Posts Tagged ‘Tim Tebow’

Tebow gets more scoreboard on Jesus: Now has his own comic book

December 30, 2011

It’s a miracle.

Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow is now officially a superhero. Tebow just signed a deal with Marvel Comics to be featured in his own comic book. No, it’s not called  “Super Christian.”

It’s official: Tim Tebow has now performed more miracles than Jesus

December 12, 2011

Another Sunday, another miracle win for the Denver Broncos and quarterback Tim Tebow. This is truly getting ridiculous. For the seventh time in eight weeks since he became Denver’s starting quarterback, the sixth time in a row, in fact, Tebow has pulled out a last minute victory in some form of miraculous win. Most of those games have followed the same script-Tebow sucks and can’t pass for three quarters, then SOMEHOW pulls off a miracle come-from-behind victory. 

Yesterday may have been Tebow and the Broncos most Christ-like rise from the dead yet. Denver was on its way to certain defeat (despite another Tebow last-minute td drive.) The Chicago Bears were running out the clock for a certain win when some (devine?) voice told running back Marion Barber to run out of bounds. Granted a few seconds reprieve, Tebow drove Denver down the field where they hit a 59 yard field goal to send the game into overtime. The Bears took the opening drive in OT down the field and appeared to be in position to twarth another Tebow miracle, but BARBER fumbled the ball, the latest victim to literally be smited by Tebow. The rest is history. Denver gets the ball and drives down for a winning OT field goal.

Denver now leads the AFC West by two games after literally being written off for dead. Ironically, Tebow’s most amazing win came on the same day that three major newspapers wrote articles praising Tebow, not as a quarterback, but as a cultural icon. The New York Times had an editorial about Tebow and the “Gospel of Optimism.” Meanwhile, the Christian Science Monitor had a feature on “The Tim Tebow culture wars.”

All of this came at the same time that The Wall Street Journal was writing about Tebow’s multitude of saintly charity deeds. The article actually refers to him as “God’s Quarterback.” Those charity works go all the way back to Tebow’s school days when he would spend Spring Break circumcising orphans for his father’s missionary program called “Gain Salvation, Lose Your Foreskin.”

Keep in mind that all three of those articles were written BEFORE Sunday’s win.

Tebowing for Dummies

November 16, 2011

&fmt=18

Yes, there’s a Tim Tebow statue in Florida

April 10, 2011

TIM TEBOW SCORES FIRST NFL TD

October 17, 2010

&fmt=18

TIM TEBOW’S ROOKIE HAZING HAIRCUT LEADS TO GREATEST WEEKLY WORLD NEWS STORY IN A DECADE

August 9, 2010

 Friar Tebow.jpg

So, have you heard? Super Christian qb Tim Tebow is converting to Judaism. It’s true. It was a feature article in the Weekly World News.

THAT’S a publication with a great history of breaking big stories. Here’s a list of some of their other journalistic milestones:

LIMITED EDITION TEBOW SHOES SELL OUT IN FIVE MINUTES

August 8, 2010

Nike offered a limited number of special Tim Tebow shoes starting Friday morning at 1:50 a.m. Every one of the 500 pairs of blue and orange shoes sold out within five minutes.

The shoes are now selling for at least $1,000 online.

PHOTOS FROM TIM TEBOW SIGNING AS UNDERWEAR MODEL

July 27, 2010

TIM TEBOW

Denver Broncos rookie quarterback has signed an endorsement deal with the underwear company Jockey. This is apparently better than Tebow’s last t-shirt deal:

HOW TO GET A TIM TEBOW JERSEY FOR UNDER $200

May 10, 2010

Tim Tebow Jersey: Reebok Navy #15 Denver Broncos Replica Jersey

It’s been widely reported that Denver Broncos rookie quarterback Tim Tebow has the top-selling jersey in the National Football League. The problem? Those jerseys are now going for $200 on the NFL Shop website.

In an awesome segment called “Beating the Recession: Broncos Jerseys,” the Denver CBS affiliate has a money saving tip.Thrifty Broncos fans are buying up discounted jerseys of scorned and traded wide receiver Brandon Marshall (the team’s previous #15) then sewing Tebow’s name on the back, thus saving HUGE money.

The Sports Authority is currently selling Brandon Marshall jerseys for $7.47 in Denver. Industrious fans are buying the jerseys and then taking them to  Lombardi’s Embroidery in suburban Denver. There, a woman named Daniella Grieve replaces Marshall’s name on the back of the jersey with Tebow’s.

It’s literally impossible to tell the difference between one of Grieve’s works and the $200 NFL “authentic” Tebow jerseys.

STEP 1: BUY CRAPPY BRANDON MARSHALL JERSEY FOR SEVEN BUCKS

STEP 2: GO TO EMBROIDERY STORE

STEP 3: REPLACE THE NAME “MARSHALL” WITH “TEBOW”

STEP 4: VIOLA! A BRAND NEW TIM TEBOW JERSEY AND YOU JUST SAVED $190!

TEBOW PRACTICES WITH BRONCOS

May 1, 2010

TIM TEBOW

Friday was rookie quarterback Tim Tebow’s first practice with the Denver Broncos.

VIDEO