Want to see a parody ad featuring David Stern wielding a bloody chain saw? Today’s your lucky day

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Hilarious NBA Lockout parody ads courtesy of the good people at Basketball Jones.

Stan Van Gundy calls David Stern a “tyrant” and NBA commish responds in tyrannical fashion

STAN VAN GUNDY

Did Orlando Magic coach Stan Van Gundy really just compare NBA commissioner David Stern to Muammar Gaddafi? Yup.

A frustrated Van Gundy blasted Stern “and his minions” after center Dwight Howard, his star player, was suspended one game for picking up his 16th technical foul of the season. Van Gundy said earlier this week,

“This is the system David Stern and his minions like, so that’s the system you have. I certainly can’t have an opinion because David Stern, like a lot of leaders we’ve seen in this world lately, don’t really tolerate other people’s opinion or free speech or anything. So I’m not really allowed to have an opinion.”

Snap! Stern countered by saying he was going to talk to the Magic about Van Gundy’s “aberrant” behavior. Stern further predicted, “We’re not going to be hearing from him for the rest of the season.” The Commish also took a personal shot at Stan Van saying, “I see somebody whose team isn’t performing, whose star player is suspended, who seems to be fraying.”

NBA IS SERIOUS ABOUT CUTTING COSTS

The National Basketball Association may be headed towards labor Armageddon. Forget the status quo, NBA commissioner David Stern flat out stated Thursday he wanted to trim player salaries by about a third to save about $750-800 million dollars.

Ken Berger of CBS Sports also claims the league is deadly serious about gassing some of its weakest link teams. The Charlotte Bobcats, Minnesota Timberwolves, Milwaukee Bucks and particularly the Memphis Grizzlies have already been floated as possible candidates for contraction. Other NBA parasites like the Toronto Raptors and L.A. Clippers are also in trouble. You can also forget about the NBA expanding to new cities like Las Vegas with the brutal economy. That may also spell doom to formerly viable franchises like the Sacramento Kings who can’t get a new arena.

Players are bracing for brutal givebacks or an inevitable lockout for the 2011-12 NBA season. The league claims it will lose between $340 and $350 million this upcoming season. Among the proposed money-saving solutions is a hard salary cap, specifically designed by whiny sore loser teams who now want to break up the Miami Heat after they secured ALL of the available free agent talent this offseason. However, a hard cap would guarantee the breakup of every successful, profitable team in the league. Under a hard salary cap, the Los Angeles Lakers and Miami Heat would be destroyed and those are the only franchises selling tickets, making money and creating a buzz.

The NBA is so adament about getting givebacks from the players union that they’ve apparently already set a lockout date. ESPN is reporting that date is July 3, 2011. Chris Sheridan of ESPN.com is reporting there is a “30-40 percent” chance of a lockout.

WRITER IMPLIES DAVID STERN IS RACIALLY INSENSITIVE-ON NBA’S OFFICIAL LEAGUE WEBSITE!

 

DAVID STERN: DOESN’T EXACTLY COME ACROSS AS ABRAHAM LINCOLN IN LATEST DAVID ALDRIDGE ARTICLE

Gee, I guess this is why David Aldridge keeps getting fired. It’s also what makes him a great writer and reporter.

In an item in his column entitled “The Morning Tip” today, Aldridge calls for the suspension of NBA owner Donald Sterling and relates an unflattering anecdote about NBA commissioner David Stern, portraying  him as racially insensitive. What’s stunning about Aldridge’s article is that it appears on the league’s OFFICIAL WEBSITE, NBA.com.

Aldridge tells the story of how Stern once asked him why he thought so many black women had children out of wedlock. The TNT broadcaster says he didn’t ascribe anything “sinister” to the conversation at the time. Now, however, in light of Stern’s NOT suspending Sterling following his recent record civil rights fine, Aldridge says “the discussion seems more telling.”

DAVID ALDRIDGE

Last week, Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling paid the Justice Department the largest housing discrimination fine in U.S. history. Over the weekend, we wrote about how NOBODY was even mentioning the story of Sterling’s discrimination fine.

Remember the controversy over talk show host Rush Limbaugh possibly owning the St. Louis Rams a couple of weeks ago? Compare his FICTICIOUS quotes to the quotes actually made by Sterling, which Aldridge reprints in his Tuesday column. Sterling’s are fare worse AND he actually said them. The quotes come from the court documents in a civil lawsuit filed against Sterling by tenants of the Ardmore apartments in Los Angeles. Sterling told a property supervisor the Ardmore smelled badly:

“because of all the blacks in this building, they smell, they’re not clean. And it’s because of all the Mexicans that just sit around and smoke and drink all day.”

The Justice Department sued Sterling for housing discrimination. Sterling admitted his guilt by settling and paying the largest housing discrimination fine in U.S. history. Sterling claims he’s not a racist and notes that he was given a “Lifetime Achievement Award” by the Los Angeles branch of the NAACP. He literally bought the award. Sterling also points out that he gives Clippers tickets to thousands of underpriveleged black children. Aldridge writes, “That’s great. Can they live at the Ardmore?”

 

NOTED RACIST DONALD STERLING: SHOWN HERE IN A RARE PHOTO OF HIM ACTUALLY TOUCHING A “SMELLY” BLACK PERSON

TOUGH ECONOMIC TIMES HIT SPORTS AS NBA LAYS OFF 80 STAFFERS

DAVID STERN

These are tough economic times. First came layoffs of bunnies at the Playboy Mansion, now comes word that the National Basketball Association is laying off nine percent of its workforce.

In an interview with Reuters, NBA commissioner David Stern said that translates into about 80 people losing their jobs in the U.S. Stern cited the country’s economic downturn for the league’s “belt tightening.”