Archive for the ‘baseball’ Category

Baseball’s Mel Gibson returns to field

May 7, 2012

Delmon Young at his arraignment tonight.

The only player in MLB history ever to be charged with a hate crime is back in action for the Detroit Tigers. Outfielder Delmon Young was arrrested April 27th after shoving a homeless man 100 pounds lighter than himself and screaming, “Fucking Jew!” at the man in a “drunken” rampage. Young apparently targeted the homeless man because he was wearing a yarmulke.

Wilmer Valderrama: living off Derek Jeter’s leftovers

March 28, 2012

Former “That ’70s Show” co-star Wilmer Valderrama has gotten more celebrity ass than any B-Lister in Hollywood history over the years. Among the actresses and celebrities that Walderrama has slept with are Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Ashlee Simpson, Avril Laigne, Mandy Moore and Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Now, apparently Valderrama is curently bedding actess MinkaKelly, Yankee shortstop Derek Jeter’s longtime chick. Kelly and Jeter hae apparently split again after biefly reconciling recently. US Weekly recently spotted Valderrama and Kelly making out in a West Hollywood club. They also reportedly went to Las Vegas together.

Website posts awesome retro SI cover

March 8, 2012

Beckett to Red Sox teammates: Stop Snitching

February 29, 2012

Do you know what the problem is with America today? There’s NO SHAME.

For instance, Boston Red Sox pitcher Josh Beckett should die of shame. The fat, chicken-eating drunken choker is one of the main reasons the Red Sox pulled off one of the biggest choke jobs in baseball history last season. On October 12th, the Boston Globe detailed how Beckett and fellow Boston hurlers John Lackey and Jon Lester behaved abhorrently last September. They ate chicken and drank beer during games and often snuck out of the dugout during Red Sox games, abandoning their teammates to do so.

Fenway fans were appalled. News of the pitchers’ behavior cost Boston manager Terry Francona his job. Keep in mind Francona not only won the Red Sox first World Series title in nine decades, he won TWO World Championships. Yet, more than any other human being, Beckett’s drunken, slovenly behavior cost Francona his job.

Now, there’s a new sheriff in town. One of new manager Bobby Valentine’s first actions was to ban alcohol from the Boston clubhouse this season. Keep in mind the ban is almost entirely Beckett’s fault. Instead of manning up and keeping his mouth shut, Beckett is reacting with rage. Against “snitches.”

In an interview on radio station WEEI’s website, Beckett opens Spring Training talking about the Red Sox beer/alcolhol ban saying: “This is stupid. I don’t see what the big deal is. Somebody was trying to save their own ass, and it probably cost a lot of people their asses. The snitching shit, that’s bullshit.”

Eloquently put. What a clueless idiot.

Beckett can’t claim he was misquoted. The entire interview is on tape. He is getting torched for his snitches-get-stitches attitude. In the “comments”section of an article on the topic, the portly, chicken chewing pitcher is being called a “douchebag.” Beckett is also being labled “cream puff,” “clown,” and “arrogant bastard.”

Yes! Acquitted (by technicality) PED user Ryan Braun addresses the herpes rumors

February 24, 2012

At today’s completely indignant press conference, a defiant and condescending Ryan Braun lashed out at Major League Baseball for their idiotic drug testing chain of custody policies.

You’ll recall that just days after being named the National League MVP it was reported that Braun faced a possible 50 games suspension for a positive PED/steroid test. Braun denied ever taking performance enhancing drugs and immediately appealed his positive drug test.

An MLB arbitor overturned Braun’s suspension yesterday. The suspension was overturned primarily because rather than sealing Braun’s urine test and immediately mailing it off to the lab, the official MLB drug tester took the piss home with him for the weekend and stuck it in the fridge. Seriously!

However, one of the most interesting aspects of the story is at today’s press conference Braun INSISTED to address the Ryan-Braun-has-herpes rumors that have been circling the Internet. Yes, Braun himself made it a point to say he’s never had an STD. On record in front of a bank of microphones.

See for yourself. It’s at the 3:48 mark of this tape:



“Relapsing” Josh Hamilton apparently had anonymous sex in a restaurant bathroom stall

February 11, 2012


Poor Mrs. Josh Hamilton. She has stuck by her husband, Texas Rangers outfielder and former AL MVP Josh Hamilton, through years of his addictions to alcohol, crack and heroin. Now, she’ being publicly humiliated. Again.

