ORIOLES RELIEVER/MURDER SUSPECT TO GO WITH THE THE CESAR CEDENO DEFENSE

  

ALFREDO SIMON AND HIS KILLER FASTBALL

You know how people shoot guns in the air to celebrate the New Year in some Central and South American  countries? Yeah, besides the obvious concept of gravity, here’s another reason why that’s a bad idea. Baltimore Orioles relief pitcher Alfredo Simon is wanted in the Dominican Republic. He is the primary suspect in a murder investigation. According to several sources, Simon was ringing in the New Year when a pair of teenagers standing nearby shot a gun in the air to celebrate. Apparently startled by the gunfire, Simon then allegedly turned towards the sound of the shots a fired a gun of his own. Unfortunately, one of the teens was killed and another was wounded in the exchange.

Authorities are saying it was Simon who fired the shots. Although there are plenty of witnesses who claim to have seen Simon fire the fatal shots, the pitcher may have a way out. It’s the Cesar Cedeno plan.

Cedeno was a superstar center fielder with the Houston Astros in the ’70s. He was the first player in Major League Baseball history to hit 20 homers and steal 50 bases in the same season, and he did it three times. Cedeno was also a brilliant fielder who won five Gold Gloves. On December 11, 1973, the dead body of his teenage mistress was found in a motel room in the Dominican Republic. Cedeno admitted the girl had been shot in the head with his gun. However, after meeting with the local judiciary ($$$$$$$$), Cedeno was found guilty of “involuntary manslaughter” and fined 100 pesos. In fact, after paying the equivalent of an $11 fine, the entire “incident” was concluded in time for Cedeno to report to Spring Training on time with the Astros a free man.

After a few days on the lam, Simon has apparently concocted a Cedeno-esque defense. He claims the surviving teen can clear his name. If only there were a way($) to get him to come forward.

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One Response to “ORIOLES RELIEVER/MURDER SUSPECT TO GO WITH THE THE CESAR CEDENO DEFENSE”

  1. Jaws Says:

    Ron Meyer would just leave a paperclipped business card, Alfredo — you wanna do this meeting ($) reeeeal classy

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