Posts Tagged ‘Miami Heat’

LeBron James making run at title “Most Despised Athlete in World History”

June 14, 2011

DWYANE WADE AND LEBRON JAMES CAN NO LONGER SHOW THEIR FACES IN PUBLIC

It’s bad enough that LeBron James has gone from The Chosen One to the most certified choke artist in sports history. That’s hardly surprising considering his continuous and endless string of tank job performances in The NBA Finals. Particularly, in the fourth quarter. However, now, unbelievably, James is turning more and more unlikeable. As even comedians like Stephen Colbert have pointed out, nobody roots for the “overdog” any more.

At the Game Six postgame press conference on Sunday, James was asked if it bothered him that so many people hated his guts. James, who had just virtually singlehandedly choked away an NBA Championship, had an interesting response. He answered the question by blasting everybody who makes less money than him which, of course, would be 99.99999999999999999 percent of the human race.

 LeBron chided the haters by pointing out that, although he doesn’t have a ring, when he wakes up tomorrow he’ll still be living the good life. Meanwhile, his brokeass critics will still be living their shitty little lives and be in the “real world.”

Watch the video below and prepare to be appalled.

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Shock stat: Heat/Bulls Game 1 was highest rated NBA cable game in history

May 17, 2011

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Crying game continues in Miami

March 8, 2011

LEBRON JAMES: HAS CRIED BEFORE

There may be “No Crying in Baseball,” but there certainly is in the NBA. At least in Miami.

The basketball story that just won’t die is “Crygate.” Members of the Miami Heat were reportedly in tears following a loss to the Chicago Bulls on Sunday. The Heat have lost four games in a row. They are 1-9 in games against teams with a .700 record or better.

Heat coach Erik Spoelstra was the guy who originally revealed, “there are a couple guys crying in the locker room right now.” Spoelstra made those comments on Sunday. He is now backtracking and blaming the media.

Miami big man Chris Bosh has been particularly singled out for his softness lately. However, LeBron James has also been taking a pounding in the local as well as national media. New York Knicks players Amare Stoudemire and Carmelo Anthony openly mocked the crying Heat players (although they were defended by Los Angeles Lakers crazy man Ron Artest.) There are even those conspiracy theorists who believe the “crying” incident never happened.

STILL MORE REASONS TO HATE LEBRON JAMES

January 4, 2011

LEBRON JAMES BIRTHDAY CAKE

Are you one of the few people on earth who does not yet hate basketball player LeBron James? Here’s a couple more opportunities to reevaluate your position.

Nothing says “I’m a douche” more than a 12-foot high monogrammed birthday cake with a crown on top of it. Unless you bought the cake for YOURSELF, for a party you charged people to get into, then Tweeted a picture of said cake. LeBron did get shut out trying to find a $500,000 sponsor to pay him for an 11 city “birthday tour.”

Need another reason to hate LeBron? Apparently he and his minions got the awesome Stanford Band dis-invited from last night’s Orange Bowl. According to MSNBC, Orange Bowl “administrators” decided to bar the Stanford Marching Unit Team (a.k.a. SMUT) from performing at halftime of the game. They reportedly were afraid that the band would do one of their famous parody hit pieces after they they announced that their halftime show would feature “Recent Events in the Pro Sports World in Miami.”

Geeze, I wonder who that might be mocking? Previous Stanford Band objects of mockery include “tributes” to USC alums O.J. Simpson (featuring a wheeled out white van covered in bloody hand prints), and Girls Gone Wild founder/“Douche of the Decade” Joe Francis. During the Francis tribute the band announced to the crowd, “It takes a special kind of man to be wanted for sexual harassment, drug trafficking, tax evasion, prostitution, child abuse and disruptive flatulence.” The Stanford Band has also been banned by Notre Dame after they once used a giant crucifix as a baton.

The world was denied a classic performance because Miami city officials were afraid one of the town’s athletes would be mocked and ridiculed. Boo!!!

CLEVELAND SUCKS

December 3, 2010

Thursday night was a bad day to be from Cleveland. In his mega-hyped return, former Ohio hero LeBron James, now the most hated man in C-town history, made his return to play against his former team the Cleveland Cavaliers. Things didn’t work out so well for Cleveland.

