Archive for the ‘auto racing’ Category

Epic Indy 500 choke job

May 29, 2011

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Watch rookie driver JR Hildebrand pull one of the biggest choke jobs in sports history as he inexplicably hits the wall in the final turn of the Indianapolis 500. Hildebrand was leading the race before the crackup.

Worse, Hildebrand was driiving the National Guard car. On Memorial Day. Ouch!

MOST OF HILDEBRAND’S CAR EVENTUALLY CROSSES THE FINISH LINE

Danica Patrick can swear like a man

March 21, 2011

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Danica Patrick gestures after an incident in the NASCAR Nationwide Series Scotts EZ Seed 300 at Bristol Motor Speedway on Saturday in Bristol, Tenn. (Photo by Geoff Burke/Getty Images for NASCAR)

DANICA PATRICK BOOED AT INDY

May 23, 2010

 

DANICA PATRICK

Danica Patrick is by far the most popular driver on the IndyCar tour. You couldn’t tell it from the fan reaction this weekend.

Patrick was booed lustily after a mediocre performance during qualifying runs for the Indianapolis 500. Fans were annoyed at Patrick for whining about her crew and throwing the entire team under the bus.

SMARTEST GUY IN NASACAR IS STILL A MORON

March 29, 2010

 

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Ryan Newman is the only NASCAR driver with a college degree. Newman received a B.S. in structural engineering from Purdue.

Yet, he’s an idiot.

Newman recently gave an interview where he said that he was “pretty sure” the 1969 Apollo moon landing was faked. Newman based his conclusion on a tv documentary he saw where: “The flag (planted on the moon by astronauts) was standing straight out when there’s no wind out there.”

Of course, had Newman spent 15 minutes watching the Discovery Channel instead of Fox, he would have found out it took the guys from MythBusters less than one episode to fly a flag in a vacuum and PROVE we landed on the moon.

Apparently, the mechanical engineering department at Purdue, Newman’s alma matre, doesn’t teach its students about basic concepts like inertia and momentum. Also, it’s hilarious that Purdue University just happened to conduct the number one moon-landing-conspiracy debunking study ever published. Basically, that study concluded only idiots believe we never walked on the moon.

Never the less, up to 28% of Americans believe all of the Apollo launches were faked and we never walked on the moon.

BOY,IS “DANCING WITH THE STARS” CONTESTANT BUZZ ALDRIN GONNA BE PISSED-THE 80-YEAR-OLD ASTRONAUT ONE PUCHED OUT A GUY WHO ACCOSTED HIM ABOUT THE MOON LANDING BEING FAKED

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DANICA PATRICK FINISHES SIXTH

February 7, 2010

 

Danica Patrick finished sixth in her stock car debut. Patrick was able to impressively steer her #7 Go Daddy car out of a spin after being bumped by  another driver. The SPEED Network focused almost exclusively on Patrick during the entire ARCA race which was held at the Daytona International Speedway.

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DANICA PATRICK RUNS HER FIRST ARCA RACE TODAY

February 6, 2010

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Danica Patrick, already arguably the most sucessful female driver in history, makes her stock car debut at Saturday’s ARCA race at the Daytona International Speedway.

81-YEAR-OLD RUNS IN NASCAR EVENT

July 20, 2009

HERSHEL MCGRIFF

Holy crap!

As Deadspin.com asks, what’s a scarier prospect for NASCAR drivers? The prospect of having to race at 200 mph and sharing the track with a guy on meth or racing against someone who first started racing in the Truman administration.

Hershel McGriff is 81. He not only competed in the NASCAR Camping World West event in Portland this weekend but he finished the race in 13th place.

McGriff used to race in NASCAR and actually won four races. He later moved to Oregon and competed in races in the West where he won another 37 times. McGriff was eventually inducted into the Motorsports Hall of Fame.

FORMULA ONE HEAD: “HITLER WAS EFFICIENT”

July 4, 2009

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BERNIE ECCLESTONE

Formula One head Bernie Ecclestone has complimented both Adolph Hitler and Saddam Hussein in an interview with the Times of London.

According to the paper, Ecclestone had “chastised contemporary politicians for their weakness and extolled the virtues of strong leadership” when he was quoted as saying, “Hitler was efficient.”

In the same interview, Ecclestone said “we did a terrible thing” in getting rid of Saddam Hussein because, “He was the only one who could control that country.”

The 78-year-old billionaire had previously been in trouble with womens groups for saying, “women should dressed in white like all the other domestic appliances.”

Ecclestone also suggested fellow auto racing head and sexual deviant Max Mosley would make a great Prime Minister. Mosley supported Nazis in his own way. He was photograped last year dressing up in Nazi bondage gear with FIVE hookers.

 

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ECCLESTONE ALSO COMPLIMENTED FELLOW RACING EXEC MAX MOSLEY WHO MADE A NAZI SEX BONDAGE TAPE WITH PROSTITUTES, SAYING HE WOULD MAKE A “GREAT” PRIME MINISTER

DANICA PATRICK TO NASCAR RUMORS HEATING UP

June 29, 2009

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DANICA PATRICK

Several Internet and newspaper outlets are running stories about popular female Indy Car driver Danica Patrick possibly making the switch to NASCAR. The articles range from Patrick replacing Dale Earnhardt Jr. at Hendrick Motor Sports to the economic shot in the arm she might provide to sagging NASCAR attendance numbers.

DANICA PATRICK: IF YOU’RE NOT CHEATING, YOU’RE NOT TRYING

June 3, 2009

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DANICA PATRICK

Indy car driver Danica Patrick was asked by SI recently if she could take a performance-enhancing drug and not get caught, would she do it if it allowed her to win the Indianapolis 500? Patrick’s response,

 

“Well, then it’s not cheating, is it? If nobody finds out.”