NFL OWNERS ARE A GODDAMN JOKE

Just read any newspaper sports columnist or listen to any sports talk radio host and they’ll tell you that the NFL owners are KILLING the Players Association in the current labor negotiations. Virtually every member of the old media are taking the same position-the owners are “entrepeneurs.” They take all the risks. There needs to be a “new” business model so that NFL franchises can make more of the money in the current economy.

This theory is complete and utter crap. Currently, less than half of all NFL owners have any other business than owning their team.

The whole idea of NFL owners as up-by-their-bootstraps capitalists and businessmen is a lie. Think National Football League owners are a collection of businessmen and entrepeneurs? Think again. It remains a fact to this minute that the number one way today’s owners acquired their clubs is having their old man drop dead and leave them their team and or money.

Here’s the background on every NFL owner:

AFC East

Buffalo-Ralph Wilson.  Bought Bills for $5,000. Now worth $1 billion. Has no other source of income. He’s 92. Kids have never had a job except “working” for the Bills & can’t even afford the inheritance tax.They will move to Toronto. IS the sole reason there is an Oakland Raiders. Lent Raiders $400,000 back in dickity-six. Also bailed out the Patriots. Was Buffalo insurance agent when he bought the Bills. Doesn’t even live in Buffalo. Moved to Michigan years ago. One of two owners to vote against the last Collective Bargaining Agreement.

Miami-Stephen Ross. Ok, this guy IS a businessman. Made so much money in New York real estate that the University of Michigan business department is named the “Ross School of Business.” Maybe it was the $100 million donation he made to the school. Co-owner Wayne Huizenga IS an imbecile. He owned and bankrupted Blockbuster video.

New England-Bob Kraft. Legendary Boston businessman. When he bought the Patriots he was the #320 richest man in America. Now he’s #655.

New York Jets-Woody Johnson. Genius who had the business acumen to survive his great-great-grandfather who founded Johnson & Johnson.

AFC Central

Baltimore-Steve Bisciotti. Started aerospace company out of his basement. Real entrepenuer. However only got team cause Art Modell went broke and he had first option to buy club.

Cincinnati-Mike Brown. Dullard/idiot son of NFL legend Paul Brown who died 20 years ago. Want more info check Mikebrownsucks.com.

Cleveland-Randy Lerner. His father started an investment company with $800 million of his own money. Then dropped dead at 69. Lerner then sold the company to Bank of America for $35 billion.

Pittsburgh-Art Rooney bought the Steelers in 1933 with $2,500 he won in a poker game. Hit the trifecta at Saratoga in 1936, winning $160,000. Never worked agian. Team passed down to his son Dan Rooney.

AFC South

Houston-Bob McNair. Founded Cogen Technologies. If you’ve never heard of that company its because it sold out to Enron. After selling out and getting all his money from Enron, McNair is such a business genius that he is the only NFL owner whose businesses aren;t even listed on Wikipedia.

Indianapolis-Jimmy Irsay. Went straight from cocaine rehab to owning the Colts after his dad, Robert Irsay, dropped dead.

Jacksonville-Wayne Weaver is 76. Founded a shoe store. Cobbled together enough money to be Jacksonville’s “majority” owner when league made up its mind to expand into the South. Hasn’t had an active business in two decades.

Tennesse-Bud Adams. Another guy who bought his team for thousands of dollars and now its worth billions. Made original fortune in the oil business and his Lincoln dealership.

AFC West

Denver-Pat Bowlen. Another guy who inherited all his money. Was working as a lawyer in Edmonton when his family purchased the Broncos out of bankruptcy and named him owner.

Kansas City-Clark Hunt. Another inherited-his-wealth white guy. Grandfather was a billionaire oil tycoon. Dad Lamar and his uncle are the infamous Hunt brothers who tried to corner the silver market in the ’70s and personally responsible for shutting down Idaho’s Bunker mine.

Oakland-Al Davis paid $0 to own Raiders. Convinced two Oakland owners in the ’60s to name him “managing general partner” for life.

San Diego-Alex Spanos. Self-made California real estate guy. Worth $826 million. However, diagnosed with late stages of dementia and will be dead soon. Then HIS kid will inheret team and sell them to LA owner.

NFC East

Dallas-Jerry Jones. Real entrepeneur oil guy.

