Archive for the ‘airlines’ Category

United named America’s “meanest” airline

April 10, 2011

United Airlines came in last

UNFRIENDLY SKIES

Using a host of federal statistics, United Airlines has been named America’s “meanest” airline in a recent report. The report rated airlines based on number of complaints, outrageous charges, passengers bumped, mishandled baggage, flights that were laste and poor safety.

Additionally, four major airlines made the list of “18 Worst Companies in America.” In fact, United was named the second worst company in America.

JET BLUE FLIGHT ATTENDANT PULLS OFF GREATEST JOB RESIGNATION IN RECENT HISTORY

August 10, 2010

STEVEN SLATER

Monday, an unruly New York flier called the wrong flight attendant a “mother f*****er.”

During a Jet Blue flight arriving in New York, the passenger exchanged words with a flight attendant named Steven Slater. Things escalated with the eventual result being Slater getting on the plane’s intercom and announcing:

“To the f—ing ass —- who told me to ‘f– off’,’ it’s been a good 28 years!”

Slater then quit his job in spectacular fashion. He grabbed two beers off an in-flight cart, PULLED THE PLANE’S EMERGENCY CHUTE, slid down the slide, got into his car and drove home.

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Slater’s meltdown was so epic even MTV described it as “seriously rock and roll.” The always helpful New York tabloids came up with this juicy detail-when police came to Slater’s house to arrest him he was in bed with his boyfriend.

Slater is alternately being portrayed as a hero or a nut depending on the source.

FORMER FLIGHT ATTENDANT STEVEN SLATER HAS SEATBELT FASTENED AND IS RETURNED TO UPRIGHT POSITION BY PORT AUTHORITY COPS

MORE AIRLINE ATROCITIES

July 7, 2010

There were a pair of incredible incidents involving U.S. airlines yesterday. First, four guns from the security detail of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s went missing on an American Airlines flight. The Israeli agents checked their Glock 9 mm’s on a flight from New York’s JFK International Airport to Washington D.C. American Airlines officials then screwed up and sent the bags to Los Angeles where the guns were stolen.

Maggots on a plane:

Meanwhile, a U.S. Airways flight from Atlanta to Charlotte was grounded after maggots started falling on passengers from the overhead bin. Somebody had brought rotted meat onboard the plane. ABC even has video of the maggots.

VEGAS AIRPORT SEEKS TO PUT LIQUOR STORE IN BAGGAGE CLAIM AREA

February 18, 2010

McCarran International Airport in Las Vegas has formally applied to the county for permission to put a liquor store in their baggage claim area. No other U.S. airport sells alcohol in THEIR BAGGAGE CLAIM AREA.

Sixty five percent of readers responding to a Las Vegas Sun poll said they favored an in-airport liquor store.

FATGATE CONTINUES

February 16, 2010

KEVIN SMITH

The Twitter war between Hollywood director Kevin Smith and Southwest Air continues unabated. Smith was thrown off an Oakland-Burbank, CA flight on Sunday for being “too fat.” The two sides have basically been exchanging insults and Tweets non-stop ever since.

Somebody from Southwest leaked that Smith weighs 490 pounds (doubtful.) Meanwhile, Smith claims the airline called him personally and didn’t apologize but only offered him a $100 voucher for his inconvenience. Smith also complains, “Now I’m gonna carry this Too Fat To Fly s- around like herpes for the rest of my life.” Some idiot on Twitter pulled the Rosa Parks card and actually hyped Smith as a modern-day Martin Luther King Jr. for fat people.

Unbelievably, BOTH sides appear to be winning. Smith hasn’t had a hit movie in literally over a generation (16 years.) With this incident, he’s gotten thousands of articles of free publicity for his upcoming Bruce Willis movie “Cop Out.” Who even knew Bruce Willis and Kevin Smith had a movie coming out? Hopefully, the publicity over “Fatgate” will draw more moviegoers than Smith’s  last publicity stunt. During the release of his generally funny but box office flop “Zach and Miri Make a Porno,” which starred Seth Rogen, Smith admitted that he suffers from “morbid obesity” and is so fat once broke a toilet off the wall. Shockingly, that admission didn’t draw the youth market to Smith’s movie.

Now, Smith has made virtually every newspaper and website in the country thanks only to his fatness. However, Gawker called Smith’s Tweets over the Southwest debacle his “best writing” in years. Besides, it’s not like the geniuses at Warner Brothers marketing “Cop Out” have hit a gold mine with their tagline “Rock Out With Your Glock Out.”

Meanwhile, Southwest is getting some free pub as well and a recent poll showed 58% of people back the airline in the dispute. After all, who hasn’t sat next to a fat, disgusting load on an airplane? Particularly, while flying on Southwest.

UNITED AIRLINES SCREWED WITH THE WRONG BAND PART 2

August 20, 2009

sonsOFmaxwell

 

The Canadian band Sons of Maxwell became YouTube sensations earlier this year when they released a music video on YouTube about how United irlines broke their guitar. The song was straightforwardly titled “United Breaks Guitars.”

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The first song received over five million hits and became an all-time YouTube classic. Now the band is out with their followup- “United Breaks Guitars Song 2.”

 

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This time the band ridicules the United Airlines “customer service” agent who denied their original claim on the broken guitar.

UNITED AIRLINES SCREWED WITH THE WRONG BAND

July 9, 2009

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The Canadian band Sons of Maxwell is now a YouTube sensation. And they owe it all to the incompetence of United Airlines.

Last year, during a flight to Nebraska to play a gig, a member of the band had his $3,500 Taylor guitar broken by a United baggage handler. After nearly a year of complaining, the airline refused to pay for the guitar or do anything. Songwriter Dave Carroll responded by vowing to write three songs about United breaking his guitar and posting them on YouTube. The first video was just posted.

The response to the song was immediate. The video, entitled “United Broke My Guitar,” got 250,000 hits the first day and a half. In response, United freaked out and the band is now famous.

United Airlines is scum. That’s known by anyone who has ever flown. Not only are they probably  the most expensive airline, but every year they are at or near the top of the list of customer complaints. Throw in the fact that it was just announced that the airline now charges $1 billion a year in  added on “fees” and that’s reason enough to never use that airline. Unfortunately, most airlines are just as bad.

The website airlinecomplaints.org has an entire section devoted just to complaints just about United.

 

sonsOFmaxwell

THE CANADIAN FOLK BAND “SONS OF MAXWELL” IS A YOUTUBE SENSATION WITH THEIR SONG “UNITED BREAKS GUITARS”

AIRLINE STARTS SPECIAL MANNY FARE

March 6, 2009

jetblue

 

JetBlue Airways is starting a special $ 99 fare for Dodger fans of outfielder Manny Ramirez. The rate is good for California residents flying from either Long Beach or Burbank to Manny’s hometown of New York. The fare is also good on flights from California to Boston, in honor of Ramirez’s previous employers, the Boston Red Sox.

 

mannymoves

THE LAST ENDORSEMENT DEAL MANNY RAMIREZ HAD FROM A TRAVEL COMPANY WASN’T NEARLY SO SWEET

AIRLINE ATROCITY OF THE DAY: BUDGET CARRIER CHARGES DOUBLE AMPUTEE FOR HIS SPARE LEGS-CLAIM THEY’RE “CARRY ON”

November 4, 2008

jet2

 

According to the Daily Mail, the British discount airline Jet2 actually charged a man who is a double amputee for bringing his legs on a flight.