Archive for the ‘tennis’ Category

Banned Serena Williams video game commercial

March 26, 2011

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BEST TENNIS INTERVIEW EVER

January 21, 2011

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Kim Clijsters points out to announcer Todd Woodbridge that just because she’s bitchy and her boobs look bigger doesn’t mean she’s pregnant.

ONETIME TEEN TENNIS STAR OVERDOSES

June 28, 2010

JENNIFER  CAPRIATI

Former teenage tennis sensation Jennifer Capriati suffered what is being termed an “accidental overdose” of prescription drugs Sunday. Capriati was reportedly “recovering fully and stably” according to her publicist.

Still only 34, Capriati was once the #1 ranked female player in the world. She won three Grand Slam events and reached the finals of the French Open when she was just 14. However, Capriata’s career faded quickly. She was once called “the poster child for burned-out sports prodigies.”

Subsequent reports are now listing Capriati’s OD as a possible suicide attempt. She was reportedly depressed over her failing tennis comeback and her boyfriend becoming a porn star.

Capriati's former boyfriend Dale Dabone claimed the former tennis star had been hysterical over his decision to resume his porn career. Pictured here with an actress on the set of Batman XXX: A Porn Parody

CAPRIATI’S PORN STAR BOYFRIEND, DALE DABONE

TEEN TENNIS SENSATION IN TROUBLE FOR CALLING WTA PLAYERS “SLUTS”

June 2, 2010

Laura Robson of Great Britain looks on, during her game against Maret Ani of Estonia during the Semi Final of the LTA 75k USD Tournament at the Welti Tennis and Leisure Centre on September 27, 2008 in Shrewsbury, England.

LAURA ROBSON: ALREADY REGRETTING HER “SLUTS” COMMENT

Sixteen-year-old tennis protege Laura Robson of Great Britain has caused quite a stir on the WTA tour. Robson labeled her fellow female tennis players “sluts” in an interview with Vogue UK magazine. Robson literally said some of teen rivals on tour are “sluts” who “go with every guy.”

The WTA has already launched an investigation into “slutgate.”

IT’S OFFICIAL: WORST TENNIS PLAYER IN THE WORLD

May 2, 2010

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ROBERT DEE: OFFICIALLY RULED “THE WORST TENNIS PRO IN THE WORLD” BY A BRITISH COURT

Talk about adding insult to injury! A British judge has upheld a charge by one of the nation’s tabloids. Robert Dee is indeed “The Worst Tennis Player in the World.”

The Daily Telegraph had first dissed Dee in a headline entitled “World’s worst tennis pro wins at last.” Dee finally won after losing 54 consecutive matches on the pro tour. If you include the International Tennis Federation and the ATP, Dee had lost not only an incredible 54 times in a row, but was 0-108 in sets.

 Dee sued under Britains extremely lenient libel laws. He conteneded that if you included the Spanish professional tennis tour, he has beaten numerous opponents. However, when the case got to court the judge observed the truth is the truth. Robert Dee IS in fact “the worst professional tennis player in the world”

Dee and his lawyer had sued or threatened to sue multiple news organizations which ran the story of him being the “worst” tennis player in the world. In fact, some 30 media outlets recanted and printed retractions or apologies to Dee after he and his lawyers threatened to sue. The Washington Post was one of the news organizations that printed an apology. So was Fox Sports.

Hilariously, Dee’s entire website is composed mainly of retractions and apologies that his lawyers beat out of media outlets in response to the “world’s worst” allegations.

AUSTRALIAN OPEN DELAYED BY BALLBOY PEEING HIMSELF

January 19, 2010

Play was suspended for nearly an hour Tuesday at the Australian Open tennis tournament when one of the ballboys peed his pants. The stoppage occurred during a match between Christophe Rochus of Belgium and American Donald Young.

Tournament officials used sawdust and a blower to clean the urine off the court.

