Archive for October, 2009

FROM MMA STAR TO PORN STAR

October 31, 2009

WARMACHINE

WAR MACHINE

Since appearing on Season Six of the UFC reality tv show “The Ultimate Fighter,” Jon Koppenhaver has certainly had an eventful life. He formally changed his name to War Machine, was arrested for brawling  in a Las Vegas gay club, and got in trouble for posting on MySpace that he hopes President Obama “gets smoked.”

Now, since “all I enjoy doing is eating, sleeping, fighting and f**ing,” the MMA fighter is branching out. According to Steve Cofield of Yahoo! Sports, War Machine is becoming a porn star. The fighter made the announcement on his MySpace page.

Tragically, YouTube has removed the video of War Machine getting his butt waxed for his first porn shoot, but he DID profess his love of women in an April interview with promma.info. In addition to saying his hobby was “terrorizing chicks,” War Machine said:

“Girls are so shallow, and so stupid, and so evil, that just because now that they think you’re important, now they WANT you to terrorize them.”

 

 

 

HALLOWEEN IN LAS VEGAS

October 31, 2009

vegashalloween1

HEADLINE OF THE DAY: “FIVE CORRECTIONAL OFFICERS CHARGED IN DOG FONDLING”

October 31, 2009

k9

 

Five law enforcement officers have been charged with animal cruelty in Virginia after “fondling” a k-9 dog on a pair of occassions. The officers are accused of masturbating the police dog, a male German shepherd. Both incidents were caught on tape.

According to the district attorney, one of the cops was “touching the dog’s penis with his hand” and “there’s a video.”

An attorney for one of the officers countered, “I would characterize it as a hazing. If you masturbate your k-9 unit, you’ll have greater control over it.”

OFFICER SHAQ

October 31, 2009

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SHAQUILLE O’NEAL

Cleveland Cavaliers center Shaquille O’Neal is apparently going to be moonlighting. Shaq has applied for a job as a special deputy officer in Cuyahoga County, Ohio. If approved, O’Neal needs to complete 36 hours of police training to be licensed to carry a gun and a sheriff’s five-point badge in Ohio. O’Neal won’t be paid if he gets the position.

Shaq actually has a lengthy law enforcement resume. O’Neal was a reserve officer and part of the LA Port Police when he played in Los Angeles. He was also a sworn reserve officer in Miami and is an honary U.S. Marshall. O’Neal also helped track down Internet sex offenders who prey on children while serving on a criminal task force.

 

OFFICER SHAQ

WARNING: HALLOWEEN CANDY WILL SEND YOU TO HELL

October 30, 2009

BOUND FOR HELL?

According to an article on the Christian Broadcast Network website, candy is a source of “soul molestation” and “most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches.”

Those are just two of the astonishingly insane allegations made by “guest writer” Kimberly Daniels in a post she wrote for CBN. The article generated so much ridicule, after it was exposed by The Huffington Post, that it was removed from the CBN website.

Also, according to Daniels, your children are subject to curses that are transmitted through candy,

“…whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store. The demons cannot tell the difference.”Daniels also says that Halloween decorations, costumes, trick-or-treating, homecoming bonfires, and pumpkin patches are all “demonic activities.” She claims that other practices that go on during this time of year include:
  • Sex with demons
  • Orgies between animals and humans
  • Animal and human sacrifices
  • Sacrificing babies to shed innocent blood
  • Rape and molestation of adults, children and babies
  • Revel nights
  • Conjuring of demons and casting of spells
  • Release of “time-released” curses against the innocent and the ignorant

JUST IN TIME FOR THE WORLD SERIES: PHILLY TRANSIT STRIKE

October 30, 2009

This weekend could be a travel nightmare for Philadelphia sports fans trying to get to World Series games against the Yankees and Sunday’s Eagles game. SEPTA, the city’s transit authority, is scheduled to go on strike at one minute after midnight tonight if a new collective bargaining agreement is not reached. That would mean no bus or subway service in Philadelphia.

