Archive for December, 2009

91-YEAR-OLD BLOGGER: GET OFF MY LAWN/SITE

December 31, 2009

FURMAN BISHER: LITERALLY, WAS ALREADY OLD WHEN THE ELECTRIC TYPEWRITER WAS INVENTED

We’ve posted about former Atlanta Journal-Constitution columnist Furman Bisher before. At 91, he may not be the world’s oldest current blogger, but he’s certainly the crankiest. Earlier this week, Bisher wrote a lengthy, detailed piece on the “Inside Story of Tiger Woods.”

Bisher used a neighbor of Woods as his primary source for the article which, if true, fills in a number of gaps on the Woods story and also refutes lots of the information being put out by gossip rags like TMZ and radaronline.com. Bisher’s Tiger tale was an immediate Internet sensation and resulted in a flurry of page hits and several requests from talk shows to book Bisher as a guest.

The result? Bisher is PISSED! He actually COMPLAINED about so many people (at least 43,000) visiting his website. He wrote about “my private blog” and actually scolded people for reading his article if they weren’t friends or family. Bisher says it “irritates me” when his blog gets that many hits and “if you are among the offended, then stay off my website. It’s for friends only.”

Awesome! I’ll say it again, this is why 91-year-old dudes shouldn’t blog.

LIBERALS ON TWITTER STAY CLASSY OVER RUSH LIMBAUGH’S CHEST PAIN NEWS

December 31, 2009

BIRTHER LOVE TRIANGLE

December 31, 2009

Orly Taitz

IRRESISTIBLE, SEXY BITCH ORLY TAITZ

Hell hath no fury like a birther scorned.

Lawyer Orly Taitz is the leading figure and probably the most vocal and visible spokesperson of the “birther” movement-those people who claim that President Barack Obama was not born in the United States and must be removed from office because he was not constitutionally entitled to run for the presidency. You know, wingnuts.

Just this week, Taitz called President Obama a, “Kenya, Indonesian communist usurper.”

Taitz had a bad year in 2009 as court after court laughed off her claims and dismissed the lawsuits she constantly filed challenging Obama’s American citizenship. One judge claims she may have “may have suborned perjury.” Finally, in the court case Rhodes v. Macdonald, the judge cited Taitz for filing a frivolous lawsuit and fined her $20,000 for violating Federal Rules of Civil Procedure.

Since the debacle of the Rhodes case, Taitz has been assisted in her legal briefs, motions and filings by a former lawyer named Charles Lincoln. Lincoln may be crazier than Taitz. He’s a disbarred attorney who now says that he was madly in love with Taitz and that she only dumped him and chose to stay with HER HUSBAND because of his money. A spurned Lincoln went to his blog and wrote a massive, incoherent diatribe both denouncing Taitz and professing his undying love for the peroxide fireball.

According to Lincoln’s blog:

“I had wrapped my life around Orly’s and I guess I honestly believed she had wrapped hers around mine and she said over and over again how much she was committed to me and how she never wanted us to separate.  Three weeks later she had abandoned me, and yet some people have the nerve to call ME mentally unstable!  I am honest about where I come from.  Orly is not.  Orly used her words and promises to induce me as long as she wanted and then she dumped me with no regard to her promises whatsoever.”

Oh, but wait. There’s more!

“Honest and righteous people can, from time-to-time, fall in love across “normative” boundaries of marriage and family.  It was my belief that Orly and I were such people and I begged her to “come clean” and openly admit what had happened. My feelings for her were always entirely honorable.  My intentions were always honorable.  I was committed to her.  She said she was committed to me.  Perhaps we should have ended up like (ironically) that famed French Socialist President Mitterand, mourned at his funeral by his wife and mistress crying on each other’s shoulders.  I don’t know.”  

 

Lincoln goes on to describe Taitz as a “wonderful, passionate, and yes quite beautiful woman” and admits to having an affair with her. For those of you who want the mental image of Orly Taitz naked, Lincoln even writes about her walking out of his shower.

