Posts Tagged ‘Pittsburgh Pirates’

End of the baseball world? Pittsburgh Pirates in first place

July 19, 2011

As of Monday, the Pitsburgh Pirates are in first place in the National League Central Division. How unlikely is that? Well, the Pirates have not made the playoffs since 1992. That was 19 years ago. It was the year Bill Clinton was first elected president. Boys II Men was the world’s top musical act. George Michael, Vanessa Williams, Right Said Fred and Billy Ray Cyrus were at the top of the charts. Bohemian Rapsody by Queen was a Top-40 hit. In 1992 Marlene Dietrich and Lawrence Welk were still alive.

The Pirates are 50-44. That’s just seven less wins than the team had all of last season and it’s one week past the All-Star break. The Pirates have overturned more than half the players on its 25-man roster and the team had three members of the National League All-Star team (outfielder Andrew McCutchen and pitchers Kevin Correia and Joel Hanrahan.) Three All-Stars is the most Pittsburgh has had since 1990 when Bobby Bonds and Bobby Bonilla were with the club, 22 seasons ago.

It’s amazing to note that this is the first time since 20 seasons ago that the Pittsburgh has even been a contender, let alone a legitimate playoff team. The Pirates have been so bad that they haven’t spent a single day over .500 after the All-Star break since 1992. They’ve had 18 straight losing seasons. They’ve also had 10 seasons of finishing dead last in their division. This makes the Pittsburgh Pirates the losingest team in American sports history.

ANARCHISTS, COMMIES, AND SUCKAGE COMBINE TO KILL PIRATES ATTENDANCE

September 25, 2009

 

The usual collection of protesters,anarchists and retards have shown up at the G20 Summit. The current meeting is being held in Pittsburgh. Far from being a boon to the local economy, the conference has killed all business in the downtown area. That includes the Pittsburgh Pirates baseball team.

Yesterday, a reporter for the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette blogged that there were less than 200 people in the park at the start of Thursday’s Pirates/Reds game. He even posted pictures descibing the scene saying, “There is absolutely no one in the vicinity of anything on the downtown perimeter. There are no cars, taxis, buses, nothing…”

 

 

Maybe the empty downtown was because Pittsburgh police had just tear gassed a group of people including a CNN reporter. Maybe it was because the Pirates suck and have lost 22 of their last 25 games. In any event, attendance was so bad that the Pirates closed off the entire upper deck of their stadium for the game.

 

Even the stadium’s parking lot was virtually empty.

 

THE PITTSBURGH PIRATES MUST HATE THEIR FANS

July 27, 2009

 

The Pittsburgh Pirates announced a “You Score as the Bucs Score”  promotion over the weekend.

For every run the baseball team scored in its weekend series against Arizona, the Pirates were going to take $1 off the price of its left and right field box seats for an upcoming series against the pathetic Washington Nationals. Those tickets ordinarily go for $24.

Of course, Pittsburgh got shut out in back-to-back games against the Diamondbacks on Saturday and Sunday, 7-0 and 9-0, thus saving their fans $0 for the two games.

RINKU AND DINESH APPEAR IN FIRST GAME

July 5, 2009

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RINKU SINGH AND DINESH PATEL

Two pitchers who got their minor league jobs with the Pittsburgh Pirates by winning a reality tv show in India, made their professional baseball debuts on July 4th. Both Rinku Singh and Dinesh Patel each pitched an inning for the Gulf Coast League Bradenton Pirates.

Patel had a perfect, scoreless inning. Singh fave up a run.

RINKU AND DINESH READY FOR PRO BASEBALL DEBUTS

July 1, 2009

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RINKU SINGH AND DINESH PATEL

Pitchers Rinku Singh and Dinesh Patel won a reality tv show in India to get professional baseball contracts with the Pittsburgh Pirates. Now, the two are ready to make their professional baseball debuts. The pair have been featured on this website previously after being the victims of an incredibly racist headline in a British tabloid following their signing.

Singh and Patel have been assigned to the Pirates Rookie League affililiate in Bradenton of the Gulf Coast League. They have reportedly been working out with former Texas Rangers pitching coach Tom House. House personally worked with Nolan Ryan while he was with the Rangers. He was also a personal pitching coach for Randy Johnson.

