MEMO TO NITWIT CRIMINALS: STOP ROBBING VEGAS STRIP CASINOS

LATEST ALLEGED CHIP THIEF “MASTERMIND” STEVEN GAO

Dude! Once again, you’re not Danny Ocean.

Yet another bungling Las Vegas would-be casino chip thief has learned the hard way that crime doesn’t pay. At least not on the Las Vegas Strip. However horrifically inept Metro is at solving other major crimes, they are 100% at getting major strip casinos their heisted poker chips back.

In the latest strip robbery, a man wearing a “fedora, fake mustache and sunglasses” pulled a stickup at the Rio All-Suites Hotel & Casino, scooping up $33,000 in chips off a pai gow table after pulling a gun on the dealer. The man then ran through the casino making his getaway by jumping into a speeding cab.

The thief was identified in less than three hours because the cab driver (using his own cab and real license plates) was in on the heist. The getaway driver also worked at the same cab company with the alleged thief, identified by Metro as Steven Gao. Gao apparently stole the casino chips to a pay off a $15,000 gambling debt to a third moron. He and the cabbie were caught red-handed and immediately rolled over on Gao. Gao is now on the run after most of the chips were already recovered.

Earlier this month, Anthony Carleo was nabbed in the “Bellagio Bandit” case. In a daring robberry wearing a blackened motorcycle visor in December, Carleo allegedly made off with $1.5 million in high end $25,000 casino chips called “cranberries” (and $0 in cash.) He then sped off on a motorcycle, apparently making a clean, unidentifiable getaway.

Unfortunately for Carleo, despite his daring, he also happens to be a complete goddamn moron. When the casino announced they were going to stop honoring the “Cranberry” chips, a desperate Carleo was caught trying to fence the hot chips to undercover Vegas cops.Twice. This was after Carleo drunkenly bragged to patrons in a Colorado bar that he had committed the robbery. Carleo also e-mailed an autographed photo of the stolen chips to a stranger to “prove” he had ripped off the casino. The guy immediately called the FBI.

Carleo wasn’t too hard to track down. He was actually staying at the scene of the crime when he was arrested in a room he had been COMPED at the Bellagio. How did the guy who stole from the casino end up with a free room? Because after he sold his million-and-a-half in hot casino chips for $75,000, Carleo lost $85,000 gambling. AT THE SAME CASINO. That made him -$10,000 after pulling off the million dollar plus robbery.

Jesus Christ, Las Vegas has some stupid criminals!

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