GOOD NEWS, LADIES: NEVADA GOVERNOR BACK UP FOR GRABS

NEVADA GOVERNOR JIM GIBBONS NOW FREE TO RESUME A LIFE OF DRUNKEN FORNICATION

Nevada governor Jim Gibbons is breathing a sigh of relief. His divorce from wife Dawn has officially been finalized without going to a messy trial. A Gibbons spokesman said the governor was taking the “high road” and not commenting on the former First Lady. That is if by “high road’ you mean comparing Dawn Gibbons to a rodent and calling her an “enraged ferret.”

To briefly summarize the Gibbons divorce settlement: He gets the gun collection, she gets the art and they split the couple’s Model T collection. Gibbons will also pay a lump settlement of $275,000 to his ex-wife and $4,000 a month for the next four years.

Gibbons was caught cheating on his ex on multiple occassions. He was photographed making out with a former Playboy Playmate in a parking lot at the rodeo:

He also was forced to cancel his state issued cell phone after sending 867 text messages to another one of his mistresses. Not to mention those pesky attempted rape allegations by a former Vegas cocktail waitress.

 The website Wonkette.com had a field day over the Gibbons divorce announcement. Today, Wonkette referred to Gibbons as an “alcoholic sex crook.” Wonkette is the same website that constantly refers to Layne as “The Nation’s Worst Governor.”  In a piece last year, writer Ken Layne called Gibbons as a “drunken idiot.” Layne also referred to Gibbons as a “moronic alcoholic waitress-assaulting sex criminal” and a “bribe taker.” Layne has long been one of Gibbons’ biggest foes.

WONKETTE.COM CALLED NEVADA GOVERNOR JIM GIBBONS “AN ALCOHOLIC SEX CROOK” WEDNESDAY

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