Posts Tagged ‘Indianapolis Colts’

DRUNK PUNTER OF THE YEAR AWARD

October 20, 2010

PAT MCAFEE

Indianapolis Colts punter Pat McAfee was arrested Tuesday night after allegedly getting drunk, swimming in a downtown canal and trying to get into a car with a woman he didn’t know. The woman called 911 and when police asked McAfee how much he’d had to drink the punter responded, “A lot cause I’m drunk.”

McAfee has been charged with public intoxication.

DRUNK COLTS DEFENSIVE LINEMAN FOUND PASSED OUT IN A DITCH

August 9, 2010

Arrested Colts Lineman Was Drunk, Barefoot, Soiled, In A Ditch

JOHN GILL

Indianapolis Colts defensive tackle John Gill avoided being formally charged put was locked up by police for the night after they found him passed out in a ditch.

The original reports of the incident were embarrassing and cringeworthy enough to get Gill sent to alcohol rehab. However, Deadspin.com provided the best details of the story pointing out that the unconscious Gill was barefoot when police found him AND had soiled himself.

100,000 REASONS WHY YOU NEVER GIVE THE MISTRESS YOUR DEBIT CARD

May 30, 2010

NATASHIA MCKENZIE

The FBI sent 15 armed agents to kick down the door of Indianapolis Colts wide receiver Reggie Wayne’s alleged mistress. Wayne says Natashia McKenzie stole his debit card and ran up over $100,000 in charges on it. McKenzie says she was having an affair with Wayne and had his permission to use the card.

WORST CONSPIRACY THEORY OF ALL-TIME

March 1, 2010

PEYTON MANNING

The website Kissing Suzy Kolber does a great job of piecing together multiple articles for what may be the stupidest conspiracy theory EVER. According to some disgruntled Indianapolis Colts fans, quarterback Peyton Manning threw the Super Bowl. He lost on purpose.

Who would believe such nonsense? Why would he do it? Well, under the version of the conspiracy theory written about by Fanhouse, Manning threw the game because he’s such a great person and a “humanitarian.” He wanted to relieve the pain of the people of New Orleans. Manning grew up in the city while his dad was the Saints quarterback. The source for the Fanhouse article? A drunk guy in an Indianapolis sports bar. Longtime newspaper columnist Terence Moore defends Manning in the piece by saying he’s simply a “choker,” not a guy who fixes football games. Moore even asks the mayor of Indianapolis whether or not he thinks Manning threw the game. Seriously.

However, the Fanhouse theory is Pulitzer Prize material compared to what some nutjob wrote on bleacherreport.com in a piece entitled “The Fix Was In For The Saints To Win.” Written immediately after the game, that article follows the America-wanted-the-Saints-to-win “logic” as well. Hilariously, the article on Bleacher Report is voting enabled. A whopping 12% of fans voted “yes” or “maybe” to the question,”Was the Super Bowl a fix?”

Some douche even built a website around the conspiracy theory of Peyton Manning fixing the Super Bowl. An “Indianapolis Mom” also believes the game may have been fixed along with the usual scum that flock towards conspiracy theories.

PEYTON MANNING LABELED “AN IDIOT SAVANT”

February 6, 2010

p1_manning.jpg image by Suikojowy

PEYTON MANNING IS SOCIALLY INEPT?

Slate.com has a feature whining about the constant referencing of Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning as a “genius.” Writer Stefan Fatsis contends that Manning is more of an “idiot savant” than a genius.

Fatsis points out that Manning was so “socially stunted” that he allegedly can’t use a can opener and had to watch polaroids of shirt and slacks combos in order to dress himself.

DID MARVIN HARRISON GET WAY WITH MURDER?

January 15, 2010

 

MARVIN HARRISON

Amazingly, ONE major magazine article may be responsible  for sending the NFL’s second all-time leading receiver to prison. Even more amazing, that investigative piece of journalism was published in the fashion magazine GQ.

The FBI now thinks former Indianapolis Colts receiving legend Marvin Harrison may have been involved not only in the April 29, 2008 shooting that occurred outside his Philadelphia car wash, but the subsequent murder of one of the men who was wounded in that shooting. It was already proven by ballistics that Harrison’s gun was used in the 2008 shooting. Two witnesses said that Harrison pulled the trigger. However, the Philadelphia DA’s office determined that the two witnesses were too shady to put on the witness stand and they eventually decided not to prosecute Harrison.

After the decision to drop the case, Dwight Dixon, who gave detailed testimony against Harrison, was mysteriously gunned down while he sat in a car parked two blocks away from a Philadelphia bar owned by Harrison. Jason Fagone’s GQ article came out on Thursday. It paints an incredibly damning picture of Harrison, the NFL’s top receiver of the 2000’s. By the end of the day, humiliated Philadelphia authorities announced that they were taking a new look at Harrison. The FBI is now looking at Harrison as well.

JASON FAGONE

While Fagone is being hailed as a journalistic hero, Harrison’s Hall of Fame chances just dropped about a mile south of Mark McGwire and Pete Rose’s.

INDIANAPOLIS COLTS FLEE FROM PERFECTION

December 28, 2009

THE LOOK ON QB PEYTON MANNING’S FACE SAYS IT ALL

On Sunday, the 14-0 Indianapolis Colts had a 15-10 lead over the New York Jets with just 5:36 left in the third quarter. Thats when Colts coach Jim Caldwell decided to play it safe. With his team already having clinched the AFC East and homefield advantage throughout the playoffs, Caldwell pulled many of his starting players from the game. That included star quarterback Peyton Manning.

As Indianapolis’ own fans booed, Manning was replaced by rookie sixth round draft pick Curtis Painter from Purdue. Painter had never taken an NFL snap in his entire life. The results were predictable. Painter was horrible. He literally fumbled away the lead and had a quarterback rating of 11.2. The Colts failed to score the rest of the game and the Jets came back to win 30-15.

Caldwell had decided to forego short term glory (the chance for a perfect season) in exchange for long term safety. He wanted to avoid any chance of injuries to his key starters-especially Manning. In 2005, Caldwell’s predecessor and mentor, former Colts coach Tony Dungy, made a similar decision. The Colts started that season 13-0. Like Caldwell, Dungy seemed to WANT a loss to avoid the pressure of an undefeated season. The Colts did indeed lose to the San Diego Chargers in Game 14. The following week, Dungy pulled Manning in favor of career backup Jim Sorgi. The Colts lost again. In fact, the Colts never won a single playoff game that season. They were eliminated by the Pittsburgh Steelers in their first playoff game.

So much for playing it safe. Besides, far from avoiding the spotlight, Caldwell’s decision has invited national ridicule. Ever the good soldier, Manning has publicly backed his head coach’s decision. However, one look at Manning’s face on the Colts sideline Sunday tells you everything you need to know. The Colts decision to spit in the face of history and not even TRY for perfection was just wrong.

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PEYTON MANNING SINGS KARAOKE DUET WITH KENNY CHESNEY

March 23, 2009

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TONY DUNGY RETIRES

January 12, 2009

 tonydungy

TONY DUNGY

According to several reports, Tony Dungy of the Indianapolis Colts, the first African-American coach to win a Super Bowl, is retiring after seven seasons with the club.

Dungy made the playoffs a record ten seasons in a row as coach of the Colts and Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Associate Colts coach Jim Caldwell had already been named Dungy’s successor when he decides to leave the team.

 

jimcaldwell1

JIM CALDWELL