Posts Tagged ‘Los Angeles Dodgers’

DODGERS OWNER CALLS EX-WIFE A “LOSER”

August 20, 2010

(L-R)Owner Frank McCourt, manager Joe Torre, owner Jamie McCourt of the Los Angeles Dodgers and Think Cure president Janet Clayton escort the Dodgers and the Boston Red Sox into the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum before the game on March 29, 2008 in Los Angeles, California.

SURE, SHE SLEPT WITH ALL THESE BASEBALL PEOPLE, BUT CAN JAMIE MCCOURT WIN HER LAWSUIT?

Los Angeles Dodgers owner Frank McCourt has some advice for his soon-to-be-ex-wife. Drop your lawsuit over control of the baseball team.

McCourt told the Los Angeles Times Jamie McCourt’s case “is a loser” and there’s no way he intended for her to get “all the houses and all the money.”

Jamie McCourt separated from her husband after sleeping with the Dodgers team chauffeur and being duped into having sex with a fake muffin heir. All of this happened while she was chasing her goal of being President of the United States. Meanwhile, Frank McCourt was at home spending $52,000 a month on shirts and another $80,000 on a vacation with his mistress.

TELL YOUR STATISTICS TO SHUT UP

August 13, 2010

BASEBALL SABERMETRICS CHART

If you’re an athlete in today’s media climate, you know who SUCKS? Bloggers and sabermaticians.

Traditionally, most sports fans have received the news about their favorite sports team via newspapers, through beat reporters. However, as Mark Cuban pointed out recently, reporters are ALWAYS the “dumbest people in the room.”

With New Media there is always the opportunity to learn things you didn’t know before. For instance, the blog “Mike Scioscia’s Tragic Illness” just ran a post congratulating recently released Los Angeles Dodgers outfielder Garret Anderson for having the “Worst offensive season in Los Angeles Dodgers history.”

COURTESY MIKE SCIOSCIA’S TRAGIC ILLNESS

MSTI then breaks out the sabermetrics chart to PROVE what a horrible piece of crap season Anderson was having. Sure, there was the guy  who hit .139 with one homer and 15 RBI all year while playing catcher for for the 1909 Brooklyn Superbas, but since the Dodgers moved to L.A. in ’58, Garret Anderson is the worst hitter they’ve ever had. Before he was released, Anderson tallied a .181 batting average and a .204 on-base percentage. Anderson’s slugging percentage was a brutal .271. He had two home runs and just one stolen base in 80 games and 163 plate appearances.

Previously, in baseball history, no newspaper would have detailed Anderson’s failures so graphically. It’s not like The Sporting News in 1942 would have brutalized a nice guy like Anderson with such an article.

Welcome to today’s new world of media.

GARRET ANDERSON DROPPED THE BALL AS DODGERS OUTFIELDER

MATT KEMP BUYS RIHANNA A $1 MILLION RING-THEN SHE CHEATS ON HIM

August 7, 2010

MATT KEMP AND RIHANNA

According to the latest gossip reports, Los Angeles Dodgers outfielder Matt Kemp ordered his girlfriend, recording star Rihanna, a $1 million engagement ring. One million dollars may not seem like much money for a professional athlete, particularly an All-Star like Kemp. However, the 25-year-old Kemp has only only two years of Major League service time. After federal and California taxes, agent’s commission etc., $1 million is probably HALF the money that Kemp makes this year.

How did Rihanna respond? She reportedly cheated on Kemp, hooking up with rapper Drake.

SIGN OF THINGS TO COME?

August 3, 2010

Benmaller.com is reporting that the Los Angeles Dodgers have removed the “Mannywood” sign in front of the left field bleachers. The sign is a tribute to former slugging outfielder turned DL regular Manny Ramirez. The sign has been replaced by an ad for John Hancock insurance.

JON LOVITZ: DEADBEAT FAN

May 27, 2010

jon_lovitz-devil-snl-46_2.jpg image by lmblanco

JON LOVITZ

Actor/comedian Jon Lovitz is being sued by the Los Angeles Dodgers. The club claims Lovitz owes them $95,400 for season tickets he never paid for.

WHY IS NED COLLETTI HATING ON MATT KEMP?

April 30, 2010

 

MATT KEMP

Maybe Los Angeles Dodgers general manager Ned Colletti is just mad that HE doesn’t have an internationally famous recording star girlfriend lusting after him.

For whatever reason, Colletti has been on a rampage lately attacking Matt Kemp and seemingly blaming the young outfielder for the Dodgers slow start this season. Following a doubleheader sweep by the Mets earlier in the week, Colletti singled Kemp out for criticism saying,

“Some guys, I guess, think that they’re better than they are. The baserunning’s below average. The defense is below average. Why is it? Because he (Kemp) got a new deal? I can’t tell you.”