Hamilton’s feel-good story of overcoming addiction (mostly) has been well chronicled by the national media. Particularly since he has played in the national spotlight during each of the last two seasons in the World Series. However, Hamilton has had two very public and very humiliating relapses. The first came in 2009 when Hamilton was photographed doing shots and licking whipped cream off a girl’s breasts in a bar. Hamilton’s latest drunken fiasco occured January 30th.

Although Hamilton has publicly admitted indiscretions and even addressed the second matter with a press conference, he didn’t provide any details about the incident. Don’t worry, the website has. Deadspin, which was not able to ruin Hamilton’s marriage with their 2009 photos, has a posting that will probably torch the Hamilton’s relationship. The story tells about Hamilton having anonymous sex with a woman who was a complete stranger. The sex allegedly occured in the restaurant’s mens room following a rousing bout of karaoke.

Deadspin also reported on a rumor that somebody tried to sell a Dallas tv station a camera phone “sex tape” of the encounter.

Yankees GM sex/blackmail scandal

February 4, 2012

Mrs. Brian Cashman is out at home. What is it with New York baseball general managers?

After Steve Phillips basically scandalized himself out of his job as Mets GM and his ESPN gig, current Yankees general manager Brian Cashman has involved himself in a blackmail/sex scandal.  

You know Cashman must have been doing some pretty heinous shit if the New York Post devoted its entire front cover to his affairs Saturday even with the city’s team scheduled to play in the Super Bowl TOMMOROW. The Post has an “exclusive” detailing how and why Cashman’s wife has filed for divorce.

Details of Cashman’s affairs have slowly dripped out all week after ran a post where they interviewed his latest mistress, Louise Neathway. Deadspin even posted audio of that interview. Among the highlights: a spurned Neathway literally starts the interview by saying,”Fuck him.” Neathway also allowed Deadspin to photograph Cashman’s black pajama bottoms and orange toothbrush he used when he spent nights with her.  

Deadspin sleazemerchant A.J.Daulerio cleverly titled his article on the Neathway/Casman affair, “Dear Brian Cashman, I am wearing your pajama pants in your mistress’s living room.”

Daulerio is the guy responsible for posting photos of Brett Favre’s penis. He used those journalistic chops to secure his current job as editor of Daulerio had also previously run intimate photos of Cashman with his rookie mistress, a married woman named Kimberly Brennan. Deadspin titled that article “Brian’s Dong.”

Meanwhile, Neathway called Cashman wife on Wednesday and told her all the filthy details of what she has been doing with her husband. Neathway was actually arrested the next day and charged with grand larceny, harassment and stalking. Cashman went to authories and told them Neathway was trying to extort money from him. He claimed she had been threatening to go public with details of their affair and damage his reputation unless he coughed up $15,000. A broke Neathway couldn’t make bail and is curently in jail on Riker’s Island.

Ryan Braun herpes rumors picking up steam

January 9, 2012

What a terrible offseason for National League MVP Ryan Braun. First news came out that the Milwaukee Brewers outfielder tested positive for steroids and faces a possible 50 game suspension. Like all juicing athletes, Braun is proclaiming his innocence. However, in his case, if Braun’s defense is accurate it might worsen his image.

Yes, Ryan Braun is apparently going to play the herpes card in an attempt to get out of his PED suspension. Multiple baseball and gossip websites are reporting that Braun’s astronomically high steroids level are a result of his genital herpes medication. The mainstream media has not picked up on the rumors based on the scummy and absolutely charming sources reporting the story. 

So far even Wikipedia and scandal sites like aren’t even touching the Ryan-Braun-has-the-herp story. Although Braun’s camp did issue a statement about a “private medical issue” and “unusual circumstances.”

Hall of Fame baseball writer accused of serial child molestation

December 21, 2011


Longtime Philadelphia Daily News baseball columnist Bill Conlin immediately retired from the newspaper yesterday after being accused by four people of molesting them while they were children in the ’70s. One of the accusers is Conlin’s own niece.

Pennsylvania prosecutors say even though Conlin allegedly abused “so many people” through the years they were unable to bring a case because of the statute of limitations.

In addition to his newspaper column, Conlin worked for years at The Sporting News and ESPN.

Jeter: Ladies, thanks for the sex-here’s a lovely parting gift

December 14, 2011

Legendary New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter is back on the free agent market. At least when it comes to chicks. After recently dumping hottie actress Minka Kelly, today’s New York Post claims Jeter has recently dated a “bevy” of beauties whom he beds at his Trump Tower apartment.

According to the Post, Jeter is quite the gentleman. In the morning Jeter provides his girls with free car service. Best of all, those lucky ladies get a “gift basket” complete with signed Jeter memorabilia (including an autographed baseball!)

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