Archive for the ‘music’ Category

Just the way she would have wanted to go…

October 28, 2011

Shockingly, when singer Amy Winehouse died July 23rd it turned out NOT to be from a drug overdose. However, a London coroner has still ruled her passing to be “death by misadventure.”

Winehouse had over five times the legal limit (over 0.4) of alcohol in her system at the time of her death. Winehouse was such a prolific boozer that at the age of 23 somebody once snapped a picture of her WEARING AN ADULT DIAPER during a night out on the town. The singer wanted wanted option of sitting in one spot and pissing herself rather take time off from her drinking to use a bathroom!

Hank Williams Jr. is taking his Confederate flag and going home

October 7, 2011

Country music singer Hank Williams Jr. has officially been fired by ESPN and Monday Night Football. Williams, you’ll recall, had his opening theme song pulled from this week’s MNF game after he compared President Obama to Hitler during a Fox News appearance..

On his website, Hank Jr. claimed he “quit” rather than being fired. Williams said he did so because ESPN “stepped on the toes of the First Amendment Freedom of Speech” therefore “Me, My Song and All My Rowdy Friends are OUTTA HERE.”

Like most Tea Party and Fox News afficianados, Williams is an even worse Constitutional scholar than he is a singer. The First Amendment, of course, doesn’t protect your right of free speech from ESPN. It prevents the GOVERNMENT from restricting your right to free speech. ESPN is free to fire Williams for any reason it wants-because he’s fat, was drunk while representing their organization at 6:00 am or because he offended millions of people who are not from the South or watch Fox News.

Williams will now have to go back to making all his money from selling Confederate flag memorabilia off his website. Mainly since he is currently booked for ZERO appearances for the rest of 2011 or 2012 as a singer.

Still, simply being a racist and knowing nothing about The Constitution does apparently qualify Williams to be the next U.S. Senator from the great state of Tennessee. So, he’s got that going for him.

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Amy Winehouse dead

July 23, 2011

AMY WINEHOUSE

Singer Amy Winehouse has been found dead in her London apartment according to TMZ.com and several other sources.

Winehouse had a long history of drug and alcohol abuse. This very blog has been guilty of exploiting Winehouse’s substance abuse problems as a source of humor and derision. Winehouse’s life was such a trainwreck that we used to do a feature called the “Daily Amy” where we chronicled the singer’s life. These included stories of her punching concert goers, slurring through racist diatribes after smoking crack, being photographed smoking while being hospitalized for emphysema, shopping for liquor and being caught on tape using heroin,

At first, Winehouse’s drunken, drug-addled behavior was funny. There was the time she was photographed doing shots while babysitting:

And the time she was so wasted that a British tabloid photographed her walking into a post:

Or the time that the paparazzi shot a picture of Winehouse wearing an ADULT DIAPER as she prepared for a night of partying and soiling herself (at the age of 23):

However, Winehouse’s behavior soon became so troublesome and her self destructive death was so inevitable that even we came up with a self-imposed embargo to no longer blog about her pathetic antics. In fact, in a post entitled “Our Last Ever Post on Amy Winehouse,” we wrote that she was a “sad, doomed, pathetic human being” before adding, “She will be dead very soon.” Winehouse managed to live another three plus years after that post.

Amy Winehouse was a very talented and gifted musician. Another artist wiped out by addiction. Ironically, she died at the age of 27. That’s the identical age that Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Kobain and Janice Joplin died at.

R.I.P.

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Update: Tupac is still dead

May 30, 2011

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TUPAC SHAKUR

The PBS website was hacked Sunday night and a fake news story about rapper Tupac Shakur being found alive and living in New Zealand was posted. Tupac died15 years ago.

Latest Lady Gaga song designed to outrage

April 18, 2011

 

The newest Lady Gaga song is drawing howls of protest from conservatives and religious figures throughout the country. The song, which contains the lyrics “I’m still in love with Judas,” has been condemned by the president of the Catholic League for being anti-religious.

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Osbournes homeless?

