Posts Tagged ‘UFL’

THAT’D BE ONE WAY TO GO

November 11, 2010

The president of the Fortune 500 company TD Ameritrade has been named the new football coach of the UFL’s Virginia Destroyers. Joe Moglia had been a defensive coordinator on Ivy League championship teams at Dartmouth. However, hed hadn;t coached at any level since 1982.

There’s a pretty good reason for Moglia’s abscence from football. He was busy handling billions of dollars. Moglia became a Wall Street tycoon at Merrill Lynch. He eventually left that firm and became the CEO at TD Ameritrade-the third largest broker in the U.S.

Although still the company’s president, Moglia resigned as CEO from TD Ameritrade to serve as an “unpaid adviser” to Nebraska football coach Bo Pelini. Moglia has been the Huskers “life skills and leadership consultant.”

Joe.Moglia.jpg

JOE MOGLIA

WEIRDEST UFL COMMERCIAL EVER

September 17, 2010

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TALE OF TWO DEVIANTS

August 30, 2010

MAURICE CLARETT: OUT OF PRISON UNIFORM AND INTO UFL ONE

TONY WASHINGTON: MAY NEVER WEAR ANY UNIFORM SHORT OF BURGER KING’S

This is a story of two of football’s biggest pariahs. One, who was widely recognized as the most famously disgraced college athlete in history, just spent a couple of years in prison after being an armed robber. The other was skipped in this year’s NFL Draft and is known as “dude who raped his own sister.” Both are seeking redemption and shots at professional football.

Maurice Clarett, a running back, had one of the greatest freshman seasons in the history of college football. He ran for 1,237 yards and scored a school record 18 touchdowns while leading Ohio State to the 2002 BCS Championship. Clarett then scored the game-winning td in the Fiesta Bowl. However, after the game, Clarett declared for the NFL Draft. Unfortunately, he wasn’t eligible to play in the NFL until after his junior season. Clarett also lost his college eligibility after declaring for the draft. Following a couple of unsuccessful court rulings, Clarett spent two years in limbo before getting a shot with the NFL’s Denver Broncos. He promptly washed out and was cut in training camp. Faced with a bleak future, Clarett turned to a life of crime. He robbed an Ohio couple at gunpoint, became known as “The Grey Goose Bandit,” and was involved in one of the most famous running back/police chases this side of O.J. Clarett was eventually convicted of armed robbery and spent 3 1/2 years in prison where he reached new lows as a blogger.

CLARETT ARRESTED

MAURICE CLARETT’S PASSENGER SEAT THE DAY OF HIS ARREST

However, Clarett’s story may have a happy ending. He was just released from prison and allowed to sign a professional football contract with the UFL’s Omaha Nighthawks. Clarett will at least get the CHANCE to play professional football this season. Tony Washington may never get that chance.

Washington was a star offensive tackle at Abilene Christian last season. Following a brilliant showing at the combine and going into the 2010 NFL Draft, Washington was projected as a secound round draft pick. Instead, Washington became football’s most notorious registered sex offender after word leaked out that he had been convicted of raping his own 15-year-old sister. Washington then went undrafted and no team signed him as a free agent.

Last week, ESPN The Magazine ran a mildly positive piece entitled “Unforgiven” on Washington. Written by a female reporter, the article explains how the sex between Washington and his sister was consensual and a one-time thing done mainly out of the boredom of living in Mississippi. Still sickening and taboo, but it doesn’t exactly portray Washington as the “rapist” he was presented as. The ESPN piece even reports that fact that even though they had sex, Washington and sister “never kissed.” Ick!!!!

Still, wary NFL teams have fled from the prospect of having a registered sex offender in camp.Washington never got a job offer from an NFL team. Even the UFL, which just signed Clarett, has treated Washington as radioactive.

CONFIRMED: NANCY PELOSI’S HUSBAND IS A MORON

December 1, 2009

Here’s the biggest number in the history of the UFL: the fledgling United Football League lost $30 million this year.

In October, we posted an article detailing how out of touch with reality California Redwoods owner Paul Pelosi was. Pelosi is the San Francisco investment banker who spent $12 million of his own money to buy the Redwoods. He is also the husband of U.S. Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. Pelosi had told the Washington Post that he planned to TRIPLE his money buying the Redwoods. Instead, Mike Florio of Pro Football Talk says the Redwoods may be looking to move next season.

SportsBusiness Journal originally reported the $30 million figure.

