Posts Tagged ‘New York Yankees’

Yankees GM sex/blackmail scandal

February 4, 2012

Mrs. Brian Cashman is out at home. What is it with New York baseball general managers?

After Steve Phillips basically scandalized himself out of his job as Mets GM and his ESPN gig, current Yankees general manager Brian Cashman has involved himself in a blackmail/sex scandal.  

You know Cashman must have been doing some pretty heinous shit if the New York Post devoted its entire front cover to his affairs Saturday even with the city’s team scheduled to play in the Super Bowl TOMMOROW. The Post has an “exclusive” detailing how and why Cashman’s wife has filed for divorce.

Details of Cashman’s affairs have slowly dripped out all week after Deadspin.com ran a post where they interviewed his latest mistress, Louise Neathway. Deadspin even posted audio of that interview. Among the highlights: a spurned Neathway literally starts the interview by saying,”Fuck him.” Neathway also allowed Deadspin to photograph Cashman’s black pajama bottoms and orange toothbrush he used when he spent nights with her.  

Deadspin sleazemerchant A.J.Daulerio cleverly titled his article on the Neathway/Casman affair, “Dear Brian Cashman, I am wearing your pajama pants in your mistress’s living room.”

Daulerio is the guy responsible for posting photos of Brett Favre’s penis. He used those journalistic chops to secure his current job as editor of Gawker.com. Daulerio had also previously run intimate photos of Cashman with his rookie mistress, a married woman named Kimberly Brennan. Deadspin titled that article “Brian’s Dong.”

Meanwhile, Neathway called Cashman wife on Wednesday and told her all the filthy details of what she has been doing with her husband. Neathway was actually arrested the next day and charged with grand larceny, harassment and stalking. Cashman went to authories and told them Neathway was trying to extort money from him. He claimed she had been threatening to go public with details of their affair and damage his reputation unless he coughed up $15,000. A broke Neathway couldn’t make bail and is curently in jail on Riker’s Island.

Jeter: Ladies, thanks for the sex-here’s a lovely parting gift

December 14, 2011

Legendary New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter is back on the free agent market. At least when it comes to chicks. After recently dumping hottie actress Minka Kelly, today’s New York Post claims Jeter has recently dated a “bevy” of beauties whom he beds at his Trump Tower apartment.

According to the Post, Jeter is quite the gentleman. In the morning Jeter provides his girls with free car service. Best of all, those lucky ladies get a “gift basket” complete with signed Jeter memorabilia (including an autographed baseball!)

derek jeter house1 Derek Jeters apartment for sale

DEREK JETER BACHELOR PAD: GIRLS, COME FOR THE SEX. STAY FOR THE AUTOGRAPHED BASEBALL

Tell-all book tells nothing

August 9, 2011

A former New York Yankees batboy named Luis Castillo has a book out. Excerpts of that book have been printed in the New York Post. Among the details revealed by Castillo is the milquetoast assertation that Yankees captain Derek Jeter prefers women with “a nice smile and personality.”  Castillo didn’t talk about Jeter’s herpes rumors.

A slightly more hilarious tidbit was porn addict outfielder Hideki Matsui’s guarantee before Game 7 of the 20004 ALCS. After blowing a 3-0 lead in the series, Matsui guaranteed a Yankees win in Game 7. The Yankees lost and the Boston Red Sox went on to win their first World Series in six generations. Matsui’s exact prediction on what the team would do in the series finale:

“Kick ass. Pop champagne. Get some ho’s.”

Derek Jeter’s 3,000th hit

July 10, 2011

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MLB reportedly suspicious of Bartolo Colon’s miracle ass fat surgery

May 13, 2011

 

BARTOLO COLON: FAT AND HAPPY

It’s a miracle! Former Cleveland Indians All-Star Bartolo Colon this season has gone from being a 37-year-old  unemployed pitcher with a torn rotator cuff to an undeated starter with the New York Yankees who has a 2.00 ERA and suddenly throws 95 mph. Better yet, it’s all thanks to the miracle of fat.

That’s right, Colon reportedly underwent a “revolutionary” new medical treatment in the Dominican Republic where doctors used a unique stem cell surgery to fix Colon’s ruined arm. The doctors withdrew fat from the pitcher’s big, 300-pound ass (literally) and mixed it with his own stem cells. They then injected the mixture into the area surrounding Colon’s rotator cuff. Voila, miracle cure! Colon is suddenly throwing better than ever after being out of baseball last year.

However, people are suspicious of Colon’s miracle ass fat injection treatment. Particularly those at Major League Baseball. Recently, both the New York Times and L.A. Times have run skeptical stories regarding Colon’s supposed fat-injection, stem cell treatment.They note that his Dominican Republic doctor has been involved with banned substances such as HGH in the past. The doctor, though, swears he did not use HGH on Colon. Just a mixture of stem cells and ass fat.

MAN-BOOBED BARTOLO COLON TO START YANKEES SPRING OPENER

February 24, 2011

BARTOLO COLON

Who says the New York Yankees are “light” on starting pitching this spring?

With veteran retreads Freddy Garcia and Bartolo Colon looking to join C.C. Sabathia, the Yankees could have three 300-pounders in their rotation. That would make them the fattest starting rotation in MLB history.

No wonder Yankees GM Brian Cashman didn’t want reliever Rafael Soriano. He doesn’t weigh as much as one of Colon’s thighs. Colon has been picked to start New York’s first Spring Training game Saturday.

YANKEES CALLED THE “TEABAGGERS OF MLB”

February 22, 2011

New York Yankees owner Hank Steinbrenner has come out and blasted baseball’s luxury tax and revenue sharing plans. “Socialism, communism, whatever you want to call it, is never the answer,” the son of the late Yankees owner George Steinbrenner said about teams like the Pittsburgh Pirates and Kansas City Royals.

Steinbrenner’s comments come less than a month after Yankees president Randy Levine accused the Texas Rangers of being “on welfare” for taking revenue sharing money.

C.C. DROPS LBS BY DROPPING CAPTAIN CRUNCH

February 15, 2011

 

Portly New York Yankees pitching ace C.C. Sabathia has dropped 25 pounds this offseason. How did he do it? Simple. He quit eating Cap’n Crunch cereal for breakfast.

Sabathia says he used to eat Cap’n Crunch for breakfast every day and ate an entire box per sitting. Sabathia admits he weighed well over 300 pounds the past several seasons. However, if Sabathia piches better this season because of the lost weight it may actually hurt the Yankees. Sabathia has the ability to exercise an out in his contract and file for free agency this offseason. He has not guaranteed the Yankees that he won’t exercise that opt out option. At least one recent article expressed the Yankees dread that Sabathia could sign with the Yanks arch-rival Boston Red Sox.

A-ROD REAFFIRMS HIS DOUCHINESS

February 9, 2011

 

Alex Rodriguez is pissed. The New York Yankees star was shown getting fed popcorn by his actress girlfriend Cameron Diaz during a Super Bowl cutaway on Fox.

Apparently, A-Rod thought the popcorn shot by Fox Sports was a deliberate attempt to catch him in a “paparazzi moment.” Numerous newspaper articles and blog posts have pointed out that theory is nonsense. However, that didn’t stop A-Rod from “going ballistic” over the shot.

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MANNY BEING YANKEE?

December 24, 2010

ON THE MOVE AGAIN?

The latest baseball rumor has former Boston Red Sox star Manny Ramirez possibly moving to the Bronx and becoming a member of the New York Yankees.