Florida mug shot of the day

Officer of the Year caught dealing meth

DAVID BRITTO

Until yesterday, Boynton Beach police office David Britto had quite the amazing resume. Not only was Britto the city’s 2010 “Officer of the Year” with an amazing ability to track down drug dealers, but he also found time to work with at risk youth, serve as an instucor at the Teen Police Academy, run a popular website, write a Christian blog and moonlight as a “life coach.” The 28-year-old Britto was also a former Marine.

With all this going on you’d think it would be hard for Britto to secretly be working another job. Yet he was. As a METH DEALER. Britto was recently arrested. Authorities say he had secretly been selling meth for the past two years even as he had been blogging about the teachings of Jesus Christ at the site blessedwarrior.com.

Teen Trend: Vodka Tampons

Very rarely does something start out as an urban legend and end up being true.  A recent article in a German newspaper warned about a “new form of alcohol abuse”among teens-vodka tampons.

The article says teen girls soak tampons in vodka then insert them. Apparently, this is a way to get drunk without having alcohol on your breath. A Phoenix tv station did a piece on the same subject a couple of years ago and the below video was a YouTube sensation:

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Scorned mistress keeps making Barry Bonds her personal pinata

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Apparently, hell hath no fury like a mistress scorned. The Barry Bonds trial continued Tuesday with what has been described as its “Ew phase.”Scuzzy personal detail after detail was unveiled by the baseball slugger’s longtime mistress, Kimberly Bell. Bonds testicles shrank. He was bad in bed. He had sexual dysfunction. Bonds once threatened to cut Bell’s head off. And her breasts.

Don’t think it was just tabloids and snarky blogs covering this nonsense. Even highbrow media organizations like the Wall Street Journal and The Atlantic are covering the Bonds steroids/perjury trial. Granted, they’re calling it “Godforsaken.”

The battle of Bell vs Bonds’ lawyers in court has already been described as a “cringefest.” Bell has already described Barry’s shrinking testicles and how the baseball Home Run King threatened to cut her head off and “cut out my breast implants because he paid for them.”

Bell has already given interviews where she described Bonds as a “selfish” lover. She told Playboy magazine in 2007, “I always figured he had PMS, like a woman.”

HERE’S SOMETHING YOU NEVER WANT TO SEE: A COURTROOM SKETCH OF YOUR FORMER MISTRESS TESTIFYING AGAINST YOU

NFL qb/heroin addict

ERIK AINGE

New York Jets quarterback Erik Ainge hasn’t played a game in his NFL career. He has, however, shot heroin.

In an interview with ESPN New York, the former Tennessee qb admitted he’s a drug addict. Ainge revealed he has overdosed on hard drugs in the past and went on a drinking binge before reporting to training camp last year that landed him in rehab for the umpteenth time. Ainge also admitted that his use of heroin, cocaine and alcohol was so out of control that he made “Charlie Sheen look like Miss Daisy.”

Barry Bonds’ tiny testicles about to become a matter of public record

KIMBERLY BELL

The Barry Bonds perjury trial continues today. Kimberly Bell, one of the government’s star witnesses against baseball’s Home Run King, is expected to take the stand today.  The government is expecting Barry’s former mistress to establish: 1.) That he has very small testicles and was a bust in bed as a result of his frequent steroid use and 2.) Bonds is a complete and total dick and liar.

Bonds reportedly confided in Bell that he knowingly used steroids and lied about it to a grand jury and federal investigators. Not only is Bell’s testimony potentially incredibly damaging to the Bonds defense, but she also saved 11 incriminating voicemails that the prosecution was going to use as evidence of “roid rage.” Fortunately for Bonds, a judge threw out the tapes. However, the transcripts of the voicemails have already been leaked to the media.

In addition to graphic sexual testimony, Bell, who once posed in Playboy, is also expected to tell of how Bonds’ head and feet grew while he was in his mid-30′s not to mention his disgusting bacne. The prosecution also wants to paint Bonds as abusive. In 14 pages of voicemail transcripts leaked by the prosecution, Bonds starts one message to Bell,

“Hey, bitch…”

All of the voicemails to Bell are profane, hostile and abusive. He repeatedly calls his mistress a “bitch” and a “f—ing slut.” On one voice message, Bonds orders Bell to “drop every f—ing thing and call me.”

