Photo of the woman who shoved 54 bags of heroin and $51.22 into her vagina

KARIN MACKALIUNAS: TA DA THE ARISTOCRATS

A 27-year-old Scranton, Pennsylvania woman has been hit with drug charges after police found “54 bags of heroin, 31 empty bags used to package heroin, 8.5 prescription pills and $51.22 stuffed inside her vagina.

Local Pennsylvania press has been trying to outscoop each other on details of the story while at the same time struggling over how to phrase the word “vagina” in a family paper.  The Wilkes Barre paper preferred the term “body cavity” while the Scranton paper chose to use the phrase that the woman put the drugs “inside herself.”

Meanwhile, phillyburbs.com had the most penetrating vagina reporting. They revealed that the drugs found inside the woman were Xanax and even had the brand of heroin the woman shoved inside herself (“Black Magic.”) Phillyburbs also had details of Mackaliunas’arrest. After police arrested her with three bags of heroin, they noticed her moving around “suspiciously” in the back of the squad car. First, police observed her putting “her hands inside her underwear.” The cops then noticed “instead of getting the drugs out, she was attempting to shove them inside.”

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