REPORT: ANDRE AGASSI USED CRYSTAL METH IN 1997

October 28, 2009

ANDRE AGASSI: ON DRUGS IN 1997

SI.com released excerpts of Andre Agassi’s upcoming biography Tuesday which claim the former superstar used crystal meth early in his professional tennis career. Agassi also says he lied to tennis officials to avoid a lengthy suspension over his drug use. The drug use occurred in 1997-the year Agassi fell to # 141 on the tour.

Agassi retired in 2006 and is now a philanthropic legend in Las Vegas with parks and youth charity foundations named after him.

SERENA WILLIAMS FOOT FAULT HEARD ROUND THE WORLD

September 14, 2009

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It’s being called one of the most controversial endings to a major tennis tournament match in history. Serena Williams was ousted from the U.S. Open and denied a trip to the finals due to a penalty she received for screaming at a line judge.

Williams was constantly called for foot faults in her semi-final match against Kim Clijsters. She finally snapped, charging the line judge and screaming, among other things,

 

“Take this ********* ball and shove it down your ********* throat!”

 

The referee intepreted that as a “threat” and awarded Clijsters a point. Unfortunately, since the incident happened on match point, Williams was declared the loser of the match.

 

SERENA WILLIAMS

RENEE RICHARDS IS A TRANSGENDER DOUCHEBAG

August 27, 2009

Despite a sex-change operation, Renee Richards was allowed to play on the women's circuit. (Getty Images)

DR. RENEE RICHARDS

It turns out the sports world’s first ever transgender professional athlete is a giant hypocrite.

Tennis player Richard Raskin stunned the sports world in the 1970’s when he underwent a sex change operation and decided to compete on the WOMENS professional tennis tour. The newly christened Renee Richards went to court in New York and sued for the right to play tennis as a woman. She won.

Now, some 32 years later, Richards has done an interview with Gregg Doyel of CBSsports.com where she says female track star Caster Semenya should be barred from international competition because she “is too mannish.”

That’s some serious hypocrisy. Worse, Richards is actually a doctor. Her contention is if Semenya was “fueled by” abnormally high levels of testosterone (even if she was born with them) this gives her an unfair advantage over other female runners:

 

“You’re going to develop a skeleton and a muscle mass and a type of muscle that is different from that of a normal woman.”

 

Geeze, kind of like if she was BORN A MAN.

Nevertheless, Richards concludes that Semenya should be banned.

Renee Richards may not have been much of a tennis player, but this puts her in the Hall of Fame of hypocrisy.

IRONY: JASON WHITLOCK QUESTIONS THE SIZE OF SOMEONE’S ASS

July 16, 2009

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JASON WHITLOCK

 

SERENA WILLIAMS’ ASS

 

Saying “God didn’t make cookie cutters,” tennis player Serena Williams has come out to defend herself against a blistering column written by Jason Whitlock last week. Despite winning three of the last four majors in womens tennis and owning 11 Grand Slam titles, Williams found herself on the wrong end of Whitlock’s keyboard.

Whitlock is one of the most entertaining columnists in America. Usually his columns are intelligent, insightful and well-reasoned.

However, the portly one is drawing fire for his most recent column. In his Fox Sports piece, Whitlock claims that Williams could be the greatest tennis player of all-time but she would “rather eat, half-ass her way through non-major tournaments and complain.”

Whitlock says Williams needs “a little less butt and a smidgen more guts.” Whitlock also calls Williams “an underachiever” who lacks courage. He contends that with harder work, Serena Williams “would easily be as big as Michael Jackson, dwarf Tiger Woods and take a run at Rosa Parks.” Whitlock also says Williams could be “Michael Jordan, Jim Brown and Muhammad Ali rolled into one” and “when she’s in shape, she’s every bit as sexy as Beyonce.”

Realising the hypocrisy of his criticizing anyone’s chubbiness, Whitlock concludes his article by saying weight is stopping Serena Williams from “fulfilling her destiny.” Meanwhile, as a sportswriter, Whitlock writes that by being “plump and lazy” himself, he IS actually fulfilling his destiny.

Whitlock also writes, “Big Booty Women-do not write me angry e-mails…”

Yeah, good luck with that.