April 12, 2011

Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne (Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic)

PRINCE OF DARKNESS DEFEATED BY IRS

If you ever watched the old reality tv series “The Osbournes,” you’re familiar with rocker Ozzy Osbourne and his wife Sharon. Most of that television show was shot in the Osbournes sprawling Hollywood mansion. Now, the Osbourne family may be evicted from that mansion.

The IRS has put a lien on the property. The Osbournes owe $1.7 million in back taxes. According to Sharon Osbourne, “You can’t rely on anyone but yourself. You have to be on top of your own business affairs. My fault…lesson learned.”

Disco not dead but was blasted with a shotgun

April 12, 2011

STANISLAW JARMOLOWICZ

An aspiring DJ in California had the speaker of his stereo blasted out with a shotgun wielded by his own father. Stanislaw Jarmolowicz told police that he had asked his son DJ Baas to turn his music down several times or use headphones. When the 24-year-old refused to comply, Jarmolowicz went up to his son’s room with a 16-gauge shotgun and blew the speaker to hell.

According to The Smoking Gun, Jarmolowicz told arriving police he shot the speaker because his son, “was playing his disco to loud.”

Good thing Dimebag Darrell wasn’t alive to see this-Justin Bieber remakes Pantera song

March 4, 2011

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From Riffer Madness to Fever

Former Oasis frontman blasts Radiohead: “It’s a song about a f***ing tree!”

March 3, 2011

image: [ Oasis singer Liam Gallagher will have to find a new airline to fly with after being banned from Cathay Pacific jets ]

LIAM GALLAGHER

Former Oasis lead singer Liam Gallagher knows what it’s like to be a rock star. It’s about hitting your brother/bandmate onstage with a tambourine while you’re high on crystal meth. It’s about cancelling your MTV Unplugged appearance at the last second because you’re too wasted and constantly appearing in the tabloids.

Being a rock star is all about sex, drugs, and being banned for life by airlines. It’s getting in trouble for dissing God and The Beatles and being mistaken for a “vagrant” after yet another fistfight. According to Gallagher, here’s what being a rock star is NOT about: “WRITING A SONG ABOUT A F***ING TREE!!!”

Gallagher blasted fellow English band Radiohead and went off on their single “The King of Limbs.” The song is about a 1,000-year-old tree. Said Gallagher,

“Them writing a song about a f***ing tree? Give me a f***ing break! Go f*** yourself.”

Actually, Gallagher has a point. The following video is spectacularly terrible:

 

WHO KNEW? ERIC CLAPTON IS A RACIST DICK

February 20, 2011

Claptongod_2

Turns out rock star Eric Clapton is NOT god.

On the social news website Reddit “What I Learned Today” section, somebody posted a Wikipedia reference of an old Clapton controversy in which he calls Britain a “white country,” uses repeated racial slurs like “wogs” and “coons,” and suggests England “send back” all of the “bastard wogs.” Clapton added the need to “keep Britain white.” His idiotic comments led directly to the “Rock Against Racism” campaign in 1978.

Clapton was blasted by critics at the time in an open letter which stated, “Come on Eric…Own up. Half your music is black.” The letter also accused Clapton of being “rock music’s biggest colonist.”

Reddit wasn’t the only medium which rekindled the Clapton-is-a-racist meme this week. The weekly Seattle alternative paper The Stranger resurrected an old Clapton quote in which the guitar legend says, “I used to be into dope, now I’m into racism.”  He also said, “England is for white peple, man.”

Here’s the Xtranormal version of Clapton’s rant:

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I’ve always kind of hated Clapton, ever since I paid big money to see him live in concert and he half-assed his way through the gig. At the time, I thought that maybe I was imaginings things. Nope. Clapton has basically admitted what a washed up piece of shit he is. And that was half a decade ago.

Even into the 2000’s, Clapton has said in interviews that his views “haven’t changed,” though he claims not to be a racist. This is WAY worse than the time I found out Bob Dylan “hates hippies.”