LEBRON JAMES BIRTHDAY CAKE
Are you one of the few people on earth who does not yet hate basketball player LeBron James? Here’s a couple more opportunities to reevaluate your position.
Nothing says “I’m a douche” more than a 12-foot high monogrammed birthday cake with a crown on top of it. Unless you bought the cake for YOURSELF, for a party you charged people to get into, then Tweeted a picture of said cake. LeBron did get shut out trying to find a $500,000 sponsor to pay him for an 11 city “birthday tour.”
Need another reason to hate LeBron? Apparently he and his minions got the awesome Stanford Band dis-invited from last night’s Orange Bowl. According to MSNBC, Orange Bowl “administrators” decided to bar the Stanford Marching Unit Team (a.k.a. SMUT) from performing at halftime of the game. They reportedly were afraid that the band would do one of their famous parody hit pieces after they they announced that their halftime show would feature “Recent Events in the Pro Sports World in Miami.”
Geeze, I wonder who that might be mocking? Previous Stanford Band objects of mockery include “tributes” to USC alums O.J. Simpson (featuring a wheeled out white van covered in bloody hand prints), and Girls Gone Wild founder/“Douche of the Decade” Joe Francis. During the Francis tribute the band announced to the crowd, “It takes a special kind of man to be wanted for sexual harassment, drug trafficking, tax evasion, prostitution, child abuse and disruptive flatulence.” The Stanford Band has also been banned by Notre Dame after they once used a giant crucifix as a baton.
The world was denied a classic performance because Miami city officials were afraid one of the town’s athletes would be mocked and ridiculed. Boo!!!