Posts Tagged ‘Barry Bonds’

Scorned mistress keeps making Barry Bonds her personal pinata

March 30, 2011

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Apparently, hell hath no fury like a mistress scorned. The Barry Bonds trial continued Tuesday with what has been described as its “Ew phase.”Scuzzy personal detail after detail was unveiled by the baseball slugger’s longtime mistress, Kimberly Bell. Bonds testicles shrank. He was bad in bed. He had sexual dysfunction. Bonds once threatened to cut Bell’s head off. And her breasts.

Don’t think it was just tabloids and snarky blogs covering this nonsense. Even highbrow media organizations like the Wall Street Journal and The Atlantic are covering the Bonds steroids/perjury trial. Granted, they’re calling it “Godforsaken.”

The battle of Bell vs Bonds’ lawyers in court has already been described as a “cringefest.” Bell has already described Barry’s shrinking testicles and how the baseball Home Run King threatened to cut her head off and “cut out my breast implants because he paid for them.”

Bell has already given interviews where she described Bonds as a “selfish” lover. She told Playboy magazine in 2007, “I always figured he had PMS, like a woman.”

HERE’S SOMETHING YOU NEVER WANT TO SEE: A COURTROOM SKETCH OF YOUR FORMER MISTRESS TESTIFYING AGAINST YOU

Barry Bonds’ tiny testicles about to become a matter of public record

March 28, 2011

KIMBERLY BELL

The Barry Bonds perjury trial continues today. Kimberly Bell, one of the government’s star witnesses against baseball’s Home Run King, is expected to take the stand today.  The government is expecting Barry’s former mistress to establish: 1.) That he has very small testicles and was a bust in bed as a result of his frequent steroid use and 2.) Bonds is a complete and total dick and liar.

Bonds reportedly confided in Bell that he knowingly used steroids and lied about it to a grand jury and federal investigators. Not only is Bell’s testimony potentially incredibly damaging to the Bonds defense, but she also saved 11 incriminating voicemails that the prosecution was going to use as evidence of “roid rage.” Fortunately for Bonds, a judge threw out the tapes. However, the transcripts of the voicemails have already been leaked to the media.

In addition to graphic sexual testimony, Bell, who once posed in Playboy, is also expected to tell of how Bonds’ head and feet grew while he was in his mid-30’s not to mention his disgusting bacne. The prosecution also wants to paint Bonds as abusive. In 14 pages of voicemail transcripts leaked by the prosecution, Bonds starts one message to Bell,

“Hey, bitch…”

All of the voicemails to Bell are profane, hostile and abusive. He repeatedly calls his mistress a “bitch” and a “f—ing slut.” On one voice message, Bonds orders Bell to “drop every f—ing thing and call me.”

Evidence against Barry Bonds: Greg Anderson on tape and his tiny, tiny testicles

March 3, 2011

 

GREG ANDERSON: BACK TO JAIL

KIMBERLY BELL: FORMER MISTRESS TO TESTIFY ABOUT BONDS’ SEXUAL PROWESS (OR LACK THEREOF)

The Barry Bonds perjury trial finally gets under way this month. The government’s case against Bonds has become increasingly difficult. A tremendous amount of the feds evidence has been thrown out but the main blow in the Home Run King’s prosecution has been that the guy who allegedly gave Bonds his illegal and performance-enhancing drugs has refused to tesitfy against him.

Greg Anderson once went to jail for a year to avoid implicating Bonds. This week, Bonds’ childhood friend and former personal trainer testified he’s prepared to go back to jail rather than rat on Bonds.

However, Anderson may still put Bonds behind bars. That’s because the judge in the case has allowed a key piece of evidence-a tape of Anderson talking about Bonds using steroids. In that tape, Anderson talks about “stuff” Bonds was taking that coould avoid drug testing.

Another Bonds witness sure to embarrass the former slugger is Kimberly Bell, his former mistress. Bell is scheduled to testify about “the shrinkage of Bonds’s testicles and the worsening of his sexual performance” all of which could be attributed to steroid and HGH use.

Bonds is on trial for perjury because authorities claim he lied to them about using performance-enhancing drugs.

STEROID CHEAT BARRY BONDS THROWS OUT FIRST PITCH AT GAME 3 OF THE NLCS IN SAN FRANCISCO

October 20, 2010

BARRY BONDS

BARRY BONDS GETS OFF

June 11, 2010

Baseball Home Run King Barry Bonds once walked 232 times in one season. Friday, he got the biggest walk of his life. He may completely get off on federal perjury charges because much of the evidence against him has been ruled inadmissible.

A deeply divided federal appeals court ruled that the government CAN’T use any of Bonds’ positive drug tests or evidence collected from BALCO that was associated with his former trainer, Greg Anderson. Anderson went to jail on contempt of court charges rather than testify against Bonds. However, the feds confiscated Bonds’ drug tests and a mountain of other evidence from the disgraced former sports lab since they knew it was provided by Anderson. However, the appeals court ruled that without Anderson’s direct testimony NONE of the evidence is admissible. The appeals court ruled that all of Bonds’ drug tests where he tested positive for steroids were “hearsay” evidence.

Legal experts say Bonds will now almost certainly get off on perjury charges that were filed after he lied to FBI agents about his use of performance-enhancing drugs.

LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON

December 10, 2009

 

NIKOLAI BONDS

The son of baseball home run champion Barry Bonds has been arrested in northern California after a violent altercation with his mother. Nikolai Bonds, 16, has been charged with assault with a deadly weapon, assault and battery, vandalism, false imprisonment and obstructing and resisting an officer. The deadly weapon was a door knob that he threw at Sun Bonds after he spit on her.

