES THE COVER OF FORBES MAGAZINE

GLENN BECK

Radio and Fox News Channel talk show host Glenn Beck is being featured on the cover of Forbes magazine this week. The business publication singled out Beck after he made $32 million in the last 12 months while employing some three dozen people in his various business enterprises.

AMERICA’S “TOP PSYCHIC” NEVER SAW SEC LAWSUIT COMING

SEAN DAVID MORTON

The New York Times took the layup headline of the weekend, if not the year, proclaiming, “For Psychic, Suit Came As Surprise.” That following the Securities and Exchange Commission suing “America’s Prophet” and radio psychic Sean David Morton for securities fraud. The SEC says Morton bilked hundreds of investors out of more than $6 million.

Morton fraudulently claimed on his website and on the overnight radio show “Coast to Coast” that he had given “EXACT DATES for rises and crashes over the past 14 years” with his predictions of the stock market. Authorities described Morton in the Times article as “a fraud-and a really, really bad psychic.”

Morton countered that he was being hounded by “dishonest and incompetent S.E.C. employees, who apparently need to justify a trip to California in order to visit Disneyland and eat In And Out Burgers at taxpayers’ expense.”

Morton claimed to use a method called “spiritual remote viewing” to picks stocks.

THE MCCOURTS TRICKLE ON THEORY OF ECONOMICS

JAMIE AND FRANK MCCOURT

According to the Los Angeles Times business section, Los Angeles Dodgers owners Frank and Jamie McCourt earned $108 million from 2004 through 2008. They paid $ 0 in federal income tax and $0 in state income tax on that income. They are probably not going to pay a dime in taxes this year either.

There is no indication that the McCourts did anything untoward or illegal in escaping a tax bill. They simply took advantage of existing tax law, particularly in the commercial real estate business. In addition to real estate loopholes, the McCourts also took out a $140 million bank loan against the value of the Dodgers. Included in that loan was $20 million the McCourts paid themselves to “fund their lifestyles.” Tax free.

The McCourts also used “depreciation” rules quite liberally. For instance, they purchased the Dodgers from Rupert Murdoch of NewsCorp and Fox TV for $430 million in 2004. On paper, the McCourts could actually claim a financial loss for the Dodgers by using existing tax laws. They simply claimed the standard depreciation deduction for the first five years that they owned their baseball team. Even though the Dodgers made enormous amounts of money during that time. Last year, the Los Angeles Dodgers brought in $275 million in revenues. Their team payroll was $100 million. Also, keep in mind, Frank McCourt paid NO MONEY to acquire the Dodgers. He simply flipped a parking lot that Murdoch wanted in Boston and parlayed that into his ownership of the club.

Even Jamie McCourt’s own lawyer seemed embarrassed by the Times’ findings and admitted about the money the couple “lost” from ’04-’09, “They’re tax losses. I don’t mean REAL losses.” The McCourts’ tax issues are just another thing being made public in the couple’s ugly divorce. Jamie McCourt had also revealed that she and her husband paid themselves between $2 million and $3 PER MONTH in salary and expenses from the Dodgers. That money was also tax free which is a good thing for Mrs. McCourt considering her poor choices in boy toys.

TMZ.com also ran an article that showed Frank McCourt spent $52,000 on clothes since November and recently took an $81,000 vacation. Jamie McCourt also wants her spousal support raised to $2 million per month. Since Frank McCourt has no other job or business that produces ANYTHING, that money would come straight from Dodgers fans.

SMOTHERED AND COVERED

The man who was the primary architect of virtually all of the Waffle House restaurants throughout the south died recently. He was 82.

CLIFFORD A. NASHER: SMOTHERED AND COVERED , R.I.P.