Posts Tagged ‘Chicago Cubs’

PRINT IS DEAD: #7,695

January 9, 2011

garza

NOT MATT GARZA

In a great move, the Chicago Cubs acquired pitcher Matt Garza from the Tampa Bay Rays. It was such a bold move that the Chicago Sun-Times newspaper decided to put Garza’s picture on its entire back page.

Unfortunately, the photo you see above is NOT a picture of Garza. It’s a photograph of former Tampa Bay reliever Joaquin Benoit. Oops!!

RIP RON SANTO

December 3, 2010


RON SANTO

Longtime Chicago Cubs player and announcer Ron Santo died Friday. He was 70.

CUBS OUTFIELDER’S NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE WITH A WOODEN STAKE

September 21, 2010

TYLER COLVIN CLUTCHES HIS CHEST AFTER BEING STRUCK WITH PIECES OF HIS TEAMMATE’S BAT

The season is over for Chicago Cubs rookie outfielder Tyler Colvin.

Colvin was injured in Sunday’s game against the Florida Marlins when he was struck in the chest by fragments of teammate Welington Castillo’s bat. Castillo’s bat shattered at the plate striking Colvin who was on third base at the time.

The media has had a field day describing how Colvin was “impaled” by a wooden stake. Actually, in a not so humorous note, Colvin is out for the rest of the season. He is listed in stable condition in Miami hospital with a tube in his chest.

APPARENTLY, CUBS PITCHER JEFF SAMARDZIJA HAS NEVER SEEN A TEAMMATE WITH A HOLE IN HIS CHEST BEFORE

CUBS FANS CAN ENTER THE AFTERLIFE IN STYLE

August 14, 2010

Since it’s now been officially more than 100 years since the Chicago Cubs won the World Series, it’s safe to say many of the team’s fans went to their graves without seeing them win a World Championship. At least they can now die happy-and be buried in an official Chicago Cubs casket.

A Michigan company is selling official MLB caskets and urns. The company has sold thousands with the Cubs and St. Louis Cardinals running 1 and 2 in sales.

WHAT TO GET GRANDPA: MLB URNS PRICED AT A BARGAIN $622

NO MORE RUMORS: PINIELLA TO RETIRE

July 20, 2010

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CUBS MANAGER LOU PINIELLA PREPARES FOR LIFE OF RETIREMENT

Saying he wanted to end the speculation, Chicago Cubs manager Lou Piniella announced he will retire at the end of the current season. Piniella has managed 23 Major League Baseball seasons with the New York Yankees, Cincinnati Reds, Seattle Mariners, Tampa Bay Devil Rays and the Cubs. He will retire as the 14th-winningest manager in MLB history. Piniella made the postseason seven times as a manager (five more as a player), won three Manager of the Year Awards and a World Championship with the 1990 Reds.

However, in the past two seasons, a whiny Chicago media has come down hard on Piniella. This despite the fact that he is the only Cubs manager in 70 years to have a record over .500 following his first three seasons.

CARLOS ZAMBRANO’S LATEST MELTDOWN

June 26, 2010

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DESPERATE CUBS CALL UP STARLIN CASTRO

May 7, 2010

Starlin Castro, the Cubs top prospect, gets the early call-up to the big leagues.

STARLIN CASTRO

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The Chicago Cubs have called up star shortstop prospect Starlin Castro. The 20-year-old Castro was hitting .376 at Class AA Tennessee.

Current Cubs shortstop Ryan Theriot, who is hitting .346, will shift to second base where he will replace Mike Fontenot.

Chicago is currently in fourth place in the N.L. Central with a 13-16 record. They are five games behind the St. Louis Cardinals.

* Update: Not only did Castro homer in his first big league at-bat, but he also had a Major League first game record six RBI’s in the Cubs win 14-7 over the Cincinnati Reds.

CARLOS ZAMBRANO AGAIN THREATENS TO RETIRE

September 28, 2009

Carlos Zambrano

CARLOS ZAMBRANO

Wacky Chicago Cubs pitcher Carlos Zambrano told the Chicago Tribune that he will retire after next season if he suffers through another poor season “like 2009.” Zambrano has only nine wins on the season, despite throwing a two-hitter on Friday.

Zambrano has talked about quitting before. Not likely. He is in the middle of a $91 million contract that is guaranteed at least through 2012.

 

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CARLOS ZAMBRANO: NOT A HAPPY CAMPER

MILTON BRADLEY TALKS HIS WAY OFF CUBS

September 21, 2009

MILTON BRADLEY: FIRST YEAR WITH CUBS HAS BEEN A DISASTER

Disgruntled outfielder Milton Bradley has been suspended by the Chicago Cubs for the rest of the season.

Bradley took himself out of  the Cubs lineup Saturday, claiming a sore knee. He then proceeded to trash the city of Chicago and Cubs fans, wrapping up what has been a miserable season. Said Bradley,

 

“You understand why they haven’t won in 100 years here…It’s not a positive environment.”

 

Cubs GM Jim Hendry, in turn, unloaded on Bradley,

 

“The last few days became too much for me to tolerate…The only real negativity here is his own production.”

 

Ouch! Those comments are from the guy who personally went to dinner with Bradley this offseason then gave him a three-year $30 million free agent contract. The Bradley signing was the only move made by the Cubs this offseason. It came while the team’s parent company was in financial distress. The Cubs money problems caused them to let fan-favorite third baseman Mark DeRosa go this offseason after winning the A.L. Central in 2007 and 2008. It also prevented them from adding front line pitcher Jake Peavy from the Padres. Instead, Hendry put all his eggs in the Millton Bradley basket. Bad move.

Bradley hit .321 with the Texas Rangers last season. This year he was batting .257 with just 12 homers and a paltry 47 RBI despite batting in the middle of the previously powerful Cubs lineup. Bradley essentially replaced DeRosa who hit .285 21-87 and was a WAY better human being. Even Cubs players lined up to take shots at Bradley following his suspension. Cubs pitcher Ryan Dempster advised Bradley to “look in the mirror.”

Bradley also commited the ultimate sin-insulting the Cubs loyal fan base. That turned out to be the third rail in his Cubs career. The team is expected to try to move Bradley this offseason (although he still has $20 million remaining on his contract.)

 

Milton Bradley

CUBS FANS WON’T HAVE MILTON BRADLEY TO KICK AROUND ANY MORE

CUBS FANS DUMP BEER ON OUTFIELDER’S HEAD

August 13, 2009

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Philadelphia Phillies outfielder Shane Victorino and the Chicago Cubs have filed a formal police complaint against rowdy fans who dumped a beer on the outfielder’s head yesterday. That could result in criminal charges against the fan or fans who doused Victorino with beer.

Worse, the Cubs are reportedly considering a temporary ban on selling beer at Wrigley Field.

 

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