Alas, the forbidden love was not to be. In true Tea Party fashion, Lincoln concludes:

“She chose to DUMP me, to DUMP real love, for the illusion of piles of federal reserve notes.”

 

* Update: Gawker.com is all over the Orly Taitz love triangle story. They’ve even come up with an insane love letter that Lincoln wrote to Taitz. It’s serial killer/Unibomber long, a real manifesto.

NO BOOZE AT SUNDAY’S JETS GAME

December 31, 2009

IT’S GOING TO BE TOUGH BEING A JETS FAN THIS WEEK

Bad news. New York Jets fans may have to watch Sunday’s game against the Cincinnati Bengals sober.

The club has announced there will be no alcohol sold at the Jets season finale. The game also marks the final pro football game to be played at the Meadowlands and Giants Stadium in New Jersey.

Even though their own coach gave them up for dead a couple of weeks ago, a playoff spot now seems entirely obtainable for the Jets. For the second consecutive week, New York is playing a team resting all of their starters.

RUSH LIMBAUGH IN SERIOUS CONDITION WITH CHEST PAINS

December 31, 2009

RUSH LIMBAUGH

Conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh was rushed to a  Honolulu hospital Wednesday after experiencing chest pains. Limbaugh was said to be in serious condition after suffering the chest pains in his Hawaiian hotel room whiled on vacation for the holidays.

* Update: Limbaugh is described as “alert” and “resting comfortably” at The Queens Medical Center in Honolulu. According to Limbaugh’s website, “Rush appreciates your prayers and well wishes. He will keep you updated via RushLimbaugh.com and on Thursday’s radio program.

GOOD NEWS, LADIES: NEVADA GOVERNOR BACK UP FOR GRABS

December 30, 2009

NEVADA GOVERNOR JIM GIBBONS NOW FREE TO RESUME A LIFE OF DRUNKEN FORNICATION

Nevada governor Jim Gibbons is breathing a sigh of relief. His divorce from wife Dawn has officially been finalized without going to a messy trial. A Gibbons spokesman said the governor was taking the “high road” and not commenting on the former First Lady. That is if by “high road’ you mean comparing Dawn Gibbons to a rodent and calling her an “enraged ferret.”

To briefly summarize the Gibbons divorce settlement: He gets the gun collection, she gets the art and they split the couple’s Model T collection. Gibbons will also pay a lump settlement of $275,000 to his ex-wife and $4,000 a month for the next four years.

Gibbons was caught cheating on his ex on multiple occassions. He was photographed making out with a former Playboy Playmate in a parking lot at the rodeo:

He also was forced to cancel his state issued cell phone after sending 867 text messages to another one of his mistresses. Not to mention those pesky attempted rape allegations by a former Vegas cocktail waitress.

 The website Wonkette.com had a field day over the Gibbons divorce announcement. Today, Wonkette referred to Gibbons as an “alcoholic sex crook.” Wonkette is the same website that constantly refers to Layne as “The Nation’s Worst Governor.”  In a piece last year, writer Ken Layne called Gibbons as a “drunken idiot.” Layne also referred to Gibbons as a “moronic alcoholic waitress-assaulting sex criminal” and a “bribe taker.” Layne has long been one of Gibbons’ biggest foes.

WONKETTE.COM CALLED NEVADA GOVERNOR JIM GIBBONS “AN ALCOHOLIC SEX CROOK” WEDNESDAY

YA LOCK A KID WITH A CONCUSSION IN A DARK SHED JUST ONCE…

December 30, 2009

Coach Mike Leach of the Texas Tech Red Raiders.

MIKE LEACH

Texas Tech fired head football coach Mike Leach on Wednesday. Leach had originally been suspended by the school for his alleged mistreatment of one of his players, Adam James. James’ father, former SMU star, NFL player and ESPN announcer Craig James, contends that Leach locked his son in a dark shed after the younger James suffered a concussion in practice.

