A soccer player was reportedly hospitalized for five days after being injured in an incident of “horesplay” with his teammates. During a drunken postgame party, the 37-year-old Welsh midfielder mooned his teammates-one of whom promptly stuck a pool cue up his ass. The player suffered “severe” injuries and was in the hospital for five days.
Via Yahoo!
Apparently, you get what you pay for. There are several reports, including in Newsweek via Twitter, that the nation of Qatar was awarded the 2022 World Cup only after massively bribing FIFA officials. Qatar allegedly paid World Cup Selection Committee members $10 million apiece.
FIFA head Sepp Blatter had already come under fire after telling gay soccer fans to refrain from sex while visiting Qatar.
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MARADONA: A BIG CHE GUEVERA FAN
For a guy who’s made and spent so much money, crazed soccer legend Diego Maradona is certainly an anti-capitalist. Maradona was sacked as the coach of Argentina following 4-0 quarterfinal loss to Germany in the World Cup earlier this year.
Now, Maradona has a backup plan. He’s lobbying for the head coaching job for the Iranian national soccer team. Reports in the Iranian media have Maradona meeting with President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad soon.
This would be an example of why English soccer fans are called HOOLIGANS. According to several stories in the British press, an “angry mob” converged outside the home of Manchester United player Wayne Rooney last night. The crowd had gathered after finding out that Rooney may be switching clubs to rival Manchester City. Chants of, “Join Man City and you die!” rained down on Rooney (who WAS in the house at the time.)
Rooney apparently wants out after Manchester United’s douchebag American owner Malcolm Glazer bankrupted the team and ran the once-proud franchise into the ground. Another report said the mob actually spray painted Rooney’s garage and held up a sign reading, “If you join City you’re dead.” All of this despite the fact that fans used to love Rooney so much that his cousin was once paid to pose topless based solely on the fact that she was related to the famous striker. Natalie Rooney even had a feature article written about her new breast implants. Even Rooney’s hookers have become famous and tabloid fodder.
RANDOM EXCUSE TO RUN NATALIE ROONEY PICTURE
MONICA MINT
British tabloids are going crazy running photos of the prostitute that slept with popular soccer player Wayne Rooney. Rooney had sex with Monica Mint while his girlfriend was eight months pregnant.
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BRUNO SOUZA
Star Brazilian goalie Bruno has been formally charged with murder following the disappearance of his former girlfriend Eliza Samudio.
Tipped by the goalie’s cousin, authorities say Bruno Souza had Samudio strangled, chopped into pieces and fed to a pack of dogs. He apparently watched the entire gruesome execution which was conducted by a former Brazilian police officer.
ELIZA SAMUDIO: WAS ALLEGEDLY MURDERED, HACKED INTO PIECES AND FED TO DOGS
LARISSA RIQUELME
Large-breasted Paraguayan model Larissa Riquelme finally made good on her World Cup promise. The busty World Cup hero said she would back her team by running the streets naked if Paraguay made it to the World Cup Finals.
Unfortunately, Paraguay was eliminated. However, Risquelme showed her support by baring all in the British tabloid the DailyMail.
