Archive for June, 2010

LANDON DONOVAN SCORES BIGGEST GOAL IN U.S. WORLD CUP HISTORY

June 24, 2010

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The U.S. is advancing to the next round of the World Cup following a 1-0 victory over Algeria. Landon Donovan’s game-winning goal against the Algerians came  with just seconds left in penalty time.

The Americans were able to overcome a series of blown calls by referees against both Slovakia and Algeria to advance.

ANOTHER MAN/HORSE LOVE STORY

June 24, 2010

BYRON CHRISTOPHER JORDAN

A Georgia man has been arrested after multiple witnesses reportedly saw him having sex with horses. Byron Christopher Jordan was charged with bestiality.

Witnesses say they observed Jordan “having sexual intercourse with several horses” while wearing only pajama bottoms that were “extremely dirty and had the front fly open.”

Jordan was literally caught in the act by police. He was “pulled off” his third horse of the day.

A.J. FEELEY IS AN NFL STARTING QUARTERBACK

June 24, 2010

 

A.J. FEELEY

The NFL’s St. Louis Rams continue to insist they will not rush #1 draft pick Sam Bradford. The Oklahoma quarterback was th first player chosen in this year’s NFL Draft. However, that does not assure Bradford of being the Rams qb when the season opens.

In fact, Rams coach Steve Spagnoulo is already insisting that veteran retread A.J. Feeley is the Rams starting quarterback “for now.”

OBVIOUS COMMERCIAL OPPORTUNITY OF THE YEAR

June 24, 2010

Golden Tate's Donut Crimes Becomes Obvious Ad Opportunity

Top Pot donuts in Seattle has capitalized on the Golden Tate maple bar caper with a new ad.

CANDY CIGARETTES OUTLAWED

June 24, 2010

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As of today, the sale of candy cigarettes and most flavored cigarettes is now banned in the U.S.

Despite the best efforts of Sen. Jim Bunning of Kentucky, the  Family Smoking Prevention and Control Act of 2010 passed. Other aspects of the law include:

* Tobacco companies can no longer advertise at sporting events or music concerts.

* Cigarette brand names are not allowed on apparel. For instance, no more Camel t-shirts or hats. No Marlboro beach towels.

* Even the sale of clove cigarettes is now illegal.

* Virtually all cigarette ads can no longer be in color. Only black text on a white background.

Here’s a partial list of tobacco items that are now illegal:

TOBACCO PRODUCT SPONSORSHIP OF SPORTING EVENTS

ADS AT BASEBALL GAMES

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CANDY FLAVORED CIGARETTES

CANDY CIGARETTES

CLOVE CIGARETTES

SPORTS RELATED ADVERTISING BY CIGARETTE COMPANIES

CLOTHING OR APPAREL WITH CIGARETTE BRAND NAMES

VARIOUS COUPONS FOR CIGARETTES

GIVEAWAYS TO ENTICE PEOPLE TO BUY CIGARETTES

COLORED MAGAZINE ADS FOR CIGARETTES

BEN ROETHLISBERGER IS A ROLE MODEL FOR CHILDREN

June 23, 2010

BEN ROETHLISBERGER: YOUTH FOOTBALL CAMP INSTRUCTOR

According to Fanhouse.com, accused rapist and currently suspended Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger made a surprise visit at his coach’s youth football camp today. Roethlisberger was a guest instructor for Steelers coach Mike Tomlin.

BRISTOL PALIN: SEX WITH THE EX

June 23, 2010

In happier times: Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston at the 2008 Republican National Convention in St. Paul.

LEVI JOHNSTON AND BRISTOL PALIN

There are Internet and newspaper reports that the daughter of former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin is back with the deadbeat hockey player who knocked her up. According to UsMagazine.com, Levi Johnston now spends nights at the condo of Bristol Palin and the two are “turning a new page” following their messy 2009 breakup.

bristol-palin

IS THIS HOW TRIPP WAS CONCEIVED?

FAMED SUBSTANCE ABUSER GETS GOAHEAD TO OPEN BAR

June 23, 2010

 

D-A-R-R-Y-L

Today’s New York Post says a community board in Queens has given its support to former New York Mets star Darryl Strawberry who has applied for a state liquor license.

Strawberry has a long history of substance abuse and arrests. That includes the time he beat a homeless woman with a pipe. Strawberry was having sex with the homeless woman and got into a dispute over drugs. There was also the time Strawberry blacked out while driving to see his parole officer after taking too many pain killers.

NBA STAR BEATEN IN SHOOTING CONTEST BY 13-YEAR-OLD

June 23, 2010

MANU GINOBLI

NBA All-Star Manu Ginobli of the San Antonio Spurs recently lost a game of “Knockout” to a kid participating in his basketball camp. Ginobli was reportedly beaten in the shooting contest by a 13-year-old.

JAMES GANDOLFINI IS STILL ALIVE

June 23, 2010