NBA NOW MANDATING THE FIST BUMP
According to the Boston Herald, the National Basketball Association has issued an edict prohibiting handshakes.
It’s all part of the league’s plan to combat the H1N1 virus. Apparently, the NBA fears the havoc a swine flu outbreak could “wreak on the league.” They are ordering clubs to have their players and coaches greet each other “via more sanitary means.”
MIKE BLOWERS: REASON TO SMILE
Mike Blowers didn’t have much of a Major League Baseball career. maybe he should have been a psychic.
The Seattle Mariners do a segment on their pregame show called “Picks to Click.” Sunday, Blowers, now an M’s announcer, predicted that rookie infielder Matt Tuiasosopo would hit his first Major League home run against the Toronto. Then things got scrary. For some reason, Blowers further predicted that Tuiasosop would hit the homer in his second atbat of the game. On a 3-1 pitch. Off a fastball. Into the second deck.
That’s pretty specific. Guess what happened next? Naturally, Tuiasosopo not only homered, but EVERY single prediction made by Blowers came true.
Here’s the AUDIO
Both the blogosphere and the mainstream media have been all over is. Mike Blowers and his clairvoyance is already being called the “greatest prediction of all-time.”
VEGAS RULES!
With five days left in the 2009 Major League Baseball season, it’s time to look back at some preseason predictions. Who did a better job of forecasting? Was it Las Vegas sports books or baseball sabermetrician/stat geeks?
At least for this season, Advantage Vegas.
Before the season began, the Las Vegas Sun printed the projected win totals of all 30 MLB teams (as forecast by an actual Las Vegas casino.) Vegas got the easy picks right. They saw big years by the Yankees and Red Sox. The casino also correctly predicted that the Angels would win the A.L. West. In the National League, the only accurate prediction by this particular Vegas casino was that Philadelphia would make the playoffs (though they had them in as a Wild Card team.) Picking four of eight playoff teams isn’t exactly a banner season. However, the casino did better than the stat geeks.
For several years, the most accurate sabermetrics system for predicting where teams would finish has been PECOTA. The “Player Empirical Comparison and Optimization Test Algorithm” was devised by Baseball Prospectus. It projects the statistics of every player on a baseball team then crunches those numbers to predict how many wins that team will finish with. Unfortunately, there’s nothing “empirical” about predicting statistics. They are completely made up numbers. PECOTA is simply an attempt to quantify the unquantifiable. It’s a guess (albeit an educated one.)
This year, PECOTA blew it. Take their American League predictions. Please. Sure, they nailed the Red Sox and Yankees, but in the A.L. West and A.L. Central the teams that PECOTA predicted to win the division are actually in LAST place! They forecast playoff berths by the Indians and A’s. That’s about as awful as it gets in terms of predictions. In the National League, PECOTA picked just one playoff team correctly (the Dodgers.)
Of course, if you would have followed OUR preseaon picks, we got as many playoff teams right (4/8) as Vegas.
BAD YEAR FOR BASEBALL SABERMETRICIANS
The Chicago City Council is scheduled to vote on a proposal by cab drivers to impose a $50 fee on anyone who vomits in the back of a taxi. In a column for the Chicago Sun-Times, one writer defends the 50 buck vomit tax, calling it a “puke fee.”
One blogger says not to look at the $50 as a fine or a tax. He says to look at it as a premium, VIP service-paying $50 for the opportunity to barf in the cab.
WHEN PUKING IN CABS IS OUTLAWED, ONLY OUTLAWS WILL PUKE IN CABS
YUSEI KIKUCHI
Yusei Kikuchi is the best amateur pitching prospect in Japan. The 18-year-old has a 95-mph fastball and is expected to be the first pick in the Japanese baseball league’s draft next month. IF he stays in Japan.
Kikuchi may decide to jump straight to pro ball in America. He recently worked out for eight Major League teams and every organization in Japan.
BEFORE BEATING HIS WIFE, CHUCK KNOBLAUCH USED HER AND THEIR CHILD AS HUMAN SHIELDS DURING CONGRESSIONAL STEROID HEARINGS IN 2007
Former Major League Baseball player Chuck Knoblauch has been arrested for assaulting his common-law wife. Knoblauch is accused of striking her in the face and choking her.
Last week, the star player for the Binghamton college basketball team was kicked off the squad for dealing crack cocaine. Subsequently, Binghamton University coach Kevin Broadus, a former Georgetown assistant, kicked six other players off his team. It was a major setback for a program that went 23-8 and won the America East Conference, qualifying for the NCAA Tournament last season.
Binghamton’s Athletic Director said he wanted to know, “Who’s running the zoo?”
That led to a furious response. From the Binghamton Zoo. In a letter to the editor to the local paper, entitled “Comparison Insults Zoo,” the zoo’s business manager went off:
“Not one of our tigers has been arrested with cocaine. No otter knocks over old ladies to shoplift condoms. Our bear doesn’t have temper tantrums and storm off his exhibit. You won’t find any of our lemurs busted for smoking pot. So, please, stop insulting zoos by comparing those criminals to us.”
TIKI MAYBEN CAN REALLY DISH THE ROCK…UNFORTUNATELY
STEVE FOLEY
It’s not debatable that the NFL has the worst union of all the major professional sports. Here’s another example of why. The San Diego Chargers are demanding $416,666 back from former linebacker Steve Foley. Foley was involved in an altercation and shot by an off duty San Diego police officer after a drunk driving chase in 2006. The Chargers contend that Foley’s signing bonus was actually a “signing, reporting, and playing” bonus. Since Foley never played in 2006 (what, with being shot and all) the Chargers want their signing bonus money back. Retroactively.
Foley never played another down in the NFL following the shooting incident. Virtually all veteran contracts in the NBA and Major League Baseball are 100% guaranteed. Even if the player is cut, injured or DIES. Meanwhile, the NFL not only doesn’t guarantee money, they routinely go after signing bonuses that they’ve already paid players.
TED NUGENT
According to Rolling Stone magazine, veteran rocker Ted Nugent threatened to kill Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton while onstage during the 2008 presidential campaign. Brandishing a pair of machine guns, Nugent called then-candidate Obama “a piece of s**t” and Hillary Clinton “a worthless bitch.”
Rolling Stone even posted video of Nugent’s maniacal rant on their “Rock & Roll Daily” blog.
STAFON JOHNSON
USC running back Stafon Johnson reportedly suffered a crushed crushed neck and larynx in an on-campus weightlifting accident at the Trojans’ facility Monday. A barbell fell on Johnson’s throat during a morning workout. He was unable to speak when paramedics arrived and is expected to miss the rest of the season.
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