Posts Tagged ‘Jose Canseco’

Canseco brothers make run at Stupid Hall of Fame

March 30, 2011

Unfortunately for former Major League Baseball slugger Jose Canseco, his life continues to be a failed sitcom or reality tv show. This weekend, Canseco made news when he attempted to send his twin brother to fight in his place at a celebrity boxing match in Florida. The plot was discovered at the weigh-in when the promoter of the event noticed Ozzie Canseco wasn’t sporting the arm tattoo present on his twin brother, Jose. Busted!

The only thing more ridiculous than Jose Canseco’s life is Taiwanese animators attempt to recreate it:

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The failed switheroo has once again made Canseco a national punchline. You know you’re a scumbag when boxing promoters question your integrity. The Miami Herald now has photos of a tattooless Ozzie Canseco at the boxing event over the weekend. Plus, here’s Jose Canseco’s very latest hilarious Twitter entry posted less than an hour ago:

CANSECO BROTHERS IN THEIR NATURAL ENVIRONMENT

IDIOT BROTHER # 1: JOSE-WITH ARM TAT

IDIOT BROTHER #2: OZZIE POSES WITH CELEBRITY CORNERMAN AND FELLOW SCUMBAG MICHAEL LOHAN. NOTICE NO ARM TAT,

JOSE CANSECO LOSES FIGHT TO 60-YEAR-OLD MAN

July 10, 2010

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HOPE ROGER CLEMENS LIKES PRISON SEX

March 24, 2010

ROGER CLEMENS

Former Major League Baseball player Jose Canseco revealed on his Twitter account Tuesday that he has been subpoenaed to testify about pitcher Roger Clemens and his use of performance-enhancing drugs. The government may be preparing a case against Clemens for lying to Congress.

WHY YOU NEVER GIVE ANYONE THE PASSWORD TO YOUR TWITTER ACCOUNT

March 22, 2010

Jose Canseco, Always Known For Attention To Privacy

JOSE CANSECO OFFERS TO BEAT THE HELL OUT OF A-ROD

November 7, 2009

JOSE CANSECO

Although most of his detractors have faded with a World Series ring, Alex Rodriguez still has at least one critic. Former Major League Baseball slugger Jose Canseco still hates A-Rod. Canseco was the first person ever to accuse Rodriguez of steroid use. Those allegations turned out to be true. Canseco also accused A-Rod of trying to sleep with his wife in his autobiography.

Still, A-Rod is more popular than ever while Canseco is forced to eek out a living fighting in ridiculous freak shows like the one in Massachusetts this weekend. Canseco boxed in a “celebrity boxing” match against some no-name on the same card as famed cop-beating victim Rodney King. Canseco appears bitter.

In a prefight interview for his fight, Canseco said he would love to beat up Rodriguez, who he called a “lying little idiot.” Canseco said, “I’ll beat him to a pulp.”

Big talk from a guy who fought to  a draw with former child star Danny Bonaduce.

Canseco Boxes Boxing

THE USUAL CALIBER OF CANSECO’S OPPONENTS-FORMER CHILD STAR DANNY BONADUCE

DAVID WELLS JUST SAID NO

June 8, 2009

Indians Yankees Baseball

DAVID WELLS GIVES THUMBS UP WHILE ENJOYING A BALLGAME AT THE NEW YANKEE STADIUM

Believe or not there is a vice that former New York Yankees pitcher David Wells once turned down. Wells says that he passed on a chance to use performance enhancing drugs when he was a teammate of Jose Canseco’s with the Chicago White Sox in 2001.

Wells said Canseco offered to get the portly pitcher HGH to help him come back from an injury-plagued 5-7 season. Instead, Wells simply trained harder and “quit drinking beer” to drop 30 pounds in Spring Training 2002.

Now a broadcaster for TBS, Wells has no sympathy for baseball players who use illegal drugs. He is on record as saying baseball players who use performance enhancing drugs should be kicked out of the game, not merely suspended for 50 games. Wells points out,

“Did Pete Rose get a second chance? Did Shoeless Joe Jackson get a second chance?”

NOT A HUGE TURNOUT FOR JOSE CANSECO’S PRESS CONFERENCE ON STEROIDS TODAY

May 8, 2009

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ROPE TWO DOPES: CANSECO VS BONADUCE IN CELEBRITY BOXING

January 25, 2009

 

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ACTOR DANNY BONADUCE TAKES ON JOSE CANSECO IN CELBRITY BOXING

Who wins in a fight between despised celebrities Jose Canseco and Danny Bonaduce?

The entire viewing public.

The disgraced baseball player took on the obnoxious former child star Saturday night in celebrity boxing. The bout was scored a “majority draw.”

 

 

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JOSE CANSECO: NICE TATS!

Canseco Boxes Boxing

 

 

BONADUCE SHOWS OFF HIS UNIQUE SMOKING-WHILE-JUMPING-ROPE TRAINING ROUTINE

JOSE CANSECO IS OFFICIALLY A PARODY OF HIMSELF

October 11, 2008

JOSE CANSECO

Some jokes just write themselves. And, speaking of jokes…

According to KLAC radio, former Major League outfielder Jose Canseco has been arrested and detained at the U.S./Mexico border for possession of steroids. What a shock.

And these weren’t just any old steroids. No, Canseco was apparently running Human chorionic gonadotropin or HCG. The drug is commonly used by steroid users to restore the size of shrunken testicles (a side effect of steroid use.)

IMBECILE CANSECO TO LOSE MIAMI STREET

September 9, 2008

A Miami-Dade County commissioner is looking to strip former baseball player Jose Canseco of the street named after him.

Joe Martinez has introduced a resolution to permanently remove Canseco’s name from the West Miami street that bears his name. Jose Canseco street has been in existence for almost 20 years.