WORST…MISTRESS…EVAH!

RACHEL UCHITEL

With his divorce now final and his ex-wife running to People magazine, golfer Tiger Woods is officially a free agent again. There’s lots of speculation about what that means but here’s an idea: DON’T go within 1,000 miles of your gold digging former mistress Rachel Uchitel.

Elin Nordegren Speaks: 'I Feel Stronger Than I Ever Have' | Elin Nordegren

Uchitel recently gave an interview where she said she wanted to “rekindle” her relationship with Woods. No Way! Tiger would be smarter to light HIMSELF on fire. More than anyone, Uchitel is responsible for ruining Woods’ life.

Uchitel has apparently had three ways of making money over the past couple of years:

* nightclub VIP hostess

* purveyor of prostitutes and drugs for rich guys

* banging celebrities

Unfortunately, Uchitel sucked at all three jobs and for the same reason-SHE COULDN’T KEEP HER MOUTH SHUT.

Here’s the photo the attorney for actor David Boreanaz’s wife got to take into divorce court. While she was seven months pregnant. It’s a picture Uchitel posed for:

ACTOR DAVID BOREANAZ ALSO HAD HIS LIFE RUINED BY RACHEL UCHITEL

If you want to keep score of how bad a mistress Uchitel is you can add the millions she cost Boreanaz to the HUNDREDS of millions she cost Tiger Woods. Now, THAT’S a bad mistresss!

ALL of Woods’ mistresses (and there were probably 40 of them) managed to keep their mouths shut while he was cheating on Elin Nordegren. Even the ones missing teeth.

JAIMEE GRUBBS

Plus, at least Jaimee Grubbs had enough sense to DENY! DENY! DENY! when confronted by Woods’ angry wife on a cell phone call.

All of Woods’ philandering became public knowledge because the National Enquirer broke the story of the golfer’s infidelities. Their source was a drug-addled party girl named Ashley Samson that Uchitel shot her mouth off to. Uchitel told Samson all about her affair with Woods who then told the National Enquirer (for money.)

UCHITEL AND FELLOW SLUT ASHLEY SAMSON

Uchitel then not only lied about the affair with Woods to the media but lied about the National Enquire as well. Bad move. The tabloid proceeded to CRUCIFY her. In what could probably be a textbook case in future college classes of Yellow Journalism 101, the Enquirer came out with a scathing story accusing Uchitel of being a liar and a homewrecker “who has a reputation for dating married celebrities.”

The Enquirer also portrayed Uchitel as a sexting and drug addict while calling her a “liar” in print. Finally, the tabloid not only flat out says that Uchitel uses drugs but runs a quote from her telling a friend that she LOVES drugs,

“because you have crazier sex.”

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