James and his new Miami Heat team spanked the Cavaliers so badly that the sellout crowd, that had wanted to explode, ended up spending most of the game in stunned silence. Final score: Miami 118 Cleveland 90. James finished with 38 points in just three quarters. He outscored the Cavaliers entire starting lineup.

The Cavaliers were so pathetic that SI writer Ian Thomsen says James turned the entire city of Cleveland, their owner, players, and fans into “victims.” After the game James was such a “preening dickhead” that Fox Sports columnist Jason Whitlock  called him a “lost cause.” Whitlock said he was giving up on James because of “the classless way he exited the city” of Cleveland. James also got killed in a variety of national chatrooms.

BOSH BASH

November 17, 2010

 

CHRIS BOSH: HAS NOT BEEN ABLE TO “COWBOY UP” FOR THE MIAMI HEAT

Opponents are lining up to bash Miami Heat big man Chris Bosh like a pinata now that he’s down. With the talented Heat featuring LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, Bosh et al off to an unbelievably pedestrian 5-4 start, critics are slamming the former Toronto Raptor as “soft.”

The Canadian media has been absolutely gleeful after longtime New York Post rumormonger Pete Vecsey quoted Denver Nuggets star Carmelo Anthony as chirping, “I’m not Chris Bosh.” Melo went on to say he will be “straight up” and not do his former team the way Bosh left the Raptors if he leaves Denver.

Meanwhile, an NBA scout blasted Bosh as soft for averaging just over 6 rebounds per game with Miami. The scout called that figure “pathetic” for an athlete of Bosh’s size and abilities.

What’s the moral of the Chris Bosh story? Careful what you wish for. Bosh said he went to Miami so that all of his games would “be on tv.” Now, he’s wilting under the spotlight.

LEBRON JAMES IN HELL THIS SEASON

November 12, 2010

 

LEBRON AND THE HEAT ARE 5-4 AND BEING BEATEN BY OPPONENTS AND CRITICS LIKE A PINATA

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

When The Three Kings arrived via free agency this offseason it was supposed to make the Miami Heat this unbeatable juggernaut of an NBA team. Some experts predicted a 70-win team that would make a run at the best record in league history. Instead, LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh have combined to make the Heat a mediocre NBA team. At least so far this young season.

After a loss Thursday night, the Heat are a shockingly unimpressive 5-4. Worse, they are universally being labeled as “soft.” There is already talk of NBA legend Pat Riley leaving the front office and returning as coach to replace Erik Spoelstra.

CHRIS BOSH IS POSTERIZED BY A GUARD, RAJON RONDO

DWYANE WADE DRESSES AS WHITE GUY FOR HALLOWEEN

November 2, 2010

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“IT’S ALL ABOUT BEING ON TV”

October 31, 2010

The Canadian media is pissed, but Miami Heat power forward Chris Bosh has flat out admitted he changed basketball teams this offseason soley for the exposure.

Bosh told a group of Canadian writers he left the Toronto Raptors because, “Really, it’s all about being on tv at the end of the day.” Bosh added, “A guy can average 20 and 10 (points and rebounds), and nobody really cares. If you don’t see it (on U.S. national television), then it doesn’t really happen.”

Bosh joined LeBron James and Dwyane Wade signing with the Miami Heat this offseason. The Heat play the maximum allowable number of games on ABC, ESPN and TNT. The Heat season opener set the all-time ratings record for TNT Tuesday. Their game against the Boston Celtics was the most watched NBA game in cable television history.

LEBRON JAMES MOTIVATED BY “HATERS” ON TWITTER

October 20, 2010

Miami Heat star LeBron James proclaimed Wednesday “Hater Day” on his Twitter page. James says he is motivated by the Tweets that “haters” send to him.

One post called James a “fraud.” Another Tweet referred to James as a “bitch” because of his decision to leave the Cleveland Cavaliers. James even released one Tweet he received that was completely racist, calling him “a big nosed big lipped bug eyed N****.”


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