Posts Tagged ‘Peyton Manning’

WORST CONSPIRACY THEORY OF ALL-TIME

March 1, 2010

PEYTON MANNING

The website Kissing Suzy Kolber does a great job of piecing together multiple articles for what may be the stupidest conspiracy theory EVER. According to some disgruntled Indianapolis Colts fans, quarterback Peyton Manning threw the Super Bowl. He lost on purpose.

Who would believe such nonsense? Why would he do it? Well, under the version of the conspiracy theory written about by Fanhouse, Manning threw the game because he’s such a great person and a “humanitarian.” He wanted to relieve the pain of the people of New Orleans. Manning grew up in the city while his dad was the Saints quarterback. The source for the Fanhouse article? A drunk guy in an Indianapolis sports bar. Longtime newspaper columnist Terence Moore defends Manning in the piece by saying he’s simply a “choker,” not a guy who fixes football games. Moore even asks the mayor of Indianapolis whether or not he thinks Manning threw the game. Seriously.

However, the Fanhouse theory is Pulitzer Prize material compared to what some nutjob wrote on bleacherreport.com in a piece entitled “The Fix Was In For The Saints To Win.” Written immediately after the game, that article follows the America-wanted-the-Saints-to-win “logic” as well. Hilariously, the article on Bleacher Report is voting enabled. A whopping 12% of fans voted “yes” or “maybe” to the question,”Was the Super Bowl a fix?”

Some douche even built a website around the conspiracy theory of Peyton Manning fixing the Super Bowl. An “Indianapolis Mom” also believes the game may have been fixed along with the usual scum that flock towards conspiracy theories.

PEYTON MANNING LABELED “AN IDIOT SAVANT”

February 6, 2010

p1_manning.jpg image by Suikojowy

PEYTON MANNING IS SOCIALLY INEPT?

Slate.com has a feature whining about the constant referencing of Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning as a “genius.” Writer Stefan Fatsis contends that Manning is more of an “idiot savant” than a genius.

Fatsis points out that Manning was so “socially stunted” that he allegedly can’t use a can opener and had to watch polaroids of shirt and slacks combos in order to dress himself.

INDIANAPOLIS COLTS FLEE FROM PERFECTION

December 28, 2009

THE LOOK ON QB PEYTON MANNING’S FACE SAYS IT ALL

On Sunday, the 14-0 Indianapolis Colts had a 15-10 lead over the New York Jets with just 5:36 left in the third quarter. Thats when Colts coach Jim Caldwell decided to play it safe. With his team already having clinched the AFC East and homefield advantage throughout the playoffs, Caldwell pulled many of his starting players from the game. That included star quarterback Peyton Manning.

As Indianapolis’ own fans booed, Manning was replaced by rookie sixth round draft pick Curtis Painter from Purdue. Painter had never taken an NFL snap in his entire life. The results were predictable. Painter was horrible. He literally fumbled away the lead and had a quarterback rating of 11.2. The Colts failed to score the rest of the game and the Jets came back to win 30-15.

Caldwell had decided to forego short term glory (the chance for a perfect season) in exchange for long term safety. He wanted to avoid any chance of injuries to his key starters-especially Manning. In 2005, Caldwell’s predecessor and mentor, former Colts coach Tony Dungy, made a similar decision. The Colts started that season 13-0. Like Caldwell, Dungy seemed to WANT a loss to avoid the pressure of an undefeated season. The Colts did indeed lose to the San Diego Chargers in Game 14. The following week, Dungy pulled Manning in favor of career backup Jim Sorgi. The Colts lost again. In fact, the Colts never won a single playoff game that season. They were eliminated by the Pittsburgh Steelers in their first playoff game.

So much for playing it safe. Besides, far from avoiding the spotlight, Caldwell’s decision has invited national ridicule. Ever the good soldier, Manning has publicly backed his head coach’s decision. However, one look at Manning’s face on the Colts sideline Sunday tells you everything you need to know. The Colts decision to spit in the face of history and not even TRY for perfection was just wrong.

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PEYTON MANNING SINGS KARAOKE DUET WITH KENNY CHESNEY

March 23, 2009

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ARE STAPH INFECTIONS TAKING DOWN THE NFL?

October 25, 2008

PEYTON MANNING: STAPH RESISTANT?

Friday’s Indianapolis Star reported that Colts superstar quarterback Peyton Manning’s preseason knee surgeries were the result of a staph infection. After originally denying the story, the Colts now admit that Manning’s FIRST surgery was the result of a staph infection of the bursa sac in his left knee. However, the club says Manning’s now admitted second knee surgery had nothing to do with staph. They are also vehement in stressing that the infection in Manning’s knee was NOT methicillin-resistant staphylococcus aureus (MRSA.) That is the most serious and potentially deadly form of staph infection.

 

TOM BRADY

The story of Manning’s battle with staph comes immediately on the heels of an ESPN report about New England quarterback and reigning league MVP Tom Brady and his battles with a knee infection. ESPN says the Patriots are furious with Tom Terrific’s decision to go with his Hollywood doctor over an NFL or team-approved sports physician for his ACL and MCL surgeries. It’s probably not a good thing when your physician has an alias. Doc Hollywood may have screwed up pitcher Jason Schmidt’s arm surgery, but he did fix the samba injury Christian de la Fuente suffered to his tendon on Dancing With The Stars.

The Boston Herald says that Brady’s recovery from reconstructive knee surgery is going so badly, because of an infection, that the entire ACL operation may have to be scrapped and “redone from scratch.” ESPN is really pushing the story that the cadaver tissue used in Brady’s initial knee surgery has become infected. They even have a story today that questions whether Brady will return to the field next year saying he “expects” to play in 2009. This follows an ESPN.com piece which openly speculates who the Patriots qb will be in 2009 if Brady can’t play again.

KELLEN WINSLOW JR: TESTICLES THE SIZE OF GRAPEFRUITS

It’s shocking enough that the NFL’s top two players are having their careers hampered by knee infections, but all of these stories make the Cleveland Browns decision to suspend tight end Kellen Winslow Jr. this week for revealing he had a staph infection even more outrageous and indefensible. The Browns have had at least SIX players treated for staph. One of those players, center LeCharles Bentley, almost died. Bentley needed multiple surgeries which eventually ended his career. Another Browns player, wide receiver Joe Jurevicius, still hasn’t come back from his bout with staph which he contracted during a surgery performed by the Brown’s doctor.

When Winslow’s testicles swelled “to the size of grapefruits” the Browns did nothing to dispel a series of outrageous stories and reports about Winslow’s injury including speculation that he may have cancer or even a venereal disease. Instead, Browns general manager Phil Savage (who never called or visited Winslow when he was in the hospital), went insane when Winslow revealed the true nature of his illness.

Typical NFL.

 

JERK CLEVELAND GM PHIL SAVAGE LET BROWNS FANS THINK HIS TIGHT END HAD VD RATHER THAN REVEAL THE TRUTH