PAUL PELOSI

BAD NEWS AND BAD NEWS FOR VERSUS TV RATINGS

October 11, 2009

 

The tv ratings are in for the debut of the new United Football League on VERSUS. They’re not good. In fact, they’re awful. Thursday’s inaugural game between the Las Vegas Locos and the California Redwoods drew a 0 share. Actually, the ratings were 0.25. Apparently, J.P. Losman isn’t the ratings draw the league was hoping for.

All kidding aside, there’s even worse news for VERSUS. As bad as the ratings for the UFL were, their hockey numbers were even worse. The UFL actually put out a press release bragging about their ratings numbers in the 18-40 demo. They were 0.29. Those are the types of numbers that get your network dropped by DirecTV.

UFL TICKET SALES VIRTUALLY NONEXISTENT

October 7, 2009

File:Las Vegas Locos logo.png

The Las Vegas Locomotives have sold only 5,000 tickets to the inaugural game of the new United Football League. That doesn’t even compare favorably to the defunct XFL which averaged 25,000 fans per game.

Las Vegas opens their season Thursday night against the California Redwoods. The game will be televised on Versus.

 

UFL VEGAS BILLBOARD

NEW FOOTBALL LEAGUE UNVEILS ROSTERS

October 2, 2009

 J.P. LOSMAN

The rosters for the new United Football League have been posted online and there are punchlines galore for its fledgling season.

MANUEL WRIGHT PROBABLY CRIED WHEN HE WAS CUT BY LAS VEGAS

Start with the Las Vegas Locos. Their franchise player is hippie quarterback and former Buffalo Bills failure J.P. Losman. Poor Tim Rattay. The former 49er qb can’t even start in the UFL. In a local touch, former UNLV receiver Casey Fein made the Locos practice squad. One player who didn’t make the Las Vegas final roster was former USC defensive lineman Manuel Wright. Wright is famous as the player Nick Saban once made cry in Dolphins training camp. Former New York Giants coach Jim Fassel leads the Locos.

 

 

SIMEON RICE

The New York Sentinels roster does feature one genuine former NFL star in former All Pro defensive end Simeon Rice. Their quarterback is former Jacksonville Jaguars third-stringer Quinn Gray. Gray didn’t have much of an NFL career but did manage to create some controversy in Jacksonville. The Jaguars cracker fans whined about personnel guy James Harris keeping three African-American quarterbacks (Byron Leftwich, David Garrard and Quinn) one season. Sentinel coach Ted Cotrell also kept his son, T.J., on the club’s practice squad. Also on the New York roster is legendary NFL drunk Koren Robinson. Robinson once showed up to jail drunk to serve a DUI sentence. Robinson also once led police on a 100 mph drunk driving chase just days after ESPN Monday Night Football announcer Joe Theismann proclaimed on-the-air what a great guy he was and how much he had turned his life around.

TATUM BELL WAS SUCH A LEAGUEWIDE JOKE THAT FORMER TEAMMATE ROY WILLIAMS DRESSED UP AS HIM FOR THE LIONS HALLOWEEN PARTY LAST YEAR

The Florida Tuskers are also coached by a former NFL guy-Jim Haslett. At least he doesn’t have to put up with Losman as his quarterback. Haslett does however have a couple of the biggest morons in NFL history. Running back Tatum Bell exited the National Football League as thoroughly disgraced as any player EVER. Bell was cut by the pathetic Detroit Lions. While his replacement, Rudi Johnson, was in the office talking to the coach, Bell stole his luggage. Unfortunately for Bell, Lions security cameras caught him on tape stealing the luggage. He never played in the NFL again. Florida also chose to sign noted drunk, steroid user and all-around bad guy punter Todd Sauerbrun. Sauerbrun is the only punter in NFL history to flunk a drug test. Bell and Sauerbrun are such disgraces that the Tuskers signing of wife-beating running back Michael Pittman scarcely drew a notice.

JOHN DAVID WASHINGTON

The roster for the California Redwoods is fairly devoid of any real talented football players. However, it does include actor Denzel Washington’s kid, John David Washington. Also suiting up for the Redwoods is quarterback Mike McMahon (one of a zillion failed Matt Millen picks with the Detroit Lions) and wide receiver Bobby Sippio who was prominently featured in the HBO series “Hard Knocks” in 2007 when he played briefly for the Kansas City Chiefs. Former Florida State receiver and NFL burnout Peter Warrick was in training camp with California but is such a loser he was actually cut. Of course, the biggest name on the California team is their coach, former Vikings/Cardinals head man Dennis Green.

DENNIS GREEN


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