No longer Sexy Rexy

REX GROSSMAN AND HIS MANBOOBS

On the day he was listed the number one on the team’s depth chart, Washington Redskins quarterback Rex Grossman showed up to training camp looking REALLY FAT.

REDSKINS OWNER NOW MORE HATED THAN EVER

Washington Redskins owner Daniel Snyder is a loathsome human being. That was the point of an awesome, hilarious article written by Dave McKenna of the Washington City Paper. McKenna’s article in the weekly alternative paper detailed a host of atrocities commited by Snyder over the years and was entitled “The Cranky Redskins Fan’s Guide to Dan Snyder,” The piece detailed from A-Z what a complete asshole Snyder is. Among the items revealed by McKenna’s article is how Snyder was thrown off the board of Six Flags amusement park for utter incompetence.

Snyder’s response? He’s threatening to sue the Washington City Paper, claiming “character assassination” and slander. His lawyers are demanding that McKenna be fired. Even worse, he’s throwing around charges of anti-Semitism against the newspaper. Snyder’s lawyers claim the cover art that shows the Redskins owner with horns drawn on him “invokes longstanding Jewish imagery.”

The national media has gone nuts in response of the threatened lawsuit. Snyder is getting absolutely killed for his bullying tactics. As a result, instead of the few thousand people who read an alternative weekly paper in the Washington DC area that no one outside the city has ever heard of, there are now MILLIONS of people who know what a complete and utter jerk Dan Snyder is.

The paper has responded by releasing the threatening letter from Snyder’s law firm. Basically, the letter says the paper needs to fire McKenna and apologize to Snyder because he has enough money to sue the publication until they are out of business. Appallingly, the lawyers told City Paper,

“Mr. Snyder has more than sufficient means to protect his reputation and defend himself …We preume that defending such litigation would not be a rational strategy…the cost of litigation would presumably quickly outstrip the asset value of the Washington City Paper.”

So far, the best response has been by Washington DC sportscaster Brett Haber of WUSA channel 9 TV. In a scathing editorial, Haber eviscerated Snyder. Among other blasts against Snyder, Haber pointed out,

“This isn’t Russia. You don’t get to stifle what the media says just because you don’t like what they write.”

Haber, who’s Jewish, was particularly outraged by the anti-Semitism charges against Washington City Paper. Haber notes that the cover artist who drew the Snyder caricature and the art editor who approved it are BOTH Jewish.

HEATH SHULER TO START PACKING HEAT

 

In the wake of the shooting of Rep. Gabrielle Giffords of Arizona, former NFL player-turned-Congressman Heath Shuler announced Monday he is going to start carrying a concealed firearm. Shuler told Politico, “Now I know I need to have (my gun) on me.”

Shuler is one of two Congressmen to publicly state they are going to start carrying guns (legally) on their person. Both have conceal and carry permits.

HEATH SHULER

SOMEBODY BESIDES MEMBERS OF THE SHANAHAN FAMILY IS FIRED UP OVER REX GROSSMAN

 

REX GROSSMAN

Believe it or not, there are actually NFL players willing to go on the record and say they are “excited” about Rex Grossman starting at quarterback for the Washington Redskins this weekend. Unfortunately, they are all members of the Dallas Cowboys.

Cowboys defensive lineman Jason Hatcher told the Washington Post, “We (the Cowboys) were pretty happy about the news. We’ll take Rex over McNabb any day.” Hatcher added everybody on the Cowboys “started smiling” over the news of McNabb’s benching.

GOOD NEWS: DONOVAN MCNABB LOOKS LIKE A MILLION BUCKS, BAD NEWS: REDSKINS ARE PAYING HIM $78 MILLION

 

If you watched Monday Night Football last evening and were asked to pick which quarterback just received a new $78 million contract you’d have probably guessed Michael Vick of the Philadelphia Eagles. Vick produced a franchise record 633 yards and SIX touchdowns running and passing for the Eagles.

