Hooker killing spree thwarths Craig James Senate run

Poor Craig James. His transition from imbecilic college football announcer to unemployment is now officially complete.

James yesterday lost his bid to become a U.S. Senator from Texas, finishing in a distant fourth place in the state’s Republican primary. In fact, James managed only 4% of the vote. How did a conservative former star Texas athlete and ESPN “celebrity” get trounced so badly, even if it was only his first election? One analysis points out that James “was an unknown to many and not liked by those who did.”

Why was Craig James hated by so many people? James himself addressed that topic in an interview last month. Any Google search also reveals an amazing number of articles trashing James from one article detailing how he wet the bed into his teens to others detailing his alleged constant adultery. All of this anti-Craig James media is fascinating (seriously, look it up) but none of it is as awesome as the headlines generated by James over one particular urban legend.

That’s right, there’s an urban legend that James killed five hookers when he attended SMU. While at the school, James took so much money from boosters ($30,000 in 1977 dollars) that he killed not just the hookers but SMU’s entire football program. The team received the NCAA Death Penalty.

Too bad ESPN has already stated they will never rehire James who is known as:

a) one the cheatingest amateur athlete in the history of America

b) arguably the worst voter in the history of the college football media poll

and c) now a guy who lost an election based in part on a five-dead-hookers Internet urban legend.

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