Archive for the ‘holidays’ Category
Sarah Palin got out as Alaska governor just in time. Now, she doesn’t have to be the one to lay off Santa’s elves.
For the past 55 years, volunteers in the tiny town of North Pole, Alaska have had a very special job. Since 1954, they were the people responsible for answering the majority of the U.S. Postal Service’s letters addressed to Santa Claus. Each year hundreds of thousands of letters sent by American children to “Santa Claus, North Pole” were personally answered by those volunteers. Each child received an actual letter back in the mail postmarked “North Pole” and signed by one of “Santa’s elves.” Additionally, thousands more people were able to have an official “North Pole” postmark on their Christmas cards.
The program was world famous. Sadly, the U.S. Postal Service decided to end that program in North Pole this year. The demise of it was equal parts the fault of one pervert and one politician. Most of the blame is being layed at the feet of one sex offender. A man who was a registered sex offender was found to be working in a similar “Letters to Santa” USPS program in Maryland last year. Although the man never actually wrote any letters back to children, his discovery led to draconian new regulations put in place by the Postal Service. No volunteer is now allowed to see the actual children’s letters to Santa. Instead, a complex “coding system” was set up for volunteers to answer omitting each child’s last name and address. But, not for the volunteers in North Pole to see. They were specifically targeted for elimination.
Last year, when he was running for president, Sen. John McCain attacked the Letters to Santa program and singled it out as a government boondoggle and a “pork barrel” project. On his stump speech, McCain regularly derided a government program that gave money to “Santa’s elves.” The result: already facing a shortfall of billions of dollars, the Postal Service pulled the plug on the North Pole volunteers who worked FOR FREE.
The citizens of North Pole mailed Sen. McCain an actual lump of coal which was delivered to his U.S. Senate office. Meanwhile, four members of the Alaska congressional delegation (Republican and Democrat) are trying to get Letters to Santa restored in time for Christmas this year. Until then, your child WILL NOT be getting a letter back from Santa this year and the government courageously saved .0000000000000001 percent of its budget.
Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!
BOUND FOR HELL?
According to an article on the Christian Broadcast Network website, candy is a source of “soul molestation” and “most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches.”
Those are just two of the astonishingly insane allegations made by “guest writer” Kimberly Daniels in a post she wrote for CBN. The article generated so much ridicule, after it was exposed by The Huffington Post, that it was removed from the CBN website.
Also, according to Daniels, your children are subject to curses that are transmitted through candy,
- Sex with demons
- Orgies between animals and humans
- Animal and human sacrifices
- Sacrificing babies to shed innocent blood
- Rape and molestation of adults, children and babies
- Revel nights
- Conjuring of demons and casting of spells
- Release of “time-released” curses against the innocent and the ignorant
THE RIVERS RUN GREEN AT THE VENETIAN ON ST. PATTY’S DAY IN LAS VEGAS