Archive for September, 2009

OMAR VIZQUEL TO BECOME A BULLFIGHTER THIS OFFSEASON

September 29, 2009

 

Texas Rangers shortstop Omar Vizquel is 42. That’s a little old to still be playing baseball, but probably too young to start his bucket list. Nevertheless, Vizquel says he plans on becoming a matador this offseason. Vizquel says he will start his bullfighting training this winter.

Last winter, Vizquel spent his offseason catching giant anaconda snakes in the Venezuelan jungle.

JETS RECEIVER BENCHED OVER TWEETS

September 28, 2009

DAVID CLOWNEY

This might be a first in NFL history. A player was benched over the weekend because of Twitter.

Wide receiver David Clowney of the New York Jets complained about his playing time on a couple of Tweets last week. Sunday, Jets coach Rex Ryan benched Clowney who was inactive against Tennessee.

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THE RAIDERS ARE STLL NOT HAPPY WITH TERRORIST AND “DOG” RICH GANNON

September 28, 2009

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RICH GANNON

The Oakland Raiders are truly pathetic.

They tried to bar CBS announcer and former NFL qurterback Rich Gannon from their practice facilities last week. Gannon also happens to be the last qb to lead the Raiders to the Super Bowl.

The Raiders are angry at Gannon because he has been a consistent and vocal critic of the Oakland organization. Gannon suggested that the Raiders should “blow up” their organization and start over. The Raiders interpreted his comments literally and have basically accused Gannon of being a terrorist.

Raider executive John Herrera said Gannon’s comments were “uncalled for” and not appropriate “in a post 9/11 world.” Herrera literally went on to compare Gannon to a disloyal and ungrateful “dog.”

Gannon is a former Raiders hero. He signed with Oakland in 1999 and led the Raiders to three straight playoff appearances. Gannon made four Pro Bowls and was the the NFL MVP in 2002 as the Raiders quarterback. He led Oakland to Super Bowl XXXVII.

Herrera counters that Gannon “played the worst Super Bowl game in history” and “I guess it’s out fault he threw five interceptions.”

The Raiders have been accused of focusing on Gannon instead of the Denver Broncos and predictably got their asses kicked this weekend.

I HATE ILLINOIS NAZIS

September 28, 2009

About two dozen members of the National Socialist Movement protest last week's beating of a Belleville West High School teenager in downtown Belleville among several hundred counter protesters and onlookers.

WHITE SUPREMACISTS PROTEST THE BEATING OF A HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT IN ILLINOIS

Rush Limbaugh is an inspiration. To Nazis.

A group protesting for “white civil rights” marched on Belleville, Illinois this weekend. At least 22 white supremacists showed up in the city where two black children on a school bus beat up a white kid earlier this month. The beating was caught on tape.

Limbaugh talked about the incident on his radio show last week. He decried the school bus event as what happens to “white kids” in “Obama’s America.” Limbaugh even suggested segregated school buses as a solution to black-on-white school violence.

The protesting white supremacists quoted Limbaugh extensively at their rally.

PENETRATING JOURNALISM: FOX NEWS HOTTIE LAURIE DHUE WORKS THE STRIPPER POLE

September 28, 2009

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LAURIE DHUE

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CARLOS ZAMBRANO AGAIN THREATENS TO RETIRE

September 28, 2009

Carlos Zambrano

CARLOS ZAMBRANO

Wacky Chicago Cubs pitcher Carlos Zambrano told the Chicago Tribune that he will retire after next season if he suffers through another poor season “like 2009.” Zambrano has only nine wins on the season, despite throwing a two-hitter on Friday.

Zambrano has talked about quitting before. Not likely. He is in the middle of a $91 million contract that is guaranteed at least through 2012.

 

carloszambranodisagree

CARLOS ZAMBRANO: NOT A HAPPY CAMPER

BRETT FAVRE THROWS INCREDIBLE GAME-WINNING TD VERSUS SAN FRANCISCO

September 27, 2009

BRETT FAVRE WALKS OFF THE FIELD FOLLOWING VICTORY OVER 49ERS

 

VIDEO

LIONS WIN!!!! ZORN SCREWED

September 27, 2009
 

MAYBE REDSKINS COACH JIM ZORN SHOULDN’T HAVE LET TOM CRUISE CALL THE PLAYS THIS WEEK

The Detroit Lions picked up their first win since 2007 Sunday with a 19-14 victory over the Washington Redskins. The win ends a 19-game losing streak by the Lions-tying the second longest winless drought in NFL history.

The loss may be enough to cost Washington coach Jim Zorn his job. The Washington Post referred to Zorn as “embattled” and brought up the possibility of his firing in their game story.

JIMZORNBLOWS

JIM ZORN BLOWS

GAY ICON BRADY QUINN BENCHED

September 27, 2009

BRADY QUINN

The Cleveland Browns have benched starting quarterback and gay icon Brady Quinn in favor of veteran Derek Anderson. The Browns made the move after a first half that produced no touchdowns in their 34-3 loss to Baltimore.

Quinn had just one touchdown pass in the Browns first three games and a mediocre quarterback rating of 66.9. More importantly, the Browns are now 0-3.

LAKERS TO VUJACIC: GET A HAIRCUT

September 27, 2009

HIPPIE BASTARD SASHA VUJACIC

Sasha Vujacic had a horrible season with the Los Angeles Lakers last year. In an effort to change his luck and get Vujacic off to a “fresh start,” Lakers coach Phil Jackson ordered Vujacic to cut his hair. Said Jackson of Vujacic’s play last season,

 

“He played with his hair more than he played on the court.”

 

Vujacic has gone a bit Hollywood. He hammed it up with a famous incident where he let a Laker Girl pick out his new headband. Vujacic also has an entire photo gallery composed of modeling shots on his own website.

Last year, Jackson appeared irritated with his European players. He dogged Vujacic saying, “He just doesn’t have a brain.”

Jackson also shipped Euroweenie forward Vladimir Radmanovic out of town after he showed up to practice wearing Vans.

 

FINALS11tlp,6-10-2008

SASHA VUJACIC: BYE BYE HEADBAND