KARMA? O.J.’S NEW CELLMATE IS A WHITE SUPREMACIST

October 30, 2009

 

SIMPSON/TRIAL

O.J. SIMPSON

Former NFL star O.J. Simpson is currently serving 33 years in a Nevada prison on kidnapping and robbery charges. According to today’s New York Post, Simpson got a new cellmate earlier this year and the man is a white supremacist.

However, the paper says “since bunking with O.J.,” the two are now “pals.”

EVERYBODY’S BACK TO HATIN’ ON A-ROD

October 30, 2009

arodlove

ALEX RODRIGUEZ

New York Yankees star third baseman Alex Rodriguez is fresh off the greatest two rounds of clutch hitting in Major League Baseball playoff history. He virtually single-handedly put the Yankees into the World Series.

How soon they forget.

The West Palm Beach Post chose today to run a video of Rodriguez making the game-losing error in the 1993 state championship baseball game. The paper even has an interview with some guy who’s now an insurance salesman talking about how he stuck it to A-Rod and his Miami-Westminster Christian team. Of course, the entire tone of the article is to imply what a choker Rodriguez  is.

Contrast that to the British tabloids, one of which today has a feature of how GREAT A-Rod is in bed and how much he’s pleasuring actress Kate Hudson:

*Jul 25 - 00:05*

Of course, the guy still can’t buy a break in the American press. Rodriguez is 0-8 in the first two games of the World Series, prompting a spate of negative stories and headlines like:

“K-Rod? Alex fans thrice more” (That’s on the Major League Baseball website!)

“Alex Rodriguez not worried about early World Series slump” (Star-Ledger)

“Yankees’ Rodriguez Is Still Searching for First World Series Hit” (New York Times)

“Howard and Rodriguez not exactly cleaning up” (Philadelphia Daily News)

“A-Rod down, but Teixeira, Matsui pick him up” (Newsday)

“Kate Hudson Gloomy-Looking as A-Rod Strikes Out” (US Magazine)

“A-Rod of Old Has Returned” (Fanhouse)

“Yanks, A-Rod must step it up” (New York Post)

Keep in mind, this is all following a Yankees WIN. Hell, the New York media was kinder to longtime nemesis Pedro Martinez!

arodks

FRONT-RUNNING NEWSPAPERS BLAST “K-ROD”

GLENN BECK: NOW BROUGHT TO YOU BY CNN AND FEMA

October 30, 2009

To date, 84 sponsors have joined the  nationwide boycott of the Glenn Beck Program orchestrated by colorofchange.org. One report estimates that Fox News has lost 50% of its revenue from the show.

The boycott started after Beck called President Obama “racist” on the Fox News Channel morning show Fox & Friends. Among the companies that have formally announced they will no longer advertise on Beck’s show are Applebee’s, AT&T, Campbell’s Soup, Geico, General Mills, Kraft, Mercedes-Benz, Radio Shack, UPS and Walmart.

What’s slightly MORE interesting is the list of companies still buying ads on Beck’s program. For instance, the CNN show American Morning recently bought time. CNN is Fox News’ competitor as well as Beck’s former employer.

Do you know who else recently bought air time on Beck’s show? Would you believe FEMA? As in the Federal Emergency Management Agency.You know, the guys who brought you Hurricane Katrina and its aftermath. No joke.

Why in THE HELL would an agency of the federal government advertise with Glenn Beck?!? His whole purpose is to trash “the government?” Particularly, THAT government agency. Beck spent an entire week of his show discussing the ridiculous “possibility” of FEMA concentration camps being built to “round up” American citizens.

Geez, maybe, the federal government IS as incompetent as Beck says it is.

LATEST TEACHER TO HAVE SEX WITH A 13-YEAR-OLD

October 30, 2009

kristy_sanchez-trujillo

KRISTY SANCHEZ-TRUJILLO

A New Mexico teacher confesses to having sex with a 13-year-old male student at the Jimmy Carter Middle School.