Nikolai Bonds was a high school baseball player. He may be best known from his days as a SanFrancisco Giants batboy.

BARRY AND NIKOLAI BONDS

HEADLINE OF THE DAY: “DEFENSE OBJECTS TO BONDS’ TESTICLES EVIDENCE”

February 19, 2009

BARRY BONDS

Kids, don’t do drugs. Otherwise you maysomeday have an article written about your tiny testicles for the world to see.

The lawyers for baseball home run king Barry Bonds are trying to get testimony regarding the slugger’s shrunken testicles and growing head size thrown out of court. Prosecutors intend to introduce evidence that HGH and steroid use leads to physical symptoms including male pattern baldness, shrinking testicles and increased head size. They then plan to call Bonds’ former mistress, Kimberly Bell, to the witness stand to confirm that she saw all of these physical changes take place in Bonds after he started using performance enhancing drugs.

Although the defense team isn’t questioning Ms. Bell’s expertise and knowledge on the subject of testes, having seen lots and lots of testicles, they do seem to be implying she’s no M.D.

 

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ORCHIDOMETER: DEVICE USED TO MEASURE TESTICLES

Bonds’ lawyers also claim the only official, legal and medically approved may of measuring testicles is with a device called an orchidometer.

The headline of the day on the Bonds story comes from Yahoo! Sports which writes, “Defense Objects to Bonds’ Testicles Testimony.”

 

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NOTED TESTICLE EXPERT/BONDS MISTRESS KIMBERLY BELL

FORMER TEAMMATES LINING UP TO BURY BONDS

January 30, 2009

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BOBBY ESTALELLA

In case you might have had any doubts, the federal perjury case against baseball star Barry Bonds is going to be a CIRCUS. The New York Times is reporting several of Bonds’ former teammates are willing to testifyagainst the slugger in court .

ESPN had already reported that former Giants catcher Bobby Estalella is going to be a witness against Bonds. Also, the Giambi brothers, Jason and Jeremy, are expected to testify that Bonds’ personal trainer, Greg Anderson, provided them with illegal, performance enhancing drugs when they were with the Oakland A’s. Both former players are listed as witnesses against Bonds.

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GIAMBI BROTHERS

BARRY BONDS IS SCREWED

January 29, 2009

 

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the gym…

It looks like former Major League Baseball star Barry Bonds may be going to jail after all.  There had been speculation that baseball’s home run king might get off after testimony that “the clear” and “the cream”, designer drugs taken by Bonds, may not technically be classified as illegal.That would reporterdly hamper the government’s case against Bonds on perjury and drug charges.

Not so fast.  The New York Times has an article today that quotes a source for the Feds as saying the government has obtained a sample of Bonds’ urine and it reportedly has tested positive for illegal steroids.

Federal prosecutors have also ratcheted up the pressure on Bonds’ former trainer, Greg Anderson, by raiding his mother-in-law’s home. Anderson has refused to cooperate with authorities and testify against Bonds. He is currently in jail on contempt charges for refusing to answer questions about Bonds’ drug use.

 

greganderson

GREG ANDERSON: DRUG DEALER AND SCUMBAG BUT NO RAT

BARRY BONDS GETS ENDORSEMENT DEAL, POSSIBLE GET-OUT-OF-JAIL CARD

November 25, 2008

barrybondsdead

GUNS DON’T KILL-BARRY BONDS DOES

In the nine months since we started this blog in March of 2008 we have made 1,964 posts. In that time we have never mentioned Barry Bonds. Not once. Sorry, today’s the day.

First comes news that the accused steroids abuser actually got an endorsement deal. That’s the good news. The bad news? (wait…for…it…) Bonds’ endorsement deal comes from a gun company. As reported by SPORTSbyBROOKS Bonds was hired to make a promotional video for a high powered rifle company called Christensen Arms. (The above photo comes from the video.)

The San Francisco Chronicle gleefully jumped on Bonds’ endorsement deal with the headline,

 

 

“Bonds Now Blasting Deer Instead of Baseballs.”

 

Now THAT’S some creative headline writing! Hopefully the New York Post scouts are paying attention. The Chronicle article also has a link to the hunting video. The page with the video has an endorsement from Bonds next to this picture:

 

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The endorsement from Bonds makes for better and more entertaining reading than the Chronicle article. It says,

 

“I just wanted to tell everyone at Christensen Arms thanks for building such a great rifle. Keep up the great work and God bless.”

I love it. BLAM! You’re dead. God bless.

Meanwhile Bonds may have also received some good news on the legal front. The New York Daily News has been all over the baseball/steroids story. In an article Monday, the paper says the government may be getting “desperate” in its steroids case against Bonds.

Apparently the government is frustrated that after they secured a conviction against former Olympic cyclist Tammy Thomas she received ZERO jail time . Thomas, like Bonds, was a BALCO client involved in illegal drug use who lied to authorities (again, like Bonds.) Her case sets a horrible precedent for the attorneys prosecuting the Bonds case.

There was no doubt about her guilt. Thomas actually answered the door once while shaving her face when drug investigators stopped by her house for a surprise inspection. Thomas became known as the “bearded lady” of cycling. She developed several side effects from her prolonged steroid use including shrinking breasts, male pattern baldness, growing a beard and developing patches of hair on her chest.  All were caused by the drugs she took from BALCO.

Thomas was completely arrogant and unlikeable. She was a totally unsympathetic figure for both the jury and the judge who did her sentencing. Still, Thomas ended up with NO jail time.

After five years of being chased by the government, The Daily News article suggests the same fate may await Bonds. An eventual conviction that results in ZERO jail time.

 

tammythomas

SHE’S A MAN, BABY! CYCLIST AND CONVICTED STEROID USER TAMMY THOMAS