JIM GIBBONS SOON TO BE AMERICA’S WORST EX-GOVERNOR

JIM GIBBONS

Nevada governor Jim Gibbons can now get the party started. The scandal-plagued Gibbons had vowed to celebrate if he lost in the state’s Republican primary, Tuesday. Mission accomplished.

Gibbons became the first sitting governor in Nevada history to fail to make it out of his state’s party primary. Gibbons was creamed, losing the Republican nominatiion to judge Brian Sandoval and receiving only 25% of the vote. Polls had Gibbons with a ridiculous 10% approval rating. His littany of scandals and screwups is awe inspiring. Gibbons was accused of sexually assaulting a cocktail waitress right before his 2006 election, investigated by the FBI after being accused of taking a six-figure bribe from a Nevada businessman in the form of poker chips during a cruise, hired an illegal alien nanny, used his state-issued cell phone to text a mistress hundreds of times, was outed as a would-be rapist by a secret video of a stray cat, got caught making out with a former Playboy bunny in the parking lot of a rodeo, and was videotaped flying another mistress to a governor’s conference on the taxpayers’ dime all while going through a messy divorce and wrecking the state’s economy.

Writer Ken Layne and Wonkette.com, who have been particularly hard on “America’s worst governor,” celebrated last night’s loss by calling Gibbons a “pig-eyed drunken would-be rapist and serial crook.”

Here are some of the actual phrases by which Wonkette and Layne have referred to Gibbons in the past:

“Drunken idiot”

“Leering imbecile and national embarrassment”

“bloated idiot”

“mean-spirited mouth-breathing turd”

“utter asshole”

“bribetaker”

“cretin”

“paranoid schizophrenic”

and finally a “moronic alcoholic waitress-assaulting sex criminal.”

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