Archive for October, 2011
Shockingly, when singer Amy Winehouse died July 23rd it turned out NOT to be from a drug overdose. However, a London coroner has still ruled her passing to be “death by misadventure.”
Winehouse had over five times the legal limit (over 0.4) of alcohol in her system at the time of her death. Winehouse was such a prolific boozer that at the age of 23 somebody once snapped a picture of her WEARING AN ADULT DIAPER during a night out on the town. The singer wanted wanted option of sitting in one spot and pissing herself rather take time off from her drinking to use a bathroom!
Breaking Bad is the best show on television. Season Four ended Sunday with a bang. Literally.
In a climactic final battle, Walter White orchestrates the death of arch-enemy, drug dealer Gus Fring (played by actor Gus Esposito.) Walter tricks Gus into going to a nursing home where he blows him up. Watch Gus’ demise-truly one of the greatest tv death scenes EVER:
Oh, those onerous government regulations!
Tyranny, I say! Thanks to freedom-hating government facists, little people in the state of Florida have been deprived of their Constitutional right to earn a living in “dwarf tossing” contests. The state of Florida actually passed a law banning dwarf tossing back in the’80s. However, Republican state legislator Ritch Workman is about to change all that. Workman has actually introduced a bill to re-legalize dwarf tossing in the state of Florida. Seriously. Take that, you Maoist government officials!
Naturally, although he claims not to be anti-midget, Workman claims that when dwarf tossing is outlawed only outlaws will have dwarves. Or something like that. Workman claims,
“All that does is prevent some dwarfs from getting jobs they would be happy to get. This is an example of Big Brother government.”
Perhaps BIG brother is a poor choice of words, but you get Workman’s point. He called the anti-dwarf tossing law a burden “on the freedom and liberties of people.” And a job killer.
Country music singer Hank Williams Jr. has officially been fired by ESPN and Monday Night Football. Williams, you’ll recall, had his opening theme song pulled from this week’s MNF game after he compared President Obama to Hitler during a Fox News appearance..
On his website, Hank Jr. claimed he “quit” rather than being fired. Williams said he did so because ESPN “stepped on the toes of the First Amendment Freedom of Speech” therefore “Me, My Song and All My Rowdy Friends are OUTTA HERE.”
Like most Tea Party and Fox News afficianados, Williams is an even worse Constitutional scholar than he is a singer. The First Amendment, of course, doesn’t protect your right of free speech from ESPN. It prevents the GOVERNMENT from restricting your right to free speech. ESPN is free to fire Williams for any reason it wants-because he’s fat, was drunk while representing their organization at 6:00 am or because he offended millions of people who are not from the South or watch Fox News.
Williams will now have to go back to making all his money from selling Confederate flag memorabilia off his website. Mainly since he is currently booked for ZERO appearances for the rest of 2011 or 2012 as a singer.
Still, simply being a racist and knowing nothing about The Constitution does apparently qualify Williams to be the next U.S. Senator from the great state of Tennessee. So, he’s got that going for him.