WIFE OF PIRATES ROOKIE OUTFIELDER SUSPECTED OF KIDNAPPING

March 25, 2009

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JOSE TABATA

In a bizarre case, the wife of Pittsburgh Pirates prospect Jose Tabata has been arrested in Florida following the abduction of a two-month-old girl.

Tabata’s wife is suspected of abducting the little girl from a Plant City health clinic by impersonating an immigration official. She was arrested in possession of the child.

Among the many strange aspects of the case is that Tabata’s wife is 43-years-old while he is just 20. Also, Mrs. Tabata served time in prison on arson charges and has at least three aliases.

 

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AMALIA TABATA PEREIRA

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MRS. TABATA’S PERP WALK

THE TIMES OF LONDON REFERS TO PITCHERS FROM INDIA AS “SPEARCHUCKERS”

December 27, 2008

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RINKU SINGH: REFERRED TO BY RACIST SLUR

The newspaper The Times of London made an incredibly unfortunate choice of words in its Saturday online edition. The paper actually referred to two pitchers that come from India as “spearchuckers.”

We had written about the travails of pitchers Rinku Singh and Dinesh Patel on this very blog over a month ago. The two won professional baseball contracts with the Pittsburgh Pirates after appearing on a reality tv show in India.

The exact headline used by The Times of London was, “Pittsburgh Pirates snap up Indian spearchuckers.” As of mid-Saturday morning British time the headline remained unchanged. You don’t exactly have to go to the Urban Dictionary to find the term used by The Times as offensive. The dictionary lists the definition of “spear chucker” as an “offensive” and “slang” term that refers to black people.

DOCK ELLIS DEAD AT 63

December 20, 2008

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DOCK ELLIS

Former Major League Baseball pitcher Dock Ellis died Friday. He was 63.

Ellis was one of  baseball’s most colorful figures during the ’70s. He won 19 games for the World Champion Pittsburgh Pirates in 1971 and also started the All-Star Game for the National League that year.

Ellis is known for 1) throwing a no-hitter against the Padres while under the influence of LSD and 2) driving Pirates manager Danny Murtaugh insane for wearing pink hair curlers (see above photo) while warming up in the Pirates bullpen.

THE PITTSBURGH PIRATES HAVE CORNERED THE MARKET ON PITCHERS FROM INDIA

November 25, 2008

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RINKU SINGH AND DINESH PATEL

Several articles about the two newest pitchers signed by the Pittsburgh Pirates referred to the duo as having “million dollar arms.” Of course, since they’re the Pirates, it cost them just $2,500 for a “million dollar” arm.

Monday the Pirates signed pitchers Rinku Singh and Dinesh Patel. The two become the first professional baseball players in the history of the nation of India.

Singh and Patel were winners of a reality tv show in India which sought some of the country’s top athletes and tried to turn them into pitchers. More than 30,000 men from India tried out for the show. Both Singh and Patel pushed 90 mph on the radar gun. Singh ended up winning the show and the $100,000 prize for first place. He didn’t throw hard enough to earn the show’s million dollar bonus. Patel got $2,500 and a plane ticket to America.

Singh is a cricket player. Patel throws the javelin. The two traveled to America to live, work out and train. Both threw in front of approximately 20 Major league scouts earlier this month. They both reportedly threw in the low 90 mph range.

The reality tv show was sponsored by a company of sports agents in California who believed they could locate Major League caliber arms in a nation of one billion people. Singh and Patel are literally 1 and 2 out of a billion. There are one billion people in India. Currently untapped, some experts feel it will be the next geographic region to produce a wealth of MLB players.

 

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YUTA TABUSE BECAME THE FIRST JAPANESE-BORN PLAYER IN NBA HISTORY

Singh and Patel are longshots to ever make it to the majors. How long of a shot? Consider, neither has ever PLAYED IN A BASEBALL GAME IN THEIR LIVES. Think of them as the Yuta Tabuses of baseball. (Tabuse was the 5’9″ point guard from Japan who tried to play in the NBA.) The NBA thought it could expand into the Japanese market by signing Tabuse. It never worked out, but at least Tabuse played four games in the NBA with the Phoenix Suns in 2004.

Not only are Sigh and Patel unlikely to ever make it to the majors, they may not ever play minor league baseball. The two will probably spend next year in extended spring training. They are arguably the rawest prospects in major League history.

 

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RINKU SINGH: THROWS 90 MPH


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