Archive for February, 2010

ATF SEIZES TOY GUNS

February 28, 2010

The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms seized 3o toy guns in a raid in Tacoma, Washington. The ATF says the toys “can be easily retro-fitted into dangerous weapons.” An ATF spokesman went so far as to claim the toys could be made into machine  guns.

Conspiracy nuts like Alex Jones are all over this story.

GROUP WANTS BUNNING KICKED OUT OF THE HALL OF FAME

February 28, 2010

 

Earlier this week, we posted about how Senator Jim Bunning of Kentucky was singlehandedly responsible for several million Americans possibly losing their unemployment insurance. Bunning was the lone member of the Senate holding up an extension of unemployment benefits.

Now, because of his actions, a group representing unemployed Americans wants Bunning kicked out of baseball’s Hall of Fame. Saying Bunning is “mean” and “despicable” the group UCubed (Ur Union of Unemployed) has even started a petition demanding Bunning’s plaque be removed from Cooperstown. U3 says it will present the signed petition to Bunning’s Senate office and the Baseball Writers Association of America (whose members vote on the Hall of Fame.)

B.J. PENN: LIKE THE WEATHER CHANNEL, ONLY CHEAPER

February 27, 2010

 

PHOTO FROM BJPENN.COM

Hawaii was under a Tsunami warning Sunday following an 8.8 magnitude earthquake in Chile. CNN made liberal use of a livestream from UFC fighter B.J. Penn’s website. Penn is a Hawaii resident.

JENNY MCCARTHY: MY BAD, TURNS OUT MY KID DOESN’T HAVE AUTISM

February 27, 2010

JENNY MCCARTHY AND SON

Holy crap!

This would be why you shouldn’t receive your medical advice from Playboy centerfolds. For YEARS, Jenny McCarthy has been the most vocal anti-vaccine spokesperson in the world. McCarthy had claimed (despite all evidence to the contrary) that childhood vaccines had caused her young son’s autism.

Now in a stunning article in Time magazine, it’s revealed that McCarthy’s son NEVER had autism in the first place. It turns out the boy had been misdiagnosed and really has a rare neurological disorder. Fortunately, the child is getting better and no longer displays any signs of autism. However, McCarthy has not apologized for her misdirected zealotry against having children vaccinated. Even if she did, APOLOGY NOT ACCEPTED.

How many thousands and thousands of children have developed childhood diseases because their idiot mothers saw Jenny McCarthy on Oprah or some other show and refused to get them vaccinated? We’ll never know. What IS known is the CDC literally called McCarthy “a menace to public health.”

JASON HEYWARD: THE LEGEND BEGINS

February 27, 2010

ROOKIE JASON HEYWARD IS ALREADY BEING CALLED A BATTING PRACTICE “LEGEND”

So far, the talk of spring training has been 20-year-old Atlanta Braves rookie outfielder Jason Heyward. The biggest story to come out of Florida this week is how the Braves have actually installed netting over the team parking lot solely because of the havoc Heyward was wreaking on parked cars during batting practice. The 6-5, 245 pound Heyward has already dinged so many cars that the parking lot in Kissimmee, located some 440 feet away from home plate, has already been dubbed “Jason’s Junkyard.”

The final straw apparently came after Heyward smacked a ball through the sunroof of the assistant GM of the Braves’ car, causing $3,400 damage. The netting was installed Friday. He also hit a Coca Cola truck. Heyward’s BP stunts have been so prodigious that in one day of articles he has been referred to as “the next Ken Griffey Jr.” and “already a legend.” Friday, Braves manager Bobby Cox compared Heyward to freaking Hank Aaron.

20-YEAR-OLD JASON HEYWARD

CANADIAN WOMEN’S HOCKEY TEAM WINS GOLD: GETS MORE ATTENTION FOR UNDERAGE, ON-ICE BOOZING

February 26, 2010

Wow, talk about a double standard! The latest manufactured media story is the fake outrage being directed at the Canadian women’s hockey team.

Thursday, the Canadians won the Olympic gold medal in hockey. Following their victory (and after fans had left the arena) the players celebrated by drinking beer and champagne on the ice. At least one of the Canadian players drinking after the game was underaged. Newsapers throughout Canada and the world have expressed outrage.

FORMER NBA GREAT BUSTED FOR HUMAN TRAFFICKING

February 26, 2010

 Robertson

ALVIN ROBERTSON

Former NBA star Alvin Robertson has been charged with sexual assault and human trafficking. San Antonio authorities say Robertson was part of a ring that forced underage girls to be sex workers.

A 14-year-old girl says Robertson kidnapped and imprisoned her, then forced her to work as a prostitute and Corpus Christi stripper. Robertson has been charged with sexual assault of a child, trafficking an underage child for purposes of sex and forcing a sexual performance by a child. He was named to four All-Star teams and was one of the greatest defensive guards in basketball history. Robertson also won two Olympic basketball gold medals set the NBA steals record.

Robertson is currently on the run from police. He has a long history of beating women,

COLORADO SPRINGS BANS PUPPET CLEAVAGE

February 26, 2010

The Broadway production “Avenue Q” has been banned from running billboard ads in Colorado Springs that feature the cleavage of a fuzzy pink puppet. The Colorado city has attracted a huge number of Evangelical Christian organizations who make their home there. In addition to “Focus on the Family,” some 80 additional Christian organizations have their national headquarters based inthe “Evangelical Vatican.”

JIM BUNNING TOO STUPID TO FEEL SHAME

February 26, 2010

JIM BUNNING

Kentucky Senator and Hall of  Fame former Major League pitcher Jim Bunning spent all of last night cutting off extended unemployment benefits to everybody in America. Then he took to the Senate floor to WHINE about how doing so had caused him to miss that night’s Kentucky/South Carolina basketball game.

Bunning is singlehandedly causing 1.1 million Americans to be cut off from their unemployment benefits within days. Another 5 million will lose their unemployment by June unless legislation is passed.

Watch for yourself:

JOHNNY WEIR FORCED TO RESPOND TO RUMORS THAT HE’S A WOMAN OR EVEN *GASP!* HETEROSEXUAL

February 26, 2010

JOHNNY WEIR

A pair of idiot Canadian announcers from Quebec are in trouble after making homophobic comments against flamboyant American figure skater Jonny Weir. The announcers said he was a “poor example” for other skaters and even suggested he be forced to undergo gender identity testing.

In response, Weir felt compelled to hold a press conference to state that he IS a man.

video

Weir did make some rather open ended comments that might be interpreted to mean he’s slept with women (below video.) This follows an ESPN.com article that flat out states Weir may be STRAIGHT heterosexual.

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