However, it was Donovan McNabb of the Washington Redskins who’d arrived at the game with the freshly-inked new contract. McNabb’s contract with Washington is for five years and worth a reported $78 million. With bonuses, McNabb could make as much as $88 million. At least $40 million of the contract is guaranteed.

That’s a shocking development since Redskins coach Mike Shanahan pulled McNabb from a potential game-winning drive and rreplaced him with freaking Rex Grossman just two weeks ago (then trash-talked McNabb to cover his own ass.)

REX GROSSMAN!?! REALLY???

REX GROSSMAN IN HIS HEYDAY

Wahington Redskins coach Mike Shanahan may get his “genius” card revoked. Shanahan inexplicably pulled an ineffective Donovan McNabb at quarterback Sunday and replaced him with legendary loser Rex Grossman. Granted, McNabb had thrown an interception and been sacked on fourth down on the’Skins previous two possessions. However, Wahington was still in position to WIN the game.

Trailing 31-25 with 1:45 left in the game, Shanahan benched McNabb, his franchise quarterback, and inserted Grossman. Nobody (short of boxer Bernard Hopkins) could explain the move. Sure, McNabb has played poorly all season but never the less the Redskins entered Sunday’s game against Detroit with a WINNING record. Instead of thanking McNabb or even letting him TRY to win the game, Shanahan went with Grossman. The results were predictable.

In fairness, Grossman didn’t throw a single incompletion in the entire next drive. Unfortunately, that was solely because he coughed up the ball on Washington’s first play from scrimmage. Lions defensive superstar rookie Ndamukong Suh bumrushed Grossman, stripped the ball, and ran it in for a game-sealing touchdown. Although they ended up losing 37-25, Washington would have been in great position to win the game had they simply stuck with McNabb. Instead, Grossman still hasn’t completed a single pass this season and has yet to win an NFL game since 2007.

In one of the most brutally frank examples of color commentary/analysis in network television history, Rodney Harrrison of NBC trashed Grossman. Harrison said, “I wouldn’t put Rex Grossman in a two minute offense in a high school game.”

Ouch!

Harrison would know. He was a longtime star NFL defensive back and a contemporary of Grossman’s.

ALBERT HAYNESWORTH: WORST PLAYING OF THE RACE CARD THIS CENTURY

 

Beleaguered Washington Redskins defensive lineman Albert Haynesworth is on his way to being the most despised player in franchise history. After warring with new Redskins coach Mike Shanahan since his hiring, Haynesworth just played the race card.

Describing his treatment by the clubin a radio interview, Haynesworth says he refuses to be treated like a “slave.” A slave who makes over $100 million. According to Haynesworth, just because he has a HUGE contract “that don’t mean I’m for sale or a slave.”

$100 MILLION FATASS KICKED OUT OF REDSKINS PRACTICE

ALBERT HAYNESWORTH

Previously, Albert Haynesworth was simply known as a dirty player and a waste of Washington Redskins owner Daniel Snyder’s $100 million.

Thursday, Redskins coach Mike Shanahan booted Haynesworth off the practice field after he failed to run a third 300-yard conditioning drill. Shanahan declared that Haynesorth had “failed” his conditioning drill. Haynesworth claimed the test was unfair and he NEVER could run three 300-yard drills at any time of his career.

SHANAHAN TO REDSKINS: STOP PARKING IN HANDICAPPED SPACES

Washington Redskins coach Mike Shanahan has instituted several new rules for his new football team. Shanahan says those rules are intended to instill discipline and “make players accountable for their actions.”

Rule Number 1: Players are no longer allowed to park their cars in the handicapped parking spaces at Redskins park when they come to practice.

MIKE SHANAHAN

MCNABB TO REDSKINS

DONOVAN MCNABB THROWING UP DURING EAGLES GAME

The Philadelphia Eagles have traded veteran quarterback Donovan McNabb to the Washington Redskins.