Archive for June, 2009

PAT BOONE JOINS THE “BIRTHERS”

June 30, 2009

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PAT BOONE

Pat Boone was a pop singer in the 1950’s. Currently, he writes a column for the conservative website Newsmax.com. In his current piece, Boone comes out of the closet. Not that closet. Boone reveals he’s a member of the “birther” movement-those who believe somehow that President Barack Obama was not born in the U.S.

Boone demands Obama produce his birth certificate. (Which, of course, he already has.) Boone’s column is dangerous in that it now drags the AARP set into the ridiculous birther “debate.” He is also still very actice in Christian television. Sure, you and I may not give a damn about what some loser septuagenerian thinks about Barack Obama’s birth certificate, but, believe it or not, Pat Boone does have a following. Boone has sold 45 million records. He’s had 38 Top 40 hits (including six number one singles.) He currently ranks #9 on the all-time Billboard charts, right behind the Rolling Stones and Paul McCartney. Elvis once opened FOR HIM.

Obviously, SOMEBODY bought all those albums. Sure, a lot of those people are now dead, but Boone was such a cultural icon that he starred in over a dozen movies and made the cover of the Super Man comic book.

 

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Boone also appeared on the cover of Time magazine, had a #1 best-selling book, was the star of a prime time network television show and served as the national spokesman for Chevrolet. You know, back when they were actually a SUCCESSFUL car company. Boone even got publicity in the late ’90s when he made a heavy metal album.

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In addition to his Newsmax column, Boone has attempted to interject himself in politics by also writing for Worldnetdaily.com and making anti-gay phone calls for political candidates.

 

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PAT BOONE

ANNA KOURNIKOVA IN VEGAS CATFIGHT

June 30, 2009

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ANNA KOURNIKOVA

Poor Anna Kournikova. She’s only 28 and already washed up both as a tennis player and a model.

Recently, the former tennis hottie got into a fight at Lavo at the Palazzo in Las Vegas. According to one report, it was a “big fight” that had Kournikova shoving another girl and receiving scratches on her neck.

MARK SANFORD PASSED “LOVE BOOT CAMP” WITH CUBBY

June 30, 2009

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GOV. MARK SANFORD WITH TWO OTHER PIGS

Philandering South Carolina governor Mark Sanford passed a “spiritual boot camp” for couples just a week before seperating from his wife. That according to “Cubby” Culbertson, who has been described as Sanford’s “spiritual adviser.”

DARREN DAULTON CLAIMS HE “HAS TAKEN MORE DRUGS” THAN ANYONE IN SPORTS

June 30, 2009

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DARREN DAULTON

Former Philadelphia Phillies All-Star catcher Darren Daulton is a walking quote machine. It must be from all the drugs he’s taken. In the past, Daulton has claimed the ability to travel through time and talk to lizards.

Daulton made another memorable appearance on Philadelphia sports talk radio Monday. The interview has been captured for posterity by Sportsradiointerviews.com. Daulton told host Mike Missanelli,

 

 

“I’ve been in rehab. I’ve been in jail…I can assure you there’s probably noone in any sport that has taken more drugs than I have and I think people still respect me. It’s not what goes in, it’s what comes out.”

 

 

Naturally, Internet sites are going nuts over the latest Daulton revelations. It also gives sports websites an excuse to run pictures of Daulton’s rookie wife, original Hooters Girl Lynne Austin.

 

SOUTH CAROLINA RESTAURANT

June 30, 2009

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DIANE KEATON IN SUMO SMACKDOWN

June 30, 2009

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DIANE KEATON

People magazine has photos of actress Diane Keaton being injured and taken away from the set of a movie she was filming. Keaton sustained the injuries in a mock bout with a sumo wrestler.

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SIN CITY ROLLER GIRLS TO WRESTLE IN JELLO

June 30, 2009

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THE SIN CITY ROLLER GIRLS ARE THE LAS VEGAS WOMENS ROLLER DERBY TEAM. THEY ARE SCHEDULED TO JELLO WRESTLE FOR A FUNDRAISER AT BOOMER’S BAR JULY 18TH.

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YAO DONE?

June 30, 2009

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YAO MING

Yahoo! Sports is reporting that center Yao Ming’s foot injury is so “grave” that the Houston Rockets fear he may miss not only the entire 20009-10 season, but more. In fact, according to the article, Yao may never play again.

Yahoo! got an on-record quote from Rockets team physician Tom Clanton who says Yao’s injury “could be career threatening.”

The Rockets upcoming season has already been destroyed with injuries to Yao and forward Tracy McGrady, who underwent microfracture knee surgery this offseason.

WORST MOVIE EVER?

June 29, 2009

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ORIGINAL TV SHOW CHIPS

Hollywood has greenlighted another surefire turkey. A CHiPs movie starring Wilmer Valderamma is apparently in the works. Valderamma would play the “Ponch” character popularized by Erik Estrada.

Valderrama is being cast in the role of a California Highway Patrol motorcycle officer even though he says he currently can’t ride a motorcycle,

“I hear it’s really hard, but Erik Estrada said he would help me.”

Valderrama starred in the sitcom “That ’70s show,” and has had zero success in starting a movie career. He is famous for sleeping with more starlets than virtually anyone in Hollywood history. Valderrama has had sex with Jessica Alba, Scarlett Johansson, Mila Kunis, Mandy Moore, Jaime Pressley, Lindsay lohan, Jennifer Love Hewitt and at least one Olsen twin.

 

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WILMER VADERRAMA

NEW ECSTACY TABLETS DESIGNED TO LOOK LIKE CHILDREN’S VITAMINS

June 29, 2009

ECSTASY