The Dodgers have made the postseason two years in a row, advancing all the way to the National League Championship Series in both 2008 and 2009. At just 24, Kemp had a great season in ’09 hitting .297 with 26 home runs and 101 RBI. He stole 34 bases and scored 97 runs. Kemp also won a Gold Glove for his defense and finished 10th in voting for the 2009 National League Most Valuable Player award. He was obviously an integral part of the Dodgers success and was rewarded with a two-year contract extension this January.

This season Kemp is hitting .290 with seven homers. He is currently on pace to hit 52 home runs and drive in 147 runs and steal 88 bases. All while playing Gold Glove defense Yeah, OBVIOUSLY Matt Kemp is the number one problem for the Dodgers.

Colletti is furious that the Dodgers are 8-14 and currently in last place in the N.L. West. They are 6 games behind the seemingly-pathetic San Diego Padres  and their $38 million payroll.

Suddenly having to defend himself following the Colletti meltdown, Kemp has taken the high road and refused to lash back through the media. The two did have a brief meeting on Wednesday.

MANNY HITS GAME-WINNING PINCH-HIT HOMER

April 19, 2010

 

MANNY RAMIREZ

Los Angeles Dodgers outfielder Manny Ramirez beat the San Francisco Giants Sunday with a pinch-hit two run homer.

VIDEO

MY NEW FAVORITE WEBSITE

March 23, 2010

Frank McCourt and his wife, Jamie, didn't sit together at Game 1 of last year's National League Championship Series.

FRANK AND JAMIE MCCOURT

Here’s an AWESOME new website! It’s www.dodgerdivorce.com .

The site updates the daily travails of Los Angeles Dodgers owners Frank and Jamie McCourt while dishing the dirt about their incredibly messy impending divorce.

Learn about:

How the McCourts paid $0 in taxes on $104 million in income

Why Jamie McCourt thought she could be president of the United States

What a slut Jamie McCourt is and how she was screwing her chauffer

How Jamie McCourt was duped because the “heir to the Pillsbury fortune” she thought she was sleeping with turned out to be an abusive brokeass deadbeat dad

How Frank McCourt spent $52,000 of Dodgers money on clothes for himself in three months and blew another $81,000 of Dodgers money on a winter vacation

There’s also new material, like:

An anonymous letter leaked about a possible Frank McCourt affair and

Details of Jamie’s monthly AMEX bill

You can also vote “Frank’s a jerk!” or “Jamie’s worse!” on every issue.

VIN SCULLY HAS FALLEN AND HE CAN GET UP

March 19, 2010

VIN SCULLY

There’s a 50/50 chance that Vin Scully will be dead by Christmas. Those are the statistics involving falls of senior citizens.

Scully, the legendary Los Angeles Dodgers baseball announcer, was rushed to a southern California hospital Thursday night after suffering a fall in his home. Scully reportedly “bumped his head” after getting out of bed too quickly and falling.

The 82-year-old Scully is arguably the greatest baseball announcer in history and is STILL doing awesome work. He has been calling Dodgers games on radio or television for 59 years. Scully is scheduled to do his first Dodgers spring training game this Sunday. Currently, Scully works all Dodgers home games and road games involving N.L. and A.L. West teams.

JAMIE MCCOURT WANTED TO BE POTUS

March 16, 2010

 

HAIL TO THE CHIEF (GOLD DIGGER)

The comedy material being mined from the Frank and Jamie McCourt divorce trial just keeps getting better and better. McCourt, the owner of the Los Angeles Dodgers, recently leaked to the L.A. Times a document detailing how psychotically out of touch his soon to be ex-wife is. McCourt unveiled a seven-page Dodgers in house memo entitled “Project Jamie.” The seven-page “action plan” detailed McCourt’s plot to be president. Not of Dodgers. Jamie McCourt was planning to be president of the United States of America. In fact, the memo was subtitled, “Goal: Be Elected President of the United States.”

McCourt not only had the Dodgers staff write the plan (which included her first being elected mayor of Los Angeles, then governor of California) but she even contacted political consultant Michael Wissot. According to the L.A. Times, Wissot apparently wasn’t sure whether or not an e-mail McCourt sent about her presidential aspirations was a joke.

Mrs. McCourt probably assumed that she could be a politician since she has the morals of a snake and didn’t pay any taxes on her multi-million dollar salary. That, and the fact that she’s too stupid to do anything else.