Photo of the woman who shoved 54 bags of heroin and $51.22 into her vagina

KARIN MACKALIUNAS: TA DA THE ARISTOCRATS

A 27-year-old Scranton, Pennsylvania woman has been hit with drug charges after police found “54 bags of heroin, 31 empty bags used to package heroin, 8.5 prescription pills and $51.22 stuffed inside her vagina.

Local Pennsylvania press has been trying to outscoop each other on details of the story while at the same time struggling over how to phrase the word “vagina” in a family paper.  The Wilkes Barre paper preferred the term “body cavity” while the Scranton paper chose to use the phrase that the woman put the drugs “inside herself.”

Meanwhile, phillyburbs.com had the most penetrating vagina reporting. They revealed that the drugs found inside the woman were Xanax and even had the brand of heroin the woman shoved inside herself (“Black Magic.”) Phillyburbs also had details of Mackaliunas’arrest. After police arrested her with three bags of heroin, they noticed her moving around “suspiciously” in the back of the squad car. First, police observed her putting “her hands inside her underwear.” The cops then noticed “instead of getting the drugs out, she was attempting to shove them inside.”

Seattle Times comes out in favor of marijuana legalization

The largest newspaper in the state of Washington has endorsed House Bill 1550. If passed, that bill would legalize marijuana throughout the entire state. In a recent editorial, the Seattle Times stated categorically stated, “Marijuana should be legalized, regulated, and taxed.”

In 1998, Washington was one of the first states to pass medical marijuana legislation. In 2003, Seattle voted to make simple marijuana possession “the lowest police priority.” Last year, Seattle’s City Attorney stopped all prosecutions of simple marijuana possession.

The Times estimates that Washington could raise $300 million each year by legalizing pot.

Evidence against Barry Bonds: Greg Anderson on tape and his tiny, tiny testicles

 

GREG ANDERSON: BACK TO JAIL

KIMBERLY BELL: FORMER MISTRESS TO TESTIFY ABOUT BONDS’ SEXUAL PROWESS (OR LACK THEREOF)

The Barry Bonds perjury trial finally gets under way this month. The government’s case against Bonds has become increasingly difficult. A tremendous amount of the feds evidence has been thrown out but the main blow in the Home Run King’s prosecution has been that the guy who allegedly gave Bonds his illegal and performance-enhancing drugs has refused to tesitfy against him.

Greg Anderson once went to jail for a year to avoid implicating Bonds. This week, Bonds’ childhood friend and former personal trainer testified he’s prepared to go back to jail rather than rat on Bonds.

However, Anderson may still put Bonds behind bars. That’s because the judge in the case has allowed a key piece of evidence-a tape of Anderson talking about Bonds using steroids. In that tape, Anderson talks about “stuff” Bonds was taking that coould avoid drug testing.

Another Bonds witness sure to embarrass the former slugger is Kimberly Bell, his former mistress. Bell is scheduled to testify about “the shrinkage of Bonds’s testicles and the worsening of his sexual performance” all of which could be attributed to steroid and HGH use.

Bonds is on trial for perjury because authorities claim he lied to them about using performance-enhancing drugs.

Turns out horse semen is a performance enhancer (and available in many tasty flavors)

According to AOL News, several professional athletes in New Zealand, including rugby players, are using horse ejaculate as a performance enhancer to help them on the field. Horse semen is so popular among athletes in New Zealand that it is being promoted as a “healthy energy booster” made from the “protein” of a stallion.

In fact, the horsee semen is now going to be marketed to the general public in New Zealand starting with the Wildwoods Festival next month. There is one slight problem. Apparently, horse semen tastes awful. The company debuting the “delicacy” believes they’ve come up with a solution. They are flavoring the semen to make it more like a “milkshake.” Semen flavors include cherry, licorice, and banana “banoffee pie.”