I have to admit I was a little confused when I read the latest headline on ESPN.com this afternoon. It read, “Merriman accused of choking girlfriend Tequila.”
I originally thought it meant that San Diego Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman was yet another NFL player who commited violence against women. This time while he was drinking his adult beverage of choice. As in, “Merriman accused of choking girlfriend. Tequila!”
Nope. Turns out Merriman is actually dating reality tv slut, Tila Tequila. For those of you over 30, who don’t have cable or a MySpace account, Tequila is probably the most promiscuous woman in America. Certainly the most promiscuous woman who has ever been given her own reality television show. If Shawne Merriman thinks he’s “dating” Tila Tequila, I’ve got a newsflash for him: Dude, she’s NOT your “girlfriend.” It’s more like “Girlfriend Experience.”
The only difference between Tila Tequila and a prostitute is that most hookers probably have less sexual partners in a year than she does and probably remember SOME of the guys they have sex with on multiple occassions. Seriously. Tila Tequila conservatively has sex with 250 people a year including every man AND woman who appears on her tv show. It’s in her contract. I’m sure if they put an animal on “A Shot of Love” next season Tila Tequila would probably have sex with it. She PROMOTES herself as the biggest slut in television. The only time her publicists ever denied ANYTHING that Tequila ever did was when they put out the press release to deny rumors that she was “heterosexual.” If Shawne Merriman thinks he has some type of exclusive rights, he needs to put down the steroids and punch himself in the face.
TILA TEQUILA TRYING TO REFUTE THOSE “SHE’S STRAIGHT” RUMORS