The University had asked Leach to apologize to the James family. Leach refused. Texas Tech then suspended Leach for the upcoming Alamo Bowl. When Leach and his lawyer went to court to get him reinstated for the bowl game, then tried to obtain a court order ordering that reinstatement, the school responded by firing him “for cause.”

The school contends Leach’s behavior towards James was abusive. Leach’s lawyer responded to the allegations of mistreatment today:

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SOUTH DAKOTA WOMAN JUST MISSES U.S. INTOXICATION RECORD

December 30, 2009

MARGUERITE ENGLE

A South Dakota woman came within 2/100th’s of a point from being the all-time drunkest driver in U.S. history.

Still, Marguerite Engle had a staggering blood alcohol level of .708 when a state trooper found her passed out at the wheel of a stolen car in Sturgis, South Dakota. That’s 9x the legal limit.

The Smoking Gun has all the details.

FAMED PUPPY MURDERER MAY BE MAKING NBA COMEBACK

December 30, 2009

NOT IN FAVOR OF A QYNTEL WOODS COMEBACK

Long before Michael Vick, former NBA first round draft pick Qyntel Woods ran afoul of the law and was busted for fighting and abusing dogs.

Woods abused his pit bulls Hollywood and Sugar so horrifically that he was actually suspended by the Portland Trail Blazers and had a local television station surveil his house with a helicopter after he was arrested on animal cruelty charges. The Blazers refused to pay Woods his 2004-05 salary and he was soon out of the league. Woods fled the country and has spent the last four years playing basketball in Greece, Italy and now Poland.

However, after a four year European banishment, Woods is suddenly a hot NBA commodity again. He’s playing GREAT. One website recently referred to Woods’ “sick upside.” Woods recently made a Draft Express list of top overseas players being considered by NBA teams. He was recently profiled by Dime Magazine and Ben Maller. Woods even has 366 friends on Facebook. All of which is unbelievable considering that not only was Woods a sadistic animal torturer and pothead during his last NBA goaround, but he also SUCKED as a player. 

Woods’ behavior was so heinous that he had actual dogs picketing his house in October 2004. Seriously.

Never the less, Woods’ agent has put together a four minute highlight reel in an attempt to drum up NBA interest:

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NFL ACCUSED OF SUPPORTING PEDOPHILIA

December 30, 2009

Pete Townshend

PETE TOWNSHEND

Let’s start this post with a simple, immutable fact. Pete Townshend is NOT a child molester.

Led by a group called Child Abuse Watch, several organizations are trying to ban Townshend, the legendary British guitarist/singer with the ’60s  rock group The Who, from performing at this year’s Super Bowl. The NFL chose The Who to be this year’s half time band at the game.Townshend spent five years on Britain’s list of registered sex offenders after logging onto a kiddie porn site in 1999.  Townsend was originally arrested for “suspicion of possessing indecent images of children.” Those charges were eventually dropped. There is a very thoughtful article on the “Ban Townshend” topic that was written by David Whitley and is currently posted on Fanhouse.

Whitley points out that after he was arrested in 2004, Townsend turned over all 14 of his computers to police who found “no trace of pornographic activity.” However, he did visit that one child porn site. That alone was enough to get Townsend placed on Britain’s sex offender list. Townshend was removed from the list after five years with noincidents.The rocker has always maintained that he was just “doing research” when he logged onto the child porn site. Laughable, right? Typical pervert! Except, in Townshend’s case, he really DID write a six page article on pedophilia entitled “A Different Bomb.” The article was about a friend of Townshend’s who killed himself after being sexually abused as a child. The premise of the Townshend article was how easy it is to gain access to child porn sites.

The National Football League doesn’t have a particularly proud history when it comes to employing pervert singers for their half time shows. As David Whitley points out, the NFL once put Michael Jackson on stage at their half time show surrounded by 3,500 children. Yikes! Unlike Jackson, Townshend has never been accused (let alone convicted) of having sex with a child.

THE NFL, WHO ONCE PUT MICHAEL JACKSON ON STAGE SURROUNDED BY 3,500 CHILDREN, IS NOW BEING ASKED TO BAN PETE TOWNSHEND