Posts Tagged ‘Amy Winehouse’

Just the way she would have wanted to go…

October 28, 2011

Shockingly, when singer Amy Winehouse died July 23rd it turned out NOT to be from a drug overdose. However, a London coroner has still ruled her passing to be “death by misadventure.”

Winehouse had over five times the legal limit (over 0.4) of alcohol in her system at the time of her death. Winehouse was such a prolific boozer that at the age of 23 somebody once snapped a picture of her WEARING AN ADULT DIAPER during a night out on the town. The singer wanted wanted option of sitting in one spot and pissing herself rather take time off from her drinking to use a bathroom!

Debt crisis looms: Whose fault is it, Amy Winehouse or manatees?

July 28, 2011

TEA PARTIERS HAVE A SEA COW

Congress cannot get its act together. As America’s debt limit crisis looms and the country careens towards default, politicians and talk show hosts are busy assigning blame as to whose fault this is. You could blame President Barack Obama. You can blame Democrats, Republicans, Congress or the Tea Party. All are the legitimate subject of voters ire.

However, politicians and pundits are already scrambling to deflect blame and some of the excuses they’ve come up are simply astounding. Former politician and cabinet member turned talk show host Bill Bennett penned a column for CNN. He blamed the nation’s problems on recently-dead singer Amy Winehouse. Seriously. Bennett says our nation’s problems can be traced back to an exact moment-2008 when Amy Winehouse was given a Grammy for Record of the Year. Right, this nation is going to hell and it’s Amy Winehouse’s fault.

Meanwhile, Tea Party members in Florida don’t blame Amy Winehouse for our nation’s ills at all. According to them it’s the fault of manatees. A spokeswoman for Citrus County Tea Party Patriots has declared laws protecting the endangered fat sea mammals to be “against the Bible and the Bill of Rights.”

 

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Amy Winehouse dead

July 23, 2011

AMY WINEHOUSE

Singer Amy Winehouse has been found dead in her London apartment according to TMZ.com and several other sources.

Winehouse had a long history of drug and alcohol abuse. This very blog has been guilty of exploiting Winehouse’s substance abuse problems as a source of humor and derision. Winehouse’s life was such a trainwreck that we used to do a feature called the “Daily Amy” where we chronicled the singer’s life. These included stories of her punching concert goers, slurring through racist diatribes after smoking crack, being photographed smoking while being hospitalized for emphysema, shopping for liquor and being caught on tape using heroin,

At first, Winehouse’s drunken, drug-addled behavior was funny. There was the time she was photographed doing shots while babysitting:

And the time she was so wasted that a British tabloid photographed her walking into a post:

Or the time that the paparazzi shot a picture of Winehouse wearing an ADULT DIAPER as she prepared for a night of partying and soiling herself (at the age of 23):

However, Winehouse’s behavior soon became so troublesome and her self destructive death was so inevitable that even we came up with a self-imposed embargo to no longer blog about her pathetic antics. In fact, in a post entitled “Our Last Ever Post on Amy Winehouse,” we wrote that she was a “sad, doomed, pathetic human being” before adding, “She will be dead very soon.” Winehouse managed to live another three plus years after that post.

Amy Winehouse was a very talented and gifted musician. Another artist wiped out by addiction. Ironically, she died at the age of 27. That’s the identical age that Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Kobain and Janice Joplin died at.

R.I.P.

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OUR LAST EVER AMY WINEHOUSE POST

December 29, 2008

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AMY WINEHOUSE

Ok, enough is enough. Today is the last post we will ever do on drunken, drug-addled singer Amy Winehouse. Winehouse was apparently caught sunbathing topless by the paparazzi in Europe recently. There are more revealing photos, but what’s the point? Just the above photo is enough to give most sane people nightmares.

Granted, we ourselves have exploited Ms. Winehouse’s misfortune in the past. Winehouse used to do so many bizarre things that we actually chronicled her screw ups regularly in a feature called the “Daily Amy.” So, every time Winehouse punched somebody, got caught on tape using drugs, smoked a cigarette while being hospitalized for emphysema, or just went shopping for liquor we were there for the cheap laugh.

Well, no more. Amy Winehouse is a sad, doomed, pathetic human being. She will be dead very soon, but we won’t be there to laugh at the corpse. As of this post we are washing our hands of Ms. Winehouse. Thanks for the comic fodder you’ve provided. Here’s a couple of Amy’s Greatest Hits over the past year:  Auf Wiedersehen, baby!

 

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AMY WINEHOUSE SO TRASHED SHE LOSES HER MOTOR SKILLS

 

Amy's maternal instincts

AMY WINEHOUSE DEMONSTARTES HER BABYSITTING ABILITIES

 

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AMY WINEHOUSE GETS DRUNK AND WALKS INTO A POST

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AMY WINEHOUSE DRINKING SO MUCH SHE HAD TO WEAR A DIAPER TO LEAVE THE HOUSE AT AGE 23

DAILY AMY: DOCTOR SAYS SINGER AMY WINEHOUSE MAY HAVE BRAIN DAMAGE

September 2, 2008

AMY WINEHOUSE

A published report in the British newspaper The Daily Mail says troubled singer Amy Winehouse may be suffering from brain damage because of her past drug overdoses.

The paper says Winehouse overdosed twice last year. She od’d on a combination of crystal meth, heroin and cocaine in August. She was also hospitalized in July after smoking so much marijuana in 36 hours that she went into convulsions.

The paper also quotes a doctor who says the singer has “displayed symptoms normally associated with schizophrenia.” He theorizes the singer may suffer from brain damage because of her drug use.