CLEVELAND SUCKS

Thursday night was a bad day to be from Cleveland. In his mega-hyped return, former Ohio hero LeBron James, now the most hated man in C-town history, made his return to play against his former team the Cleveland Cavaliers. Things didn’t work out so well for Cleveland.

James and his new Miami Heat team spanked the Cavaliers so badly that the sellout crowd, that had wanted to explode, ended up spending most of the game in stunned silence. Final score: Miami 118 Cleveland 90. James finished with 38 points in just three quarters. He outscored the Cavaliers entire starting lineup.

The Cavaliers were so pathetic that SI writer Ian Thomsen says James turned the entire city of Cleveland, their owner, players, and fans into “victims.” After the game James was such a “preening dickhead” that Fox Sports columnist Jason Whitlock  called him a “lost cause.” Whitlock said he was giving up on James because of “the classless way he exited the city” of Cleveland. James also got killed in a variety of national chatrooms.

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