NOLAN CARROLL LAID OUT ON SIDELINE BY CHEAP SHOT BY JETS COACH
Before Sunday you probably had no idea who the strength and conditioning coach of the New York Jets was. Today, he’s a household name. An embarrassed Sal Alosi had to make a public apology after being caught on tape tripping Miami Dolphins player Nolan Carroll on a live play in Sunday’s game.
SAL ALOSI
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RICKY WILLIAMS AT HOOTERS
Miami Dolphins defensive end Kendall Langford is the laughing stock of the National Football League today. Langford became the butt of jokes after losing a $50,000 diamond earring at Dolphins practice Wednesday. Even teammates bemoaned the loss of Lankford’s “fat diamond.”
KENDALL LANKFORD: BEFORE
Langford forgetting to take his 2.5 carat diamond out of his ear before practice has made him an international joke. British tabloids and Sky News prominantly featured Lankford’s fat ass searching the grass for his diamond.
PHILLIP MERLING
Miami Dolphins defensive lineman Phillip Merling has been formally charged with punching his pregnant girlfriend in the face. Merling was arrested in Broward County, Florida in May on felony battery charges over the incident.
JEFF IRELAND
NFL front office types are out of control. They are so worried about the “character” of potential players they choose in the draft that they are rapidly losing their own.
Yahoo! Sports recently ran a story which revealed that one NFL executive actually asked rookie wide receiver Dez Bryant of Oklahoma State if his mother was a prostitute. Tuesday, Miami Dolphins GM Jeff Ireland admitted he was the NFL exec who asked Bryant if his mother was a ho. Bryant apparently resisted the urge to punch Ireland in the face. After first trying to cover his ass, Ireland has since apologized for the incident. Some columnists are now calling for Ireland to be suspended.
For the record, Bryant’s mother was never a prostitute. Ms. Bryant says she dealt drugs in her youth and is currently a lesbian.
Bryant wasn’t the only prospective player asked a stupid question by an NFL club. Tampa Bay reportedly asked Florida State db Myron Rolle why he “abandoned” his team to pursue a Rhodes Scholarship in England. Stanford’s Toby Gerhart was asked if he felt “entitled” because he’s a white running back.
ANGELA BRYANT
PAT WHITE
Miami backup quarterback Pat White, who was a huge part of the team installing the Wildcat offense, is apparently unhappy over the Dolphins efforts to move him to wide receiver. White is so unhappy that he may be considering switching sports and becoming a baseball player.
As is becoming the norm in sports today, White broke the story himself on his new Twitter page.
RICKY WILLIAMS IN HIS HOSPITAL WHITES
In an interview on the Dan Patrick Radio Show Friday, Dolphins running back Ricky Williams said he plans on becoming a doctor within the next ten years.
SERENA WILLIAMS: THE NEW FACE OF THE MIAMI DOLPHINS
Tennis stars Venus and Serena Williams have become part owners of the NFL’s Miami Dolphins. The pair are the first African-American women to have an ownership stake in an NFL football team.
SERENA AND VENUS WILLIAMS
