Posts Tagged ‘Alabama’

YA HAVE SEX WITH A MINIATURE HORSE JUST ONCE…

November 17, 2010

ERIC EASLEY

An Alabama man accused of having sex with a miniature horse has hired “Cowboy Bob” as his lawyer. Eric Easley was arrested earlier this month in Alabama. Authorities say Easley tied a “pint-sized” miniature horse to a pen and sexually abused the animal.

Easley was caught after leaving his wallet behind at the scene of the horse buggery. This left one writer to point out that this means that Easley “isn’t just a guy who rapes horses” but “the dumbest guy in America who rapes horses.”

ALABAMA DOESN’T THINK MUCH OF FANCY BOOK LEARNIN’ AND THE NCAA DOESN’T THINK MUCH OF ALABAMA

October 18, 2009

Earlier this year several sports programs at the University of Alabama were involved in a text book scandal. Athletes were getting (selling?) textbooks for their classmates that they received for free on scholarship.

The NCAA pounded Alabama putting several sports including mens track and tennis on probation and made them forfeit some games from previous seasons. Since the penalties also involved the hallowed Tide football program giving up some wins, Alabama decided to appeal the decision.

This week, the NCAA Committe on Infractions issued its decision and it wasn’t pretty. Not only was Alabama denied in their appeal, but the NCAA went out of their way to publish exactly what they thought of the Alabama program. Among the conclusions the committee made about Alabama were:

 

“Serial repeat offender.”

“Abysmal infractions track record.”

“An institution with an appalling and unprecedented recent infractions history.”

“Extensive recent history of infractions cases … unmatched by any other member institution in the NCAA.”

 

 

As the Birmingham News pointed out, the Alabama football program had better take note because, “Somebody up there in Indianapolis doesn’t like you.”

The paper even brought up the unthinkable-the possibility of the dreaded “death penalty” if there are any more shenanigans by the Alababama football program.

POTENTIAL BCS DISASTER UNFOLDS

October 12, 2009

Quarterback Tim Tebow #15 of the Florida Gators dives for more yardage over Kareem Jackson #3 and Rashad Johnson #49 of the Alabama Crimson Tide during the SEC Championship on December 6, 2008 at the Georgia Dome in Atlanta, Georgia.

Fanhouse.com raises the possibility of an all-SEC BCS Championship Game in a college football column today. Florida and Alabama are currently the #1 and #2 ranked teams in the country. Both teams are currently undefeated. The Tide and Gators won’t face each other in the regular season. They could very well meet in the conference’s Championship Game with Florida coming out of the SEC East and Alabama the West.

However, it’s possible that even with one (or even two) losses, both teams could be re-matched in the BCS Championship Game. That would be a nightmare scenario for the BCS-the exact two teams playing each other 33 days after a completely meaningless SEC Championship Game.

Fanhouse points out that Florida has won two national championships despite having a loss in each of those seasons BEFORE the title game. Another SEC team (LSU) was placed in the BCS title game in 2007 despite having two losses. Fanhouse also points out how unlikely it would be for a team like Boise State being placed in a national championship game-even if they go undefeated. They even point out another possible disaster BCS scenario. If Oregon beats USC on Halloween, they could very well be placed in the BCS championship. Over undefeated Boise State. This despite the fact that Boise State absolutely pummeled Oregon in their season opener earlier this year.

Still think college football doesn’t need a playoff system?

 

NIGHTMARE SCENARIO FOR COLLEGE FOOTBALL: COMPUTERS WOULD PUT OREGON IN BCS TITLE GAME OVER BOISE STATE (DESPITE THE FACT THAT THEY LOST TO BSU EARLIER THIS SEASON)

UTAH IS PERFECT

January 3, 2009

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UTAH POUNDS ALABAMA IN THE SUGAR BOWL IN NEW ORLEANS

In the biggest win in school history, the University of Utah stunned # 4 Alabama with an easy 31-17 win in the Sugar Bowl.

Utah will not win a BCS championship but, coming from the unheralded Mountain West Conference, they conclude the season with a  perfect 13-0 record. They also flattened a one-loss team from the much more highly regarded SEC.

Senior quarterback Brian Johnson led the Utes to victory Friday night throwing for 336 yards and three touchdowns.

NICK “SATAN” RETURNS TO LSU WITH WIN

November 9, 2008

Alabama LSU Football

NICK SABAN LEADS ALABAMA ONTO THE FIELD SATURDAY AGAINST HIS OLD LSU SQUAD

Make no mistake about it. Nick Saban is one of the most hated coaches in college football history. What’s unique in Saban’s case is that hate is being directed from his former team. A team he once led to a college football national championship.

 

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NICK SABAN COACHED LSU TO A NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP IN 2003

Saban coached Louisiana State University to a BCS championship in 2003. He quit LSU to go to the NFL’s Miami Dolphins. Realizing he is a college coach at heart, Saban eventually quit that job as well and ended up at Alabama. Alabama is currently undefeated and the top ranked team in college football.

Saturday Saban led his Crimson Tide team into his old stomping grounds and BARELY came out with a victory. The Tide needed overtime but eventually prevailed with a 27-21 victory over his former LSU team. Nick Saban was so much the focus of this game on both sides that it was referred to as the “Saban Bowl.”

Much has been written about how much LSU fans now hate Saban, their former coach. In fact, hating Saban is now a cottage industry in Louisiana. First came the grousing among the alumni. Then came columns and talk radio that actually referred to their former coach as Nick “Satan.” The Saban-is-the-Devil theme spread like wildwire.

 

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That’s right, LSU fans didn’t just villify Saban-they demonized him. Literally. Soon, it seemed like everyone in Louisiana had some type of Nick “Satan” gear. Things got so out of control that people actually bought billboards playing up the Nick Saban/Satan connection.

 

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Keep in mind, this is deep in the heart of the Bible Belt.

Saban was literally burned in effigy. There were even rumors that the state of Alabama had to send prison guards to Baton Rouge to protect their football coach.

Some have even argued that all is hatred is actually GOOD for college football. After all, the argument goes, the opposite of love isn’t hate. It’s apathy. It takes just as much passion to truly LOATHE your opponent as love them. Either way, it’s a passion based emotion. And sports (especially college football) thrives on passion.

 

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PICTURE TAKEN AFTER GEORGIA LOSS TO ALABAMA LAST WEEKEND

October 3, 2008