Tebow gets more scoreboard on Jesus: Now has his own comic book

It’s a miracle.

Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow is now officially a superhero. Tebow just signed a deal with Marvel Comics to be featured in his own comic book. No, it’s not called  ”Super Christian.”

It’s official: Tim Tebow has now performed more miracles than Jesus

Another Sunday, another miracle win for the Denver Broncos and quarterback Tim Tebow. This is truly getting ridiculous. For the seventh time in eight weeks since he became Denver’s starting quarterback, the sixth time in a row, in fact, Tebow has pulled out a last minute victory in some form of miraculous win. Most of those games have followed the same script-Tebow sucks and can’t pass for three quarters, then SOMEHOW pulls off a miracle come-from-behind victory. 

Yesterday may have been Tebow and the Broncos most Christ-like rise from the dead yet. Denver was on its way to certain defeat (despite another Tebow last-minute td drive.) The Chicago Bears were running out the clock for a certain win when some (devine?) voice told running back Marion Barber to run out of bounds. Granted a few seconds reprieve, Tebow drove Denver down the field where they hit a 59 yard field goal to send the game into overtime. The Bears took the opening drive in OT down the field and appeared to be in position to twarth another Tebow miracle, but BARBER fumbled the ball, the latest victim to literally be smited by Tebow. The rest is history. Denver gets the ball and drives down for a winning OT field goal.

Denver now leads the AFC West by two games after literally being written off for dead. Ironically, Tebow’s most amazing win came on the same day that three major newspapers wrote articles praising Tebow, not as a quarterback, but as a cultural icon. The New York Times had an editorial about Tebow and the “Gospel of Optimism.” Meanwhile, the Christian Science Monitor had a feature on “The Tim Tebow culture wars.”

All of this came at the same time that The Wall Street Journal was writing about Tebow’s multitude of saintly charity deeds. The article actually refers to him as “God’s Quarterback.” Those charity works go all the way back to Tebow’s school days when he would spend Spring Break circumcising orphans for his father’s missionary program called “Gain Salvation, Lose Your Foreskin.”

Keep in mind that all three of those articles were written BEFORE Sunday’s win.

Tebowing for Dummies

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Yes, there’s a Tim Tebow statue in Florida

LAURENCE MARONEY MUG SHOT OF THE YEAR

LAURENCE MARONEY

COACHES STANDOFF: CHIEFS TODD HALEY REFUSES TO SHAKE HANDS WITH BRONCOS JOSH MCDANIEL

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TIM TEBOW SCORES FIRST NFL TD

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TIM TEBOW’S ROOKIE HAZING HAIRCUT LEADS TO GREATEST WEEKLY WORLD NEWS STORY IN A DECADE

 

So, have you heard? Super Christian qb Tim Tebow is converting to Judaism. It’s true. It was a feature article in the Weekly World News.

THAT’S a publication with a great history of breaking big stories. Here’s a list of some of their other journalistic milestones:

LIMITED EDITION TEBOW SHOES SELL OUT IN FIVE MINUTES

Nike offered a limited number of special Tim Tebow shoes starting Friday morning at 1:50 a.m. Every one of the 500 pairs of blue and orange shoes sold out within five minutes.

The shoes are now selling for at least $1,000 online.

PHOTOS FROM TIM TEBOW SIGNING AS UNDERWEAR MODEL

TIM TEBOW

Denver Broncos rookie quarterback has signed an endorsement deal with the underwear company Jockey. This is apparently better than Tebow’s last t-shirt deal: