Posts Tagged ‘Gwyneth Paltrow’

Time for Gwyneth Paltrow to be led off to the guillotine

April 27, 2011

GWYNETH PALTROW

You know, in a better and more just time in world history, like the French Revolution, actress Gwyneth Paltrow would have been put to death by guillotine. Just out of sheer principle. Previously tagged with charges of “elitism,” Paltrow signed a multi-million dollar endorsement deal with luxury handbag manufacturer Coach Inc., yesterday.

Paltrow is already known as the world’s most out-of-touch blogger. Now she’s going to be pimping $1,200 handbags and $398 coin purses made out of genuine python skin. During the height of the recession, Paltrow advised her readers who might be depressed to do what she does when she’s feeling a little down-jet off on an intercontinental jet flight and have breakfast with daddy in the restaurant at the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris.

Such Let-Them-Eat-Cake-ism advice has led Paltrow to be mocked and branded as “the world’s worst blogger.” Paltrow has also recieved a host of scathing reviews. The New York Times called Paltrow’s writings “Fatuos.” Meanwhile, a Toronto paper chimed in that Paltrow’s blog is called “Goop” because“‘Learn From Me, Ungrateful Peasant’ was already taken.”

GWYNETH PALTROW IS A DERANGED, LYING WHORE

January 15, 2011

ITALY FASHION

GWYNETH PALTROW

Actress Gwyneth Paltrow (who is also the world’s worst blogger) went on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon recently and made some pretty lurid accusations against lion tamer/illusionist Roy Horn of Siegfried and Roy fame.

Paltrow claimed Horn tried to lift up her dress and kiss her on the lips. This allegedly happened at the opening of the Cosmopolitan casino in Las Vegas where Paltrow’s husband Chis Martin and his band Coldplay were performing.

Why would a famously gay wheelchair-bound man (Horn is still suffering the effects of a tiger mauling during a performance seven years ago and the resulting brain trauma) sexually harass an actress on the red carpet of a casino opening, in public and in front of her husband? The answer appears to be he didn’t. Paltrow is lying. She made the whole incident up.

Multiple witnesses who were standing next to Horn during his brief exchange with Paltrow have come forward. One told gossip columnist Norm! that the ONLY thing Horn said to the actress was, “Boy, you are awfully tall.” The witness, a friend of Horn’s, also pointed out that the longtime Vegas entertainer had no idea who Paltrow was.

One Las Vegas website has already awarded Paltrow its “Stupidest Lie of the Year” award and we’re only a couple of weeks into January.

SIEGFRIED AND ROY (ROY HORN IS WEARING THE WHITE SHIRT)

GWYNETH PALTROW IS STILL THE WORST BLOGGER IN THE WORLD

January 7, 2010

goop

It’s been detailed time and time and time and time again how actress Gwyneth Paltrow’s celebrity blog “Goop” may be the worst website in the entire world.

Paltrow’s blog has turned a shallow, narcissistic sense of self entitlement into an art form. Her elitist, Let-Them-Eat-Cake advice is outrageously out of touch in today’s economic climate. Almost to the point of parody. She once advised her site’s female readers to fly to Paris for the weekend and have breakfast at the Eiffel Tower as a way of bonding with their fathers. A writer from the Toronto Globe &Mail put it perfectly when he said, “Paltrow’s website is called “Goop” because ‘Learn From Me, Ungrateful Peasant’ was already taken.”

Worse, Paltrow’s insane rich-girl ramblings are always presented in the form of some quasi-spiritual Buddhist/Hindu hybrid that is so stupid it has real nonviolent relgious figures wanting to kill her.

This week, however, Paltrow reached a new low. She wrote an entire newsletter and blog article about her bowel movements. That’s right, Goop poop. The borderline anorexic actress wrote a post about “shedding those excess holiday pounds” with a cleanse that was so insane that it was featured on numerous websites like Gawker and The Huffington Post.

GWYNETH PALTROW CAN OBVIOUSLY SHED A FEW OF THOSE EXTRA HOLIDAY POUNDS

HINDU RELIGIOUS LEADER BLASTS GWYNETH PALTROW’S STUPID BLOG

May 21, 2009

goop

When she’s not catfighting with fellow actress Scarlett Johansson, Gwyneth Paltrow writes one of the worst blogs in the world. If you do a Google search on Paltrow’s “Goop” blog, there literally isn’t a positve review of the site anywhere in the world.

We’ve posted before about just how elitist and shallow Paltrow’s rich-girl observations on life are. The New York Times skewered Paltrow’s blog as “fatuous.” Another critic said the site is called “Goop” because the name “Learn From Me, Ungrateful Peasant” was already taken. The last time we wrote about Goop, Paltrow had just advised her readers (in the midst of a recession) that they should all jump on a plane for a “quick trip” to Paris. Paltrow said that breakfast at the Eiffel Tower was a perfect father/daughter bonding experience.

It is precisely this type of “Let-them-eat-cake” philosophy that is drawing the site’s latest attack. Paltrow’s ridiculous blog is drawing criticism from one of the top Hindu scholars in the world. Hindu leader Rajan Zed says that although Goop’s tagline is “nourish the inner aspect,” there’s NOTHING spiritual about it.

According to Zed, there is nothing mystical or spiritual about Goop. He says,

 

“There are not many deep, spiritual, and philosophical thoughts in the blog.”

 

Instead, Zed writes, Paltrow’s observations are often about petty, inane and “material matters” like “Boots by Gucci” and “Banana Pancakes.” He says Hinduism is about:

 “realising self, immortality, deeper reality, eternity, soul, inner realms of the mind and spirit, pure consciousness.”

Not writing about your cat. Or having an entire article dedicated to “Taming the unruly eyebrows of men.”

In fact, the Hindu scholar says Paltrow’s “musings” are actually HARMING her readers,

“leading impressionable minds astray by suggesting they are deep and philosophical”

Instead of the self-important crap they really are.

 

ITALY FASHION

GWYNETH PALTROW

GOOP SCOOP

March 3, 2009

goop

By now you may have heard about actress Gwyneth Paltrow’s new blog. It’s called Goop.com and it’s really, REALLY, awful.

Doing a quick google search, there doesn’t appear to be a single positive review of Goop anywhere on the internet. The New York Times ridiculed the site as “fatuous.” A Toronto paper said the site is called “Goop” because “Learn From Me, Ungrateful Peasant” was already taken.

Paltrow’s elitist, Let-Them-Eat-Cake advice seems outrageously out of touch and unrealistic in today’s economic climate. Almost to the point of parody. For example, in this week’s Goop.com newsletter, Paltrow suggests a quick trip to Paris and breakfast at the Eiffel Tower as a perfect father/daughter bonding experience. Unfortunately, not everyone’s parents are celebrity millionaires.

 

ITALY FASHION

GWYNETH PALTROW