New York Giants-John Mara. Outlived his billionaire, insanely rich dad Wellington Mara and inhereted team. Steve Tisch. Outived his dad, Hollywood guy Bob Tisch, and inherited half the team.

Philadelphia-Jeffrey Lurie. Former Hollywood producer. Made a total of four movues including “I Love You to Death (which ruined Kevin Kline’s career) and V.I. Warshowski (which ruined Kathleen Turner’s career.) Other flicks were “Foxfire” (not to be confused with Eastwood’s “Firefox”) which is based on a Joyce Carol Oates book and the Don Johnson vehicle “Sweet Heart’s Dance.” Actually ruined the Miami Vice actor’s movie “career” as well. Produced one network tv series called “Malibu Shores.” That program aired for part of ONE season. Hasn’t had a theatrically released movie since 1996.

Washington-Dan Snyder. Did make his own billions but was kicked off the board of Six Flags after ruining that company. Personally cost Bill Gates $122 million.

NFC Central

Chicago-Bears are owned by Virginia Halas McCaskey, the 88-year-old daughter of George Halas.  He was born in 1895.

Detroit-William Clay Ford. Managed to outlive his grandfather Henry Ford. Of course, this wasn’t very tough since he was born in 1863. Still, since Henry Ford had so many heirs, William Clay Ford had to struggle by. Until he married Harvey Firestone’s daughter.

Green Bay-Owned by city.

Minnesota-Zygi Wilf. Former used car salesman turned mall magnate. Actually, his real business isn’t doing so well with the crash of the real estate market.

NFC South

Atlanta-Arthur Blank. WAS a great businessman. Co-founded Home Depot. However, they fired him in 1978.

Carolina-Jerry Richardson. Former NFL player who retired from the Colts over a $250 contract dispute. Co-owned the first Hardee’s which specialized in selling 15 cent hamburgers. Eventually became the 95th biggest Denny’s franchisee where the NFL plucked him out of obscurity because he was a former player and the league wanted a Southern team.

New Orleans-Tom Benson. Longtime New Orleans car dealer and bank owner. Sold all his banks to Wells Fargo in 1996. Bought Saints in 1985 for $70 million in 1985. Team is now worth over $1 billion. Almost abandoned city after Hurricane Katrina but managed to screw state out of millions of dollars in blackmail money.

Tampa Bay-Malcolm Glazer. Despised owner on two continents. Least popular owner in English soccer history after destroying historic Manchester United franchise. Known as a corporate raider, Glazer took over George W. Bush’s oil business as well as Manchester United.

NFC West-

Arizona-Bill Bidwell. Bow-tied douche is one of the most notoriously cheap and awful owners in NFL history. Inhereted team from his father who bought the Cardinals in 1932.

San Francisco- Denise DeBartolo York and John York. She and her husband (a retired pathologist) took over 49ers after her brother Eddie DeBartolo went to prison for trying to bribe politcians (like former La. governor Edwin Edwards) and casinos.

St. Louis- Stan Kroenke made all of his money by marrying the daughter of Wal-Mart founder Sam Walton. Daddy-in-law allowed Kroenke’s “real estate company” to have all the surplus lands surrounding Wal-Marts throughout the country then sell them off.

Seattle-Ok. Paul Allen is RICH.

Here’s the breakdown: Of 32 NFL owners, 11 payed absolutely $0 for their franchise. That would be Al Davis, Eddie Debartolo’s sister and eight owners who inherited the club from their dead fathers. Two others paid thousands of dollars for their original (AFL) franchise. The Green Bay Packers are owned by their city. That means 13 teams (of 32) cost their owners $5,000 or less. They are also the sole means of income for their owners.

Four other NFL owners did absolutely nothing of value in their lives but did inherit their daddy’s or family’s money. Add Stan Kroenke who made his fortune marrying rich.

Six other NFL owners were titans of industry but have now basically given up all other business operations except their football teams. That leaves a total of 10 owners who are involved in major companies in any way. TEN whole owners who do anything in the world other than own a football team to earn money.

By the way, the league has some $4 billion in work stoppage insurance. Whether there is a single NFL game played or not in 2011, each owner will pocket their tv money. On average, every NFL franchise earns an estimated $20 million in profits each year. By shutting down the league with a lockout each team will take in $124 million ($4 billion divided by 32) with virtually no expenses. In other words, each NFL team makes an extra $100 million in 